Behind the clatter of weights and the hum of machines, an unspoken battle unfolds—a struggle not just for physical strength, but for self-respect and dignity. Amidst the judgmental glances and muttered disdain, she stands tall, embodying resilience in the face of shallow assumptions.
The gym I go to is very small. Not a lot of machines and not a lot of patrons. This means working out fairly close to people even if you don’t mean to. Yesterday I (23 f if it makes a difference) was on the extended leg press doing my thing when a girl and her boyfriend began working out on the machine beside me.
(One would do a set while the other waited beside them) The girl looked at me, rolled her eyes and muttered to her boyfriend “Ugh I hate girls who only come to the gym to get a big ass.”
I shrugged her off, and kept doing my thing. I was on the assisted pull up machine doing an exercise where you put one foot on the pad and push downwards (apologies for not knowing the name, my trainer showed me it so I’m not entirely sure if it’s an actual well known exercise).
The same girl looks at me, tuts and says to her bf “Look there she goes again, and her forms terrible.” Which is possibly true but she pissed me off.
At this point I call her out. I said “Oi, you.” She immediately looked like she shit herself and ignored me. So I called her out again specifically “You in the purple top.”
She turned round and asked what I wanted. The following conversation happens:
Me; Do you want to fuck me?
Her: What?!
Me: I said do you want to fuck me?
Her: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Me: Well you keep staring at me, so I’m assuming you either want to fuck me or fight me, so which is it?
She went bright red, grabbed her boyfriends arm and went to the changing rooms. I carried on with my workout and didn’t see them again.
When I told my friend what happened, he said I acted like a dick and that as a woman I should know how much it sucks to be objectified in the gym. He also pointed out that I embarrassed her in front of everyone and ruined her and her bfs work out.
My defence is she should also know how much it sucks to make people make disparaging comments about you in the gym and that she shouldn’t talk shit if she doesn’t want called out on it.
I’ll admit that I’m a pretty confrontational person and I could have reacted better but I also think she should mind her own business.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) felt targeted and insulted by the negative comments made by another gym patron regarding her exercise focus and form. Her response was highly confrontational, escalating the situation by challenging the commenter directly with sexually suggestive and aggressive language.
The core debate is whether the OP’s aggressive verbal confrontation was a justified reaction to being mocked and disrespected, or if her method of retaliation was an overreaction that mirrored the poor behavior she initially experienced. Does confronting disrespectful behavior with extreme provocation excuse the initial offense?
Here’s how people reacted:
Since you were pretty full-on, that girl now has enough reason in her mind to shrug you off as crazy or rude and be mad at you, rather than realising how shitty she was being and actually growing as a person.
She doesn’t really deserve to be treated kindly given how she was being, but, you know. Try to lead by example, be the bigger person and all that.
Edit: also I’ve never heard of that exercise before, but I looked it up and the results for glute pushdowns look like what you described
” he said I acted like a dick and that as a woman I should know how much it sucks to be objectified in the gym” but… You’re the one who’s being objectified by this random girl? Nothing you did was objectifying her, she’s the one commenting on your ass multiple times
Granted, your reaction may have been a bit much, but I can understand why you felt the way you did.