Don’t trust pregnancy test. I know there’s people selling positive ones. It’s gross and disturbing.

Here’s the deal, even IF she is pregnant, there is nothing that forces you to be in a relationship with her. Tell her this that and Tell her you’ll have your attorney reach out to her for paternity test FROM A THIRD PARTY when she is due. You have no obligation to take care of her while she’s pregnant until the child is proven yours. Tell her If the test is positve, you and her can discuss child support because you don’t have any custody or time with the child or her. Be prepared, this will set her off. She’ll scream and cry and say you’re abandoning the baby and her and that she’ll either raise the baby herself or get an abortion. Tell her either way is fine but if she wants to raise the baby herself, you’ll have an attorney draft a paternity responsibility release form.
If she wants an abortion thats fine too.

If you calmly show her that no matter what game she plays, you’re not going to play it with her, you’ll corner her. Chances are once she’s completely cornered, she’ll say something like she had a miscarriage or lost the baby because of the stress or had an abortion and blame you. She might be the total crazy kind and threaten to kill herself and “your baby”. Tell her simply that’s her choice in life and you have no responsibility over her actions. You need to show her that you’re apathetic to her completely.

If you have shared friends, tell them in advance that you suspect her of baby trapping you and this is what you’re doing. Tell them she won’t go to the doctor or anything. Tell them all your evidence of doubt. If they tried to guilt you or some bs, they’re not your friends. They’re HERS and she can keep them. If not, then there’s really no skin off your back. Let her bitch and whine and make you the villain. As long as it gets her out of your life. Momentary pain is better than a life of misery.

you can be showing decent human being characteristics and telling her you will support her with the child raising. But you absolutely do not have to share your life with her. She will need to make a decision based on that.
You’re sort of a gambling here, cause she could be just lying to you just to get you back. So once she understands you’re not coming back into the relationship even if there’s a child involved she might back away. But she could genuinely be pregnant and gonna have a child, so you actually will need to become a daddy, even if unplanned.

I believe if you take the highest responsibility option in your mind you’re covered against disappointment and manipulation.

The timing is too convenient. Anything is possible, but this seems *really* unlikely. Tell her that if she’s serious about this, she needs to get prenatal care for the baby’s sake, and that you’ll go to the doctor with her. And whatever you do, do not sleep with her, do not be alone with her, and don’t sign anything. If it turns out that she really is pregnant (verified by a doctor), get a paternity test.

And regardless of the outcome, don’t let her or anybody else pressure you into getting back together with her. Being raised by miserable parents in a toxic environment is *not* in a child’s best interest. Sometimes co-parenting really is the better choice.

Tell her that you don’t believe her and until she gets a pregnancy test from a doctor with a DNA test, you don’t wish to hear from her. She could be pregnant with another persons baby. So until you have both pieces, stay away. If it turns out she is pregnant with your baby, then you can co-parent after the child is born. Use an attorney who can help to formalize the co-parent, support payments etc. Last thing – if she is pregnant but refuse to take a DNA test, get the attorney to demand one, as she may try to put your name on the birth certificate. In some states, this means you are the father even if not confirmed, so do speak to a lawyer.

Gonna take a lot of heat for this but hear me out… First you need to make sure she’s actually pregnant. Go visit a Doctor WITH HER and see for yourself. She sounds manipulative and will do anything to hold you hostage. If she actually is pregnant and you don’t want to live in hell for the rest of your life being attached to this woman follow along… Pretend like you care about the relationship but say it’s too early to have a baby and push for the abortion. The only way she will get the abortion is if she really believes you’re in it for the long haul so ACT YOUR ASS OFF. Once the abortion is finalized, GTFO and run for your life.

This sounds like a “ baby trap” situation to me. Get some serious legal advice, but DO NOT MARRY HER! If she as controlling as you say, this will only get much worse if you marry her. Men get verbally abused and gaslit by their female partners as much as women do from men. It’s just not as openly discussed. Tell her the truth, plain and simple. You don’t want a child with her, and you aren’t going to marry her. And then make sure you have a lawyer, in case she starts threatening to sue your butt off.

If you don’t want to marry her, then don’t. Also, insist on a paternity test. But let me reiterate; GET SOME LEGAL HELP!

Maybe try posting this in other subreddits to get access to more people, someone who has been in this situation may have better advice than me;

My automatic thought would be for her to get an abortion or if that is against your and her beliefs; co-parenting is a viable option. You don’t have to marry her or be with her just because she is carrying your child. You can be a supportive father but don’t have to be her partner, boyfriend or husband to have a child together. Good luck and hope someone with more experience can give more insight

I’d tell her you do not want to get married. If she chooses to keep the baby you will accept your financial responsibility and you will be a father to the child..but not a husband or a partner to her. You broke up for a reason. Falling back into a relationship will only extend the inevitable break up. Also, the doctor thing is extremely suspect. The first thing you do is go to a doctor. If she won’t go to a doctor and allow you to go with then I’d break off all contact as she’s obviously lying. NTA

Firstly, I HIGHLY doubt she is telling the truth. She needs to take a pregnancy test in your presence for you to entertain this any further.
Also, be clear that IF she gives birth to a child that is yours, you will do your duty to the child, but NOT be in a relationship with you.
I call this as a manipulation from her, the timing is just too perfect. Soon, she will tragically miscarry (also without ever seeing a doctor) and demand your emotional support. Don’t be gullible, get proof.

So this is absolutely a tactic to make you stay. I’d ask for a pregnancy test first and foremost and then figure out legal logistics from there.

You hit it raw and this is one of the consequences BUT you live in a world with options for you to fulfill your obligations without being tied down to someone for life, even if she is pregnant this does not mean you have to stay with her. But without an actual blood test there is no way to determine if she even is pregnant to begin with.

