> For starters she’s 39 weeks, she’s literally about to pop.

> I will say he’s a handful, and though our apartment is spacious, it’s only but so big. I feel like he sleeps most of the time, but when he’s in play mode, he can be a bit much.

At this point, does it not seem cruel to you to keep the hyperactive dog in an apartment that’s small?

> I pretty much chalk it down to the lack of special attention, obviously she’s pregnant so the urge to take him out and walk him on a consistent basis while I’m at work is rather non existent.

Even if she wasn’t pregnant, that sounds like this dog needs more energy than your average apartment-living dog. I’m surprised you were even allowed that big of a dog in your apartment.

> I’m not saying she doesn’t at all, but I feel like a properly trained dog is gonna behave and adhere to house rules. I take him out at least twice a day, and to the park at least twice a week, though I’m well aware that he should be at the park more.

Once again… You’re aware he isn’t getting what he needs.

> Secondly I just feel like she’s missing the principle.

I feel like *you’re* missing the principle of a dog being a living creature who deserves to have its needs met instead of being kept somewhere it isn’t going to thrive out of a petty “you said you would so you can’t change your mind when you realize it’s too much to have when you’re literally also about to have a newborn that you have to care for 24/7” argument.

> She took on the responsibility, and now she’s “overwhelmed”.

Don’t be dismissive of your partners concerns. The fact that you’re putting overwhelmed in quotes to show you aren’t taking it seriously is pretty fucked. You work and she doesn’t, but she’s also about to have a newborn who requires a million times more attention than this dog already does and she’s realizing that the dog on top of a newborn is going to be too much for her all day. That’s genuinely being overwhelmed and for pretty damn good reason.

> She even laughed when her sister in law suggested we put him on the side of the road at her sister’s mother day dinner…

Maybe not your kind of humour, but unless she actually considered it then it was just her laughing at a bad-taste joke.

> Not to mention she rushed into finalizing to move into our current apartment which she low key hates. She’s a serial offender when it comes to this type of stuff.

What kind of location do you live in? I don’t totally love my apartment but we knew it was one of the only ones that actually fit all our needs *and* was in a safe location, so when our name came up on the waiting list we rushed to signing all the papers too.

> Furthermore, I feel like I compromise with literally everything, whenever her 4 nieces and nephew want to come over I might bitch, but I give in.

Are you actually in all seriousness expecting a pat on the back because you **”give in”** and let her *have her family over?* You shouldn’t even be bitching. It’s her home too and inviting family over to your home is such a basic fucking right.

> I give in to whatever she wants to eat, whatever she wants to drink, when we order food, I pay all the bills and utilities, I pay whenever she needs her hair done, etc…

Well it sounds like she doesn’t work. How do you expect someone without a job or income to pay themselves? When having a stay at home parent, it’s no longer “my money.” It’s “our money” and it’s extremely controlling to act like the money is completely yours in these situations. You don’t give her an allowance, you don’t “give in” to her wanting some say in food… When only one partner has the income, leaving your other partner with nothing is fucked up.

> She literally has zero responsibilities. She hardly cooks, or cleans, and I get it she’s pregnant.

1- as you said, she’s pregnant. 2- read the above about money and ask yourself if you really think you’d be able to bring yourself to clean up after someone who’s being that much of a dick about the finances.

> I just feel as though, she can be a really selfish person at times, but this time she’s gone too far. I’ve invested financially and emotionally into the dog, and we haven’t even had him a full month.

You’re being selfish here. You haven’t even had him a month and it’s a perfect age for a successful rehoming. He already isn’t getting what he needs and your wife wants to make sure he will get what he needs even with the baby here. You want to keep him despite both yourself and your wife knowing he already isn’t having his needs met and you seem to have no concept of how hard it would be to have a newborn and a puppy you need to train. *You’re not even the one who’s going to be alone with them all day.*

YTA not only to your wife but also massively to this dog. You think that **your wants** should come before the **dogs needs.** You think that **your wants** are so much more important than the **dogs needs** that you’re even fighting your wife on a really petty leg. YTA also for thinking a large still-in-training dog is going to be safe to have around a newborn. You needed to buy a dog at the beginning of the pregnancy the latest so he could be trained before the baby is here. At this point it’s a pretty serious safety concern for **your child.**

Dogs are living creatures that have needs. What that dog needs comes before what you want. Get him to a home that’s going to be able to give him all his needs and give him love. You’re not going to have time to train him when you also need to be connecting to your newborn baby. It is extremely well known that a newborn and a puppy are **horrible** combinations.

