That moment of confusion became a tradition, a lighthearted prank that carried on through weddings and celebrations, testing patience and sparking playful arguments. It’s a tale of family bonds, where humor intertwines with love, and even the smallest misunderstandings become treasured memories that bring everyone closer together.
Several years ago my grandparents had a 50th anniversary party. It was set up kinda like a wedding reception so we had a choice for the meal, the options were 2 different German foods and steak.
I was like 16 so I chose steak.
Then at the actual event someone couldn’t come and orders were mixed up and I ended up with a pickle wrapped in meat. Everyone insisted that was what I picked. So I tried it, but then gave it to my dad because I didn’t like it.
Later they realized that I ended up with the person that couldn’t comes food. No big deal.
Well since then this has become a joke with my family. They’ve done it 2-3 times since, whenever there’s a wedding/event with food selections. When my grandma was alive she yelled at my dad for it since he’s the instigator.
I’m not sure if he’s doing it to get 2 meals or to be annoying, make me mad or what the deal is.
My cousin got married Saturday, a few weeks ago they sent out cards to pick our meal. They sent all of ours (Dad’s, mine, sisters) to my dad’s house, with one return envelope. The options were steak, chicken, or stuffed portobello mushrooms.
I selected steak, and specifically told my dad to “just let me have a damn steak instead of messing with it”. He said “I won’t write anything on your card”.
Then fast forward to Saturday, everything is going well, wedding is nice. We sit down to dinner and they give me mushroom stuffed with vegetarian pilaf. I said “there must be a mistake I selected the beef”.
Server said that the star on my place card meant I ordered vegetarian.
I looked at my dad and he laughed and said “I called Natalie after we sent our cards and told her you became a vegetarian and wanted to change your choice”. My sister was there and said “dad don’t you think that’s getting old”.
I said “you said you wouldn’t mess with it” he said “No I said I wouldn’t write on your card, I didn’t. I called her, now you have to eat mushrooms ha ha “. I said “no I don’t”. Some time passed and my dad said “seriously you’re not even going to try it?
They’rejust mushrooms they won’t hurt you” I shook my head. I hate mushrooms and I’m sick of this joke.
I sat there til other people started getting up, then I got up and went by the bar and had a beer, and avoided my dad til I left.
My sister later said that I should have at least tried a little, it was kinda rude to just leave a whole plate of food sitting there. She said I could have had some of the rice stuff, but for all I know there were mushrooms in the pilaf too.
Honestly this makes me not want to go to anymore family events with a meal.
AITA for not eating any of my food during the wedding.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) experienced repeated frustration due to a long-running family joke orchestrated primarily by their father, involving intentionally sabotaging their pre-selected meal choices at formal events. This culminated in the OP being served an unwanted vegetarian dish at a wedding after their father falsely claimed they had changed their diet, leading the OP to refuse the meal and leave the table.
Was the OP justified in refusing to eat the meal and leaving the table to avoid the situation, or did this reaction constitute an overreaction that was rude to the host and the effort put into the event planning? Readers must weigh the need for personal boundaries against the social expectations of family gatherings.
Here’s how people reacted:
Two suggestions:
1. If it happens again, chuckle and say, “Nice joke” and grab his plate. If he makes a fuss, you can say, “You know I wanted the steak and since you had no problem with (order), you can have that.” Keep doing this until he stops.
or
2. Reach out to the family members running the event and make sure you have your
order. Heck even use social media or do a CC email and say “Hey \_\_\_\_\_\_, I want to confirm that I want xyz. Please let me know if there’s an update so I could decide my second option. Thank you.”
NTA
This really calls for some sort of revenge. Taking his food for yours. Changing his order. I don’t know. He’s really being an AH and really needs some comeuppance. I’ve got no advice for you other than stop going to dinners with your father. If he complains make it clear that HE and no one else is responsible.
1) have a meal with me to pull out and eat
Or
2) pull out my phone and blatantly order a pizza
And I wouldn’t care what anybody else said. OP, you are NTA!
Your father is a bully.
Tell him hope he enjoys mushrooms because when his time comes he’ll make sure the nursing home only gives him that for his meals.
I would of rang the person and told them no I want steak I HATE mushrooms
NTA. I ask, because if he wanted the mushrooms so badly, he could/should swap his meal with yours.