Yet, in the shadow of conflict, a glimmer of resolution emerged. The lost wallet found its way back, a silent reminder that even fractured friendships can find moments of grace. Through the turmoil, gratitude surfaced, and the harsh words gave way to reflection—a testament to the complexity of human connection and the fragile threads that hold us together.
So I left my wallet in my best friend’s car over the weekend. Every time we set a time to meet she cancels, changes the time, or has an excuse as to why she can’t meet for me to get my wallet.
I offered to go to her house..:but she’s “never” home. So I told her I’m just going to have my debit card, and the other cards I have in my car wallet canceled and/or reported as stolen.
She flipped her shit and told me I’m a bitch and an asshole for doing that and that it shows how bad of a friend I am for not trusting her, and how I’m bullying her by treating her like a theft and criminal.
Hey all, I wasn’t expecting such an overwhelming response. The wallet has been returned, it was left with the security guard at the entrance gate where I live.
But thank you to everyone who took time to respond and give advice and their opinions on this situation. It was greatly appreciated.
In regards to the cards, and as to why I canceled them was because with my bank you get same day replacements.
The friendship has been ended it was a mutual agreement. I should have been more mindful of her red flags, and I should have taken into account that she was never really a friend and was more so using me.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) experienced significant frustration and mistrust due to their best friend’s repeated cancellations and excuses preventing the return of a lost wallet. The OP’s decisive action of threatening to cancel the cards directly clashed with the friend’s reaction, who perceived this measure as an extreme lack of trust and personal accusation rather than a practical solution.
Was the OP justified in escalating the situation by threatening to cancel the cards to protect their finances, even if it provoked an extreme negative reaction from the friend, or should the OP have pursued less confrontational means of recovery given the existing friendship dynamics?
Here’s how people reacted:
Since she’s been avoiding you, canceling your cards as lost or stolen will let you get new ones faster than your “friend” seems willing to do.
Doing this should not matter to your “friend” unless something shady is going on. On each call to cancel, ask if any transactions have been done since \[the date you lost it\]. If so, you can dispute them as fraudulent immediately.
Your “friend”‘s over the top reaction *should* make you suspicious. Even if none of the cards have been used, she had full access to enough information to mail order at a later date using your cards’ contents.
If my friend got so bent out of shape that I was canceling my debit card that was in their possession and pulled this shit, I’d be wondering what their motive was. Add to all this her reluctance in meeting up with you to retrieve your wallet and its contents. The math isn’t adding up.
Ask her – was she maybe overreacting to the word “stolen”? Reporting the cards as lost instead of stolen would have been a better option.
WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?!?
/S
NTA- She is telling you, without telling you EXACTLY WHO SHE IS, and what she is prone to do.
Cancel those cards and check those accounts quickly and have any and all transactions reversed and reported as fraudulent.
your friend is toxic, be careful.
this has nothing to do with her possibly using or thinking of using your cards
she basically paralysed you and passively controlled you. either consciously or not be very very careful. this kind of people drain your energy and attention
If I had a friend react like this my first assumption would be they’re trying to steal from me.