Edit; typos, it’s early and I didn’t proofread well enough.

NTA!! You’re right; a dog is a lifelong commitment (edit: lifelong commitment for them obviously, why are so many people confused by this?), and you both took on that commitment when you got him. Don’t make him suffer and lose his family – animals are living creatures with feelings and attachments just like people, and they get severely affected by abandonment. Your gf is SO wrong and being so selfish, especially when she’s the one who got him without thinking about it and without consulting you. So many people have pets (including young pets) when they start families, and they do just fine; you guys will be fine too. He’s just being a puppy at this point because he’s so young; he’ll grow out of that stage with time. And like you said, with the proper training, he can become very well behaved. You sound like you’re providing him with good care and a loving home (with you, anyway). He’s lucky to have such a dedicated and loving dad like you.

ESH. Ya’ll sound very toxic for two people about to bring a child into the world together. The resentment you have for your girlfriend is coming across very strong in this post. You don’t feel like she’s contributing to the household, you feel she has “zero responsibilities,” you don’t like her family, and you’re mad at her for rushing to buy a dog. It sounds like the dog is becoming your line in the sand for all the things that you dislike about the soon-to-be mother of your child.

She shouldn’t have bought the dog. You’re right about that. And you can lean into being right about this one thing if you really want to, and force her to keep an animal she knows she won’t be a good dog mom to while keeping a newborn alive. Or you can rehome the dog to someone who will take better care of it, and get some couples counseling so you two can work out this resentment before your kid sees it.

NTA- At first, I was going to say ESH, but she’s the one who got a dog. A dog isn’t like a new dress or a goldfish, it is a lot of work. Puppies are WAY more work. My puppy is 10 months old and he’s still in training. He was finally potty trained at around 6 (he was good around 5 months but I started to really trust him around 6). And he finally was fully crate trained around that time too. Getting a puppy at 9 months pregnant is an AWFUL idea.

But feeling overwhelmed is normal. You are pregnant, going to have a baby and you’re probably still woken awake from a puppy. That is a lot in a short amount of time. I would suggest giving her a breather, try to get a friend or family member to watch the dog for a day or two. Let her breathe and start to feel “normal” again. Your hormones aren’t as crazy as hers are, support her but stand your ground.

Edit: Spelling changed away to awake

NTA. You most likely will have to find a new home for the dog though.
Your GF is pregnant, she doesnt seem the most mature, and from what youve shared I cant picture her being able to handle a newborn and a puppy, though not that most people could. Look, straight up this relationship probably isnt gonna last the year if yall dont work communication out. You seem to hold some resentment for the fact that shes not contributing anything because of her pregnancy, dont know how long that behavior has gone on, but pregnancy, even about to pop-ness, doesnt make someone absolutely incapable of making a meal or cleaning a bit of the house. And if impulsivity was a problem pre pregnancy, shes definitely gotta work on that too. You’re building a family together, you cant have each partner doing their own thing and expect it to be a functional cohesive healthy life.

These comments are ridiculous. Dude ESH. Shes 39 weeks preg with your first child. If shes voicing to you she can’t handle the dog BELIEVE HER. A newborn is no fucking joke, she’s not gonna be able to handle that and an untrained puppy. Yeah she sucks she doesn’t do anything shes entitled blah blah blah but shes a human being and she can potentially have PPD and snap. You don’t want that. The dog is 4 months old, not 4 years old. All these people saying you dont give up a dog are right….but literally you have had this dog for a month. A ton of people will be happy to take a golden lab puppy off your hands. Do the right thing and rehome it. You might be able to recoup some of your costs. The dog will be happier too.

NTA

I get where you are coming from – I do. And you are right- you are.

But why should the dog suffer because your wife is immature.

Please rehome this poor under stimulated dog to someone with a yard that wants to love it.

