Yet, beneath the surface of routine and fatigue, a subtle plea lingers—her husband’s casual desire for variety stirs a complex storm within her. It’s a reminder of the unseen labor she bears, and the emotional exhaustion woven into every meal she prepares, often unnoticed and unshared.
I’m the only one who cooks in our house. It’s just 4 of us, my husband, my daughter and little brother. My husband is 27 and I’m 25.
My husband barely knows how to make eggs, even though I’ve tried to talk to him constantly about learning how to cook. My daughter and brother are still in elementary school so they only help me cook.
The responsibility falls on me and it’s honestly exhausting.. so, I just set up a system in my head. It’s easy, for breakfast It’s just something with eggs or cereal. Lunch is some sort of sandwich, burger, or leftovers.
Dinner is the meal I usually plan but I have like 10 dishes I repeat. Sometimes I’ll go off, especially Sunday, but generally I stay because it’s easier for me mentally.
Well, one day I made just pasta alfredo with chicken and as we were eating, my husband mentions that it would be nice if I made “fancier” dishes. I asked him what he meant and he explained he wants me to change things up, add some more meat dishes and variety.
Next time, we went out shopping and i was putting ingredients I don’t usually buy into the cart. As the ingredients started piling up, my husband was getting all puffy and upset. We got to the meat aisle and I started picking out beef and that’s when my husband lost it and started taking things out of the cart.
Saying that we can’t afford my “fancy living”. I blinked at him and tried to explain that he was the one who asked for variety and different dishes, so I’m buying different ingredients.
He rolled his eyes and told me that I’m being dramatic. I just let him do his thing, taking out most of the ingredients out.
The next week, I made the same dishes because that’s all I had ingredients for. A week passed and my husband was all pouting that I made fried rice again and that he’s sick of chicken.
When I pointed out that he took out all the beef out of our cart, he blew up on me again and said I’m being an asshole because he doesn’t know how to cook? AITA?
Conclusion
The Original Poster (OP) feels overburdened by being the sole cook for the household and acted out of frustration by stopping the variety of meals when her husband rejected the increased cost of ingredients. The central conflict lies between the husband’s desire for varied, complex meals and his simultaneous refusal to either learn to cook or accept the financial implications of his request.
Since the husband demands varied cooking but refuses to support the necessary planning or learn basic skills, is it fair to expect the OP to provide gourmet meals while simultaneously controlling the budget for ingredients, or should the husband take immediate responsibility for learning to cook or managing meal planning?
Here’s how people reacted:
I thought having a certain number of dishes on rotation was normal. We have around 9/10 meals that we have for dinners and plan our week ahead as to what we are having on what days. Generally they are things like spaghetti Bolognese, creamy chicken, stew, fry, roast dinner etc. nothing fancy or out of the ordinary.
You did what he said to do, if he doesn’t like it then he can take that up with his own self.
Do not accept any comments or criticism from him on the meals you prepare.
NTA
He sounds utterly unreasonable and I’d be tempted to just cook for you and the children and leave him to learn to cook for himself.
“No problem” – buys different food
“NO, NOT LIKE THAT!”
NTA.