NTA. You don’t have to marry her (also get a dna test if she keeps the baby!!!).

If she doesn’t want to raise the baby in separate households; that’s fine. She can put the baby up for adoption or abort. Or, she can concede to separate houses.

You should not marry someone who is toxic for you. But you should be there in the sense of providing for the child and being in the child’s life.

If she chooses to abort, for goodness sakes, use a damn condom from here on out!

Sorry to play devils advocate but unless she has done a PT when you’re around, it may be a last ditch attempt to get you back.
Be honest.
Tell her you will support her decision re: what she
does about the pregnancy, but you won’t be forced back into a relationship, that doesn’t make you happy.
Babies never make bad relationships better and if you go back to her, you will resent her in the long run and have compromised your own life goals, friends and future.

Do not sleep with her again. If she’s not actually pregnant her plan may be to become pregnant, so don’t give her that opportunity.

Make it clear that you are not interested in a relationship beyond coparenting with her once the baby arrives. Then you just have to wait and see if she’s really pregnant. Get a paternity test if/when baby arrives and be smarter in the future.

NTA> Be honest and tell her that there will NEVER be a marriage. You can pay child support if she decides to keep it but it sounds like an abortion would be best. I would definitely get a paternity test too! If she is the controller you claim she is, this may all be fake or it may be someone else’s kid. Very convenient that she ended up preggo after you dumped her.

Stop acting like it is okay. Tell her how you feel, and that if she is pregnant, she should consider termination. Why? You will not be pressured into marrying her, and only co-parentibg is on the table. You will bot change your mind on this.

As others have said, make an appointment at a clinic to get a pregnancy test done to confirm if this is not a game in her part.

Sounds like she’s faking it tbh buddy.
Going to a Dr would confirm a pregnancy if she is, and she also has to start going to begin her prenatal care any damn ways. Keep calm and remain as emotionally unbothered as you can. If she IS pregnant, you can support her emotionally and be there for appointments and when that baby came I’d get a DNA test. Just my 2cents.

It seems really convenient she’s suddenly pregnant. This could just be another controlling manipulative plot. Don’t get back together. Make plans to co parent, tell her you want 50/50 custody. Stand firm, and please don’t sleep with her again. G ch or your sake I hope she’s lying. But remember, you have just as many rights to your child as she does

1.: I’m honestly doubting that she’s pregnant.. Sounds like manipulation to try and force you back into a relationship

2.: get proof of pregnancy from a doctor

3.: if she is, then abortion seems like the best option

4.: if she insists on keeping it, then make sure you demand a paternity test

5.: no proof of paternity = no monetary support

1. You can be there for her – not being with her ( tell her)

2. You do not have to move in together or get married ( tell her)

Tell her that you do not want to be with her, marry her etc.

Her body her choice.. so if she does not want to raise a child on her own. Well .. she needs to make a choice.

But you can as a friend help her along

Her saying won’t go to the doctor is very telling!

Tell her to call you once she has a doctor’s appointment scheduled and you will meet her there. This is most likely a manipulation tactic to pull you back into the relationship. After she has her claws back into you, she will most likely have a “miscarriage”.

Your reaction is better than my current bf who acted like a child and freaked out when I realized I couldn’t go through with abortion.. even though I thought I could.

She’s definitely trying to trap you. This happened to an ex of mine. No Drs appointment, no real pregnancy. Don’t take her back.

Does she support abortion?

yes.

Reply if you can kill I can leave em. But we should definitely kill this one.

Or

No. Have you ever thought about supporting it? You know the whole walk a mile in someone else shoes thing. Who knows you might be able to make a new friend after this.

Yeah from what you said about her refusing to go to the doctors … shes not pregnant

She’s probably hoping you’ll get back with her, have unprotected sex and get her pregnant for real. Or she’ll fake a miscarriage.

Stay broken up and let time tell.

I found out I was pregnant after my ex and I broke up. Almost 7 years later we are good friends who co-parent to ensure our child is healthy and happy. It’s possible, and you shave to be with her to be part of your child’s life. Good luck.

She refuses to go to a doctor? I’d call her bluff. Let her know you have zero interest in a relationship with her. Tell her you want to go with her to her first appt to confirm she is pregnant. Go from there.

You don’t have to be with her. Tell her that you will provide emotional support, but you aren’t getting back together, and you require a paternity test before your name is going on a birth certificate.

Do not marry. My guess is she will “miscarry” as soon as you come back. If not, and she is pregnant then you have responsibilities but not a legal obligation to marry her.

Talk to another adult human off reddit for the love of god, you do realise there are 11 year olds here? but don’t do a thing rn. Find out for sure she’s pregnant etc.

Get her counselling and encourage a termination – be clear you don’t want this pregnancy and that you don’t want a single mother life for her either

Wear condoms !

It isn’t up to her alone whether you coparent from different houses.

Her choices is keep the baby or don’t. Both of you have to decide to be together.

Buy a pregnancy test and ask her to use it with you there. If she says no, then you tell her that you will see her whenever a DNA t a st can be done.

Pregnant or not, she’s manipulative and abusive. Support your kid (if true), but fuck her…actually check that, tell her to go fuck herself 🤷‍♀️

She may be trying to baby trap you, especially given the fact that she told you she’s pregnant after you broke up and that she’s controlling.

Pretty sure you can get positive preg photos anywhere… is she pregnant? Is it yours?

You said she’s controlling.

Red flag red flag

NTA. And I’m seriously hoping the pregnancy tests were faked for OP’s sake. Because that woman is an ocean of red flags.

just because she’s pregnant does not mean you are obligated to be with her and be her partner.

Don’t sign the birth certificate without a DNA test

This is a common scam used by desperate people.

Grow a pair and just co-parent