The flight attendant noted that the woman’s allergy information in the system specified ingestion issues, not airborne risk, leading to a brief disagreement over the specificity required for notification. When the woman asked the OP to refrain from eating his nuts as a courtesy, the OP explained he needed them for medication and offered to eat them elsewhere, which she reluctantly accepted. Upon the OP’s return, the neighbor was complaining about him to the crew, leading the OP to question his handling of the interaction.
Had a bizarre situation today. I was flying from Hawaii to Florida. The stewards were walking around giving out mixed nuts.
The woman seated next to me said to the flight attendants that she didn’t want any because she is allergic to nuts and that there should’ve been a note in their system regarding not serving her nuts.
The attendant said in the survey she’d filled out for the airline regarding injury she had not indicated that it was an airborne allergy and only checked that she couldn’t ingest nuts.
She stated they still shouldn’t have served them and she shouldn’t need to be that specific.
The attendants asked her if we needed to make an emergency landing or if she required medical attention. She said no.
The woman asked me if I could not eat the mixed nuts. Everyone around us had an open plastic cup of mixed nuts. I told her I wasn’t sure how my eating them or not would help her in this situation.
She said it was just a courtesy.
I told her (truthfully) I hadn’t eaten at all yet and needed to have something in my stomach to take a medication. I asked her if I could go to the back of the plane to eat the nuts then come back.
She sort of rolled her eyes but said this was fine.
When I came back she was complaining to the flight attendants about me and asking to be moved, specifically using the term “that asshole.”
I feel badly that I didn’t handle the situation better. AITA?
Conclusion
The central conflict involves balancing the real safety concerns of an individual with a severe allergy against the reasonable expectations and needs of other passengers on a commercial flight. The OP felt obligated to accommodate a request for courtesy, even when the direct impact of his eating the nuts was unclear, leading to negative social repercussions.
The debate centers on whether the OP should have immediately complied with the neighbor’s request for courtesy, or if the neighbor overstepped by demanding another passenger alter their behavior based on her stated allergy, especially after the crew determined an emergency landing was unnecessary. Was the OP’s refusal to simply not eat the nuts appropriate, or should he have prioritized the neighbor’s comfort immediately?
Here’s how people reacted:
It’s on her to inform the airline of her allergies. It’s also her responsibility to be specific about HER allergy. Airlines don’t review your medical records before letting you on the plane, they ask in a survey. If you don’t specify your allergies there, it’s not their fault, it’s yours. She’s trying to make it look like the airline did something wrong when it was her. Since that didn’t work, she tried to turn it on you. Still doesn’t work.
Clearly her allergy isn’t as bad as she’s trying to make it out to be because she didn’t have a reaction to the whole plane eating nuts. You eating in the back and coming back to your seat didn’t effect her, either. You’re not an asshole at all.
Allergies can be serious, but it’s still 100% on the allergy sufferer to make sure they don’t get exposed to what they’re allergic to. They have to do their part to avoid having reactions. You did your best to work around it, and you’re not an asshole in this situation.
The airlines could have easily given you another snack. But you didn’t bother to ask.
Allergies at 30,000 ft in the air can be no fun or deadly. Rashes, blisters, nausea, vomit, or suffocation.
Airlines also don’t handle allergies well and often want to pretend the passenger didn’t have it. So not marking a box about it being airborne can be due to the fact that she wasn’t made aware that she needed to or the allergy may be triggered by touching things that have nut dust on them. Eg. her seatmate’s armrest or seat cushion.
I would hope that your mother raised you better to have compassion for others’ plight. And this was a small ask.
But life is long and maybe one day when you or your children or aging parents need a little courtesy, you won’t get it.
It costs nothing to be nice and decent. You missed the mark.
If you needed food for your medication why are you relying on your attendant handing out nuts? Surely you’d have brought something with you.
I’ve been on flights where they’ve not given out nuts due to someone having a sever allergy.
No way am I scoffing nuts if someone next to me is allergic to them.
It was her fault for not filling in pre flight info correctly.
If she had an airborne allergy then she could’ve got the Fa to make an announcement, but didn’t.
Did she get at anyone seated around you with open nuts?
The second she called you an asshole then it’s game on…. Oh no you didn’t just say that kind of thing
I dunno. I kinda think ESH to some extent.
>I asked her if I could go to the back of the plane to eat the nuts then come back
She should have said “That would be great, thank you so much. And if it’s not too much to ask, could you wash your hands and perhaps wipe off around your face when you’re done. Thanks again.”
NTA
I can absolutely understand her worry but she should have made her allergy clearer with the team working the flight.
She should have been very clear if her allergy was at that level.
If she did not have an allergy at that level, then she should shut her mouth and mind her own business
It wasn’t a big stretch for me to hold off on my snickers yearning until after work.
[the truth about Nuts](https://theconversation.com/the-myth-of-flying-peanuts-not-so-deadly-after-all-44687)
I have a fatal peanut allergy. She was being dramatic and using her allergy as an excuse to be an asshole.
The entitlement of some people…