Upon seeing her silver hoop earrings, the boyfriend made a specific comment suggesting that white women wear such earrings to attract Black men. When the user reacted negatively, calling him a weirdo, he then stated that a white woman with a large posterior also attracts Black men, claiming he was trying to compliment her. This left the user confused and questioning her boyfriend’s intentions.
I (27f) am very confused. My boyfriend (25m) and I are both white. I was at the gym. My boyfriend came to pick me up but I wasn’t done with my workout.
He pointed out the fact that I was wearing silver hoop earrings.
I thought he was going to say it something about them not being safe at the gym. But what he said was, a white woman wears hoop earrings to attract black men.
I was so flabbergasted by that comment.
I called him a weirdo and then he said he was just trying to give me a compliment. He then told me a white woman with a big ass attracts black men. I don’t know what to make his comments.
Am I the asshole ?
Conclusion
The original poster is currently confused by her boyfriend’s statements, which she perceives as strange and inappropriate comments rooted in racial stereotypes, despite his claim that they were compliments. The central conflict lies between the poster’s expectation of supportive and respectful behavior from her partner and the boyfriend’s introduction of racially charged observations into a personal interaction.
The situation requires consideration of whether the boyfriend’s comments stemmed from genuine, albeit poorly expressed, attraction, or if they reveal underlying biases or a misunderstanding of respectful communication. Readers must weigh whether the act of making such racially coded comments, regardless of intent, warrants the poster’s concern.
Here’s how people reacted:
SMH. Not only is your boyfriend weird, he’s dumb as a rock if he thinks anyone is gonna believe that was meant as a compliment! He sounds insecure, jealous, and potentially very controlling. How long have you been dating? Because I feel like this is just the tip of the iceberg and he’s just begun to show his true colors. Don’t be surprised if he starts complaining if you wear anything the least bit tight or revealing.
NTA
Maybe find someone who is more evolved.
Your boyfriend is far worse than a weirdo, he is a racist. Dump him immediately. Nobody, especially men, should police what women wear for any reason.
🎼I like big butts and I can not lie..🎼
She could be wearing it because she likes those earrings ?
I’ll bet he listens to weird bro podcasts.