NTA. For one, dating someone with children is not for everybody. If that’s not something you’re comfortable with you don’t have to do it.

Two, keeping the fact he has one kid from you is bad enough, but he has two from different women and it sounds like there’s some drama there that I’m sure you don’t wanna get caught up in.

Three, if I were you I’d do the same thing. Actually, I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I was gonna go out with this guy who said he was married before but had no kids. I found out on Facebook he had a son and he told me he didn’t tell me because it was a dealbreaker for some women.

And just some advice as I have been through a similar situation, if/when you break up with him he may try to manipulate you and say things like you’re selfish or hate kids or are judgmental. Do not believe that for one second! And I’m saying this as someone who is a teacher and made the choice to work with kids. Dating someone with kids is not for everyone because the ex(es) are going to be around and the kids will most likely come first.

If you need to, tell him you no longer wish to date him because he lied to you about something huge. Which would be a fair reason to break up. Or you can say whatever you want but please please please leave him! It’s only been two months and this sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Start the new year fresh!

Best of luck!

Nta, I woman I know had the same thing happen with a guy she was seeing and got pregnant by. First he lied about having any kids then when she found out about one BM he admitted to having two children with two different women. That couldn’t have been any further from the truth, it turned out he had 9 children already with 5 different women and her son was going to be his 10th. Since they split he went on to have another 5 children with three other women.
If he’s hidden the fact that he’s fathered 2 children in the past year I wouldn’t be surprised if there are others he’s hiding.

If he can lie about this what else is he lying about? Get out while you can and before you end up tied to him the way these other women are. Let’s be honest it’s not about the fact that he has kids, it’s that he lied about their existence.

He should have told you DATE ONE.

He lied because he knew there was a chance you wouldn’t be interested if you knew he had kids as baggage.

Dump him immediately. He lied. He manipulated you. Stole your time, used you for sex and pleasure for himself, while diminishing and creating a false relationship with you that sneaky hid parts of himself he KNEW would be conditional to consent of your time and body.

He violated you. Big time. No, it’s not technically rape, but it’s still a violation to not give you all the relevant information he knew would be conditional to moving forward both sexually and romantically.

The kindest possible reading is that he’s lacking the confidence to be up front about something, which is obviously a disadvantage when dating. His logic is to hold the information back long enough for you to get to like him and then not be put off by the fact he does have other things in his life he needs to balance against his potential relationship.

The only thing is, that’s still manipulation – albeit probably out of cowardice than anything else. He might not be a terrible man, but he’s been really stupid. Hopefully he’ll learn from this.

NTA. Baffles me when people hide stuff like that as it shows what kind of person they are. Is he not proud to be a dad? Is he not interested in them at all? And if so is that that irresponsible and uncaring? 2 months and he’s not mentioned them once? Nah, that’d be a deal breaker for me. Don’t know many people that care if someone has kids already, most of my friends have married with a previous kid from at least one of their pairing. It’s not a deal-breaker to a lot of people, but hiding that you have kids is.

Run. If he would lie about his children, he will lie about anything. Do you want to become baby mama number 3? Think about it, why hasn’t he married the other women he fathered children with? And the youngest is 9 months? He’s just getting his dick wet all over town. You’re 25, go date someone single with no kids. This is a recipe for disaster. Now if you stay with him, just know you were warned.

NTA. He has deliberately misled you, if not outright lied to you, I think that you are completely justified to feel confused and betrayed. It the begs the question of what else has not been shared!

Not sure why he was surprised/defensive that you asked questions, surely he should have been more upset if you cared so little for his children that you brushed past it.

As a practical matter, do you want to date a guy with a 9 month old and a 13 month old and two dueling baby mamas? At best, he’s a good dad (doubtful) and you now have two babies fifty percent of the time. More likely, he’s a deadbeat and do you want to take that chance with your own life (and also, ew. That’s not attractive).

Red flags all over the place.

