In the midst of vows and happiness, an unexpected proposal from a broken past tore through the day’s magic, leaving wounds that ran deep. The pain of stolen moments and broken promises cast a long shadow, forcing both sisters to confront the fragile ties that bind and the cost of dreams deferred.
Me (28) and my sister (32) have never really gotten along that well. My parents were divorced and so we never really spent much time together during our childhood. Once we got in our early twenty though that changed and we actually got pretty close.
Both of us were in serious relationships and we would always talk about our dream weddings.
Fast forward a few years and my sister was finally getting married to her high school sweetheart, Ive never seen her so happy and I knew this was going to be one of her most cherished moments in life.
That was until my dumbass of an ex boyfriend proposed to me at my sisters wedding. Needless to say I had absolutely no idea. I rejected his proposal and ended up leaving him after a few weeks of him showing no signs of him being sorry at all.
My sister was rightfully upset with the both of us because in her eyes we had just took away her spotlight on a day she’s been dreaming of for years. I felt so bad that I ended up giving her around half of what she paid for the wedding, a little much I know but when you have your whole family against you, you’ll do anything for things to go back to normal.
It took a couple months but our bond came back and I ended up meeting my now fiancé. Our wedding is in a couple weeks and my sister has been making jokes about announcing her pregnancy at my wedding.
At first the jokes were funny and I thought they had no real threat to them but after today it was pretty clear she was not actually joking. My mom called me telling me that my sister said she was going to announce that she was pregnant during the speeches part of our wedding to get back at me for what “I” did during hers.
I texted my sister saying that it was completely unfair to not just me but especially to my fiancé and neither of us were to blame for what ex did. She won’t hear me out and I told her if she won’t drop it then she won’t be allowed at my wedding.
I guess she’s been crying to all our brothers saying i’m a bitch and a shitty sister for not only ruining her wedding but for not letting her get a tiny bit of revenge.
I get it, it must be hard to have that happen at your wedding but how should it be my fault? I didn’t tell him to do and my now fiancé definitely didn’t either. My dad and brothers said I was being petty and that it was only fair I let her do that considering what happened at hers.
My fiancé is on my side though and thinks it best I don’t let her come or at least not come to the reception. I know it might seem a bit unfair for me to not let her get back at me but I didn’t pay the 15k pity money just for her to try to ruin my wedding years later.
We are both adults and at this point I think I could be being overdramatic. A pregnancy announcement and a proposal are two very different things but I won’t lie and say it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if she did do that to me.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is caught in a cycle of past conflict stemming from an ex-partner’s disruptive proposal at the sister’s wedding. While the OP made amends financially, the sister now seeks to recreate a moment of distraction at the OP’s upcoming wedding by announcing a pregnancy during the speeches. The OP feels this retaliation is unfair, especially toward their fiancé, leading to the ultimatum of disinviting the sister.
Is the OP justified in barring their sister from the wedding to protect their own significant event, or is accommodating the sister’s desire for ‘revenge’ a necessary step to achieve lasting familial peace, even if it means accepting another disruption?
Here’s how people reacted:
WTF. You paid for half the wedding. You paid your penance, did your time, you owe her nothing further. If she would only accept “ruining” your wedding as penance, then she shouldn’t have accepted the money. She can’t now go back on said agreement.
If she would like to *return* the 15K prior to the wedding date, *then* we’re having a conversation. You also have the gift of knowing it’s coming beforehand. You can be the one to announce that your sister has a big announcement that you’re so excited for everyone to hear. Imagine how amazing and selfless you’d look to all the guests.
I don’t think someone announcing they’re pregnant at the wedding “ruins” a wedding. I think all of these things are in poor taste, but people are SO overdramatic about it.
The only other issue I see here is your fiance. It’s HIS wedding, too. She wants to “ruin” this man’s wedding when he had NOTHING to do with it? I guess she also wants to be viewed by his family and likely other guests as an AH. Guess she’s fine with that?
This is all super petty BS and it’s going to cause problems going forward in the family. Is it really worth it to her just to be petty? If so, she doesn’t sound like someone I’d even WANT at my wedding in the first place.
If anyone is a shitty sister here it is her. Spoiling your wedding would be a deliberately selfish act and won’t change what happened at hers.
But really NTA and I don’t have any good advice. Maybe tell your sister that her being pregnant deserves her own spotlight and it would be wrong for her to have to share the spotlight with you again.
You did not propose at her wedding. It was not your fault you were proposed to at her wedding and you turned the guy down and broke up with him. You then paid for a chunk of the wedding! It was in no way your fault and she should not be mad at you for something you had no control over.
Maybe you should announce you’re pregnant at her baby shower? /s
Turn about is fair play. I find it trashy to announce these sorts of things at anyone’s wedding.