He carefully gathers gifts, symbols of tenderness and understanding, only to face harsh words from her parents who see his gestures through a lens of suspicion and disdain. In this tender struggle, the young man’s devotion clashes with misunderstanding, painting a poignant portrait of love tested by doubt and the hope for reconciliation.
I (m26) became a dad a month ago. Hence, why I’m posting at 4 am. I can’t sleep. I got my girlfriend (f24) who I was living with pregnant. Her parents never really approved of me after that.
When I brought her home after the birth, her parents came with us. I paid a buddy of mine to buy a bunch of things she couldn’t have while pregnant or avoided while pregnant and put them in a basket.
Some notable items were sushi, an expensive bottle of her favorite wine and a keureg machine.
I know she misses having a glass every once in a while. She’s been especially strong when I had my buddies over to watch sports and we had a few beers. Also she loves her coffee and I couldn’t tell you how she went to work for 8 months without it.
So I felt bad and splurged.
When her parents saw this gift they called me uneducated and said that the alcohol can get in the breast milk. I told them I did my research and they said that it is immature to gift alcohol to a woman who just gave birth.
I may be overthinking this but AITA?
Conclusion
The original poster acted out of a desire to comfort his girlfriend after the birth of their child, attempting to bring back small familiar pleasures like wine and coffee, which he perceived as thoughtful gestures. However, this action directly conflicted with the strong disapproval and judgment from the girlfriend’s parents regarding the appropriateness of gifting alcohol to a new mother, creating tension around his perceived lack of understanding or care for postpartum health and social norms.
Given the sharp disagreement between the OP’s kind intentions and the parents’ serious concerns about health and maturity, is the OP’s gesture justifiable as a loving effort, or was it an insensitive failure to respect the sensitive postpartum period and the critical input of her family?
Here’s how people reacted:
You’re very sweet and yes, your wife doesn’t need to drink the whole bottle in an evening and she can consume a little wine even during breastfeeding. Congratulations! In a few months, you’ll very probably have calm evenings you can spend with your girlfriend. It’s worth it.
I think this is really sweet. The CDC says that there is no known harm associated with nursing mothers having a drink (which they clarify as one standard drink, not more) and your girlfriend doesn’t even need to drink it right away. Most importantly, her parents need to realize she can make decisions about her own body and the two of you will be making parenting decisions. It’s simply not up to them.
Not really that thoughtful imo when the mother has to stay, clear of them during nursing.
Yta
The infant is going to be negatively affected
I think it’s sweet, it shows you acknowledging what she went through and you appreciating it.
The wine doesn’t expire and can wait for whenever she feels comfortable drinking again. They need to calm down and stop looking for reasons to despise you.
Her parents are very judgemental and emotional about this. It is a thoughtful gift. No one said she should get black out drunk or live of expresso. Moderation and timing is always the key.
NTA. Did they think their daughter was just going to neck the whole thing immediately? SMH.
These people need to get slapped with a big dose of “It’s the thought that counts”