This is cruel. Shes going to resent and ignore the dog. It has feelings too.

Please reconsider using this sentient being as a tool to train your wife. Do whats right for the dog please. You will have no problem finding a much better home for the dog.

Let her know she’s not winning – your pride is blocking your rational and compassionate thinking her. Let her know she failed with the dog and she needs to do better with the kid.

Please let this dog have a better life.
Thank you.

Yta- forget all the other stuff for a minute. Puppies are a full time committment, and babies even more so. It sounds pretty fucked but if she is not willing to take proper care of it 4 mo is a good time to rehome.
Using a living creature to ‘teach’ her a lesson is not your place and is not a good idea.

How much are you doing to help her? If you really want to keep that puppy maybe you should take on the burden of his care. It sounds sexist and I do not know your life, but do you truly do your ‘fair share’? Statistically, even with a man that helps women do more household and mental labor. I’m not dissing you, but do consider what you can do to ease that burden.

The only thing to bear in mind during this is: the puppy. Is he going to get the care and training he needs to mature into the dog he deserves to be?

I get that you have principles here, and I totally get where you’re coming from. If you’re going to step up and fill the gap, then NTA.

But if you’re going to just let the situation develop and expect your GF to be someone she’s clearly incapable of being, the puppy will pay the price. In which case, you W B T A.

I have chosen to believe the best of you, and let my judgment reflect that.

Good luck, and put the puppy’s well-being in the forefront of your mind when making your final decision.

NTA, definitely, *but*…you have a baby coming, and that baby is going to make a puppy look like a walk in the park by comparison. What are you going to do if she doesn’t want to take care of the baby, either?

My second point is that yes, animals should be a lifelong commitment, but they shouldn’t suffer to make a point about how they’re a lifelong commitment. If no one is going to have the time or interest to train that poor dog after the baby arrives, it’s definitely better to find him a new home.

Just want to thank everyone for their replies, I’m certainly not perfect, and I’m definitely aware I can be stubborn, maybe even so in this situation. I definitely can be more active with him, I’m home no later than 3pm everyday.

Right now I’m somewhere in between Doggy Daycare, and giving him to a relative. I just find this entire situation incredibly irresponsible on her end. I wouldn’t be keeping the dog to punish her, but because I genuinely have built a report with the guy.

ESH – she shouldn’t have gotten the dog in the first place but you shouldn’t make her keep it on “principle “. It’s a dog which needs to go to a more suitable home, not be kept around as a lesson where the two of you aren’t capable of looking after it as well as it needs. If it’s overwhelming now then it’s only going to get worse and it’s better to re-home it sooner than later. If you’d had it for longer then I’d understand but this is not where you should put your foot down.

NTA Getting an animal is a responsibility and not something you should just change your mind about and joke about leaving somewhere.

>put him on the side of the road

Is she going to get overwhelmed and want to put the baby on the side if the road?

Having both will be a challenge but the dog will get better quickly. Hang in there.

Side note: story changes to YTA if you follow through with leaving your girlfriend and baby.

ESH you are definitely not giving the dog enough care and attention…it needs more it’s a puppy walking it twice a day and taking it to the park twice a week is not enough. It needs to have a lot more exercise. Who is supposed to be caring for this puppy? Because do you really think when she has an infant she is going to be able to do more?

NTA im worried how is she going to cope with a baby when that becomes overwhelming. She sounds incredibly immature. The dog is a living creature. Its so cruel to decide to get rid if it now.

Two things op. Chip your dog so if it ‘accidentally’ runs away when you’re at work.
And two dog tax please.

NTA, if she can’t handle a dog, I am genuinely concerned with how she will handle a child. Taking care of a dog is so much simpler than taking care of a child, so if she can’t handle a dog, she’s going to struggle with a child…

ESH. She shouldn’t have got the dog in the first place, but you need to realise that the kindest thing to do for the puppy is rehome it. Neither of you will have the time or energy to dedicate to a dog once you have a newborn.

ESH. You don’t get rid of a puppy if it’s hard but you are greatly underestimating how much energy they have. Two walks a day is nothing. And judging by your list of complaints you guys have other issues besides this.