If his kids were older (like teenagers), It wouldn’t bother me, but this guy has two infants under the age of two and is still trying to get laid. He hasn’t learned a thing from his situation, yet. I’m not saying he’s a bad person for making mistakes but if he’s already dating, he has no perspective on what got him into this situation to begin with.

In the guy’s mind: You’re leaving because I told you I had kids.

Actual thought process: I’m leaving because you hid it from me and just sprung it on me. What else are you hiding?

I understand you might not want to say anything on the first date, but this kind of stuff needs to be out in the open quickly. If not it makes you look shady.

NTA. He kept it a secret because it’s so recent. His youngest was only 7 months old when you started dating.

Anyone else read it as the kids didn’t get along with each other at first. I thought those babies had beef with each other.

I think this guy needs to be on his own for a while and concentrate on being a dad.

NTA

He lied, on purpose, to up his chances. If a person specifically omits information to gain a benefit, they’re manipulating the situation.

He proved that he’s willing to lie to get his way. You can’t trust someone like that. And then he tried to make you out to be overreacting to him lying.

Big red flag; two babies two different mamas on a four months apart. Are you prepared to be the third woman? I saw his last is nine months old and nine months have two babies at 18 months apart or you will play into that crap? Run now and run far and block him on your phone.

Honestly, this situation seems super shady. It’s one thing to not mention kids right away, but to drop that bomb after two months? And the way he got defensive over questions? Nah, that’s a huge red flag. Trust your gut, this feels like there’s more he’s hiding.

If you date someone for two months and they don’t tell you about their two kids they are either a shit father because they don’t even talk about their kids or they have something to hide. Or both. Probably hiding that they are a shit father.

It’s not even just about the kids. It’s the lying, deception and obvious cheating that was going on, and obvious lack of using protection. This is not someone you consider a serious relationship with. Bye bye boy.

NTA. He lied to you for 2 months because he didn’t want you react negatively. What else would he lie about in the future for the same reason. And this isn’t even a small lie, this is huge. Run for the hills.

Run ,

If he hid his kids .. imagine what else he is hiding … go do a search and see what his criminal history is

The kids are 4 months apart – 2 moms = he’s a cheater … that’s why he didn’t tell you

NTA

That’s not a small lie. It’s an absolute tirade of lies. Massive lies. Find someone else who doesn’t lie like he does, or date till you get another good match, or, be single 🙂

Good luck.

I think 2 months is a long time to keep that away from you. Things like that should be coming out in the first or second date. That is assuming you’re actually dating and not just hooking up

NTAH

Two baby momma’s and the kids are only four months apart. Do you honestly think he’s ever gonna be loyal to you with that history?

Tbh honey it doesn’t look good – people have patterns of behaviour and his don’t look good – you have your standards and he ain’t it !

This has more red flags than a Soviet Army parade. NTA, and get out before you end up with #3, while someone else is carrying #4.

NTA-he didn’t tell you because he’s a trash bf and probably a trash dad. Unless you want to become hus next baby mama, leave.

“he didnt tell me because he was afraid I wouldn’t like him anymore”

What kind of father pretends he doesn’t have children

How the F do you even have to ask? Are you that desperate for a man? Do you have the face of a cockroach? GET. OUT. NOW.

I feel like the two different moms having kids a few months apart from each other is probably the worse part here.

NTA, but he is. He lied by hiding his children with 2 different mothers. Are you ready to be mother number 3?

You are not the first one to be surprised that a guy has children. They manage not to mention them at all.

Break up with him. You’re shocked a 31 year old has kids? “dating” for, what, a month? Do the guy a favor

This doesn’t seem like “not teling” but really hiding it, which is really wrong, and he knows it. NTA.

Oh my god run. This guy is a hot mess.

Unless of course you want to be baby momma no 3.

Lol. He knows whats wrong.

Its not like he hid it by accident. He knows what he did.

Dude is waving so many red flags at a time and he doesn’t know what’s wrong 🤣😂

Are you prettier than the other baby momma’s?