Oh you’re such a pathetic little drama queen, clutching your pearls over your fiancee’s college past like it’s some grand betrayal- grow up! You’re not mad about the invites; you’re mad she had a life before your fragile ego entered the picture, and now you’re throwing a tantrum so loud you called off the whole damn wedding over it. Newsflash: those guys aren’t her current lovers- they’re just people she knew, and she was honest enough to include them on her guest list, but you couldn’t handle that because you’re too busy playing the wounded victim. YTA for making her past all about your insecurities instead of owning your own issues like an adult.
And let’s talk about how you “agreed” to call off the wedding and are now “reconsidering” the relationship- wow, what a manipulative power move from someone who clearly thinks they’re the prize here! You humiliated your fiancee, made her feel like her past makes her unworthy of you, and now you’re dangling the relationship over her head like some petty dictator. She’s better off without a judgmental hypocrite who can’t handle a few names on a guest list- maybe she should reconsider you, because you sound like the kind of insecure control freak who’ll hold this over her forever.
YTA, and I hope she sees through your self-righteous BS and finds someone who actually deserves her!

Let’s be honest. The gangbang is an issue cause it made you see her differently. I hate people that try to say something not to get hate here on reddit from the lunatics. Just own it. No guy wants to believe their girl did a gang bang. I couldn’t be with someone that did that cause I know myself and to consider someone my wife and mother of my children I wouldn’t want that to come out and change the view of the kids towards their mom so I wouldn’t marry that person. I own that, and you need to as well. You look at it as you marry her and these guys who have also been with your fiance in a sexual way, and that takes away from what you thought she was. There’s an old say… A woman cares about a man’s future, and a man cares about a woman’s past. If you don’t agree with this, that’s fine, but there’s a reason women look for guys that are financially secured and men don’t want a promiscuous girl.

Seems to me like she wants to recreate old times and have a gangbang before she gets married.

Either way it’s shady as fuck that she never told you about this in the first place and even more crazy shady that despite the fact that they’re not friends anymore she wants to invite all five dudes who used to group fuck her to her wedding.

That’s fucked up no matter how you look at it.

I mean for me personally finding out that she had group sex with five guys already would have been enough for me to completely call off the entire relationship with her. Clearly you don’t feel that way about that part though.

I still say the rest of it though is enough to be calling it off. She’s acting super shady.

NTA. So she wanted a scenario where you’re making the rounds at your wedding and you meet these men that you’ve never met before, and you’re like “hey, how do you know my new wife?” and they’re like ‘we use to have group sex parties in college?”

LOL, wtf.

I don’t have a problem inviting ex partners to a wedding if they’re actually people who have made the transition to platonic friends, and they’re still actively part of your friend group and your fiance knows them/the history and is cool with the friendship because they trust that it actually is just platonic.

BUT…this is not even remotely that.

NTAH
I could see if she was still friends with these guys and talked to them here and there still. Like you said having the gangbang isn’t the issue because at the end of the day we all have a past and what matters is the right now. But why is she inviting all of them to you guys wedding if she doesn’t talk to them? That’s just weird and honestly it’s a little head tilting. I’m curious as to the reasons she gave you for inviting them.

A lot of people invite friends from their past who they are no longer particularly close with to their wedding.

Two of my close friends met at my NYE party that turned into an orgy. 50% of the weddings I go to are for dudes where I’ve had sex with one or both of the grooms. I don’t see what the big deal is.

You can call a wedding for any reason, and exit any relationship at will.

NAH.

The gang bang IS the issue for the OP that is slow about it. If it weren’t, they wouldn’t have been ID’d as guys she had a gang bang with. They’d just be some guys she knows and no one else did or did and she never banged them. My now ex-wife didn’t know every single person I invited to ours on my side.

Besides, not like she’d be going at it during the wedding with them anyways.

YTAH

NTAH at all , not only did she not tell you about this but to invite people who you have had such a past with but are not in touch with currently is just wild . That’s a serious breach of trust and I wish you the best of luck and hope you make the right choice for you. P S. Buy your friend those beers and have some yourselves.

Lol if she wasn’t just going to leave it as a deep dark secret she shouldn’t have felt comfy inviting them. That being said if I was seeing a girl and she all the sudden dropped she got tag teamed by 5 dudes id look at her differently and drop her real quick. Especially if it seemed like every1 knew except me

Honestly I commend you on being both understanding and standing in business. Clearly those were some special moments for her if she was willing to invite them to the wedding. Before continuing things I would try to understand why she feels so strongly about it and then go from there.

It’s not that she used to regularly get gang banged in college? Because that alone would’ve been an issue for me much less thinking I’d want them at our wedding and not tell me any of this in the first place. Unfortunately she wasted your time. Luckily that’s all she did.

Honestly both things would be a huge issue for me. But dont reconsider. Its one thing to experiment. For her to invite a bunch of guys who railed her at the same time multiple times to her WEDDING? Thats wild. Shows shes still in touch with that part of her life

Maybe she’s not worth marrying if her thinking inviting everybody she’s ever done it with is an okay thing to do. It shows a lack of respect for you and your potential marriage. Does she want all your exs and one night stands there? I doubt it.

NTA, I get you don’t LIKE that she slept with multiple men at once multiple times- but you’re not cutting The wedding off over that. You’re cutting it off over the invites (totally get that). Go find someone that deserves your love; she doesn’t.

yea def weird she wants invite ALL of them, like you said, it’s normal she has a past but did she really have to invite all of them?? it’s as i’d she isn’t considering your feelings either… don’t think you would want to marry that person.

If she can’t understand why this would be upsetting for you, you’re going to run into this issue a lot in the future. Where she just doesn’t care about your feelings and opinions just because she thinks differently.

NTA. sorry, that’s too much of a secret for her to not tell and then invite them. There’s something about this woman that she’s hiding. Don’t marry her. And if she’s not budging then that explains that. Sorry man.

obama voice: let me be clear. id be concerned not only that my future wife wanted her gangbang buddies at her wedding, but that she was in a gangbang in the first place thats ultimate sloppy seconds

Marrying someone who had a gangbang is f*cking weird dude. You should have an issue with that part of it. You seem brainwashed if you’re saying it’s not an issue.

She got stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey and you have no problems, What are you Ron Jeremy in the hose department?

What else is she hiding?

Feelings are so fking valid. Calling off a wedding over this could be seen as an overreaction without deeper discussion.

Why would you even consider marrying her now. She has zero respect for you.

Well you know, if this was actually true.

Personally the gangbang would be a dealbreaker for me.

Anyway. NTA, you can call off a wedding for any reason.

WHATS CRAZY IS IS THAT 2 of THEM ARE BROTHERS. NTA how can she expect you to be okey with that is crazy

> It’s not that she had a gangbang that’s the issue.

Nothing whatever wrong with that being an issue

You appear to be a little slow.

If she invited all the guys from Algebra 101 we wouldn’t be here.

Why would she want to invite them though?

Op what did she say when you asked about “guest list”?

Well, they’re going to be at her bachelorette party so it would be rude to skip the wedding.

NTA

In her defense, the wedding after party wouldn’t be the same without all 5.

She couldn’t have invited only 3 of the 5 – they would’ve felt left out

NTA

I’m not sure I know how to touch this, clearly those 5 did though.

A 5 guy gangbang doesn’t bother you?

This can’t be real

NTA. I’d be wondering what else she hasn’t told you…

100% NTA. Her inviting them was wildly inappropriate.

Nta… it’s way easier to break up than divorce

Damn girl leave college in college wtf. NTA.

Id be calling off the marriage personally

NTA. You want a bride, not the town bike.