AITAH for not giving $25 to someone I’ve been talking to for 4 days?

In just four days, a fragile connection began to form between a hopeful woman and a charming man in uniform. She was drawn to his kindness and the promise of something real, yet beneath the surface, a harsh reality was unfolding—his repeated pleas for money were testing the boundaries of trust and exposing the vulnerability of her own financial struggles.

Despite her own hardships, she stood firm, refusing to be swept away by empty promises and quick fixes. In a world where desperation and deception often intertwine, she chose caution over compassion, knowing that true support cannot be measured in borrowed dollars but in genuine understanding and respect.

AITAH for not giving $25 to someone I've been talking to for 4 days?

I (30F) have been talking to this man (40m) for 4 days. He’s military, seems really nice, very handsome, etc. On day 2 of us talking, he asks me for $25 so he can get some fast food.

I tell him that 1) I don’t just give out money to people and 2) I currently have a negative balance in my account. I can’t even get gas to fill up my car. I am traveling to work on a quarter tank and a prayer until payday.

He says it’s not a problem. I’m like okay, that’s the end of it.

Today, he messages me saying he’s had a bad day. When I ask why, he said it’s because he hasn’t eaten and can I give him $25 for fast food. He says that he swears he’ll pay me back when he gets paid and that even $10 would be enough for him to get something.

Again, I tell him that I’m not just gonna give him money. It’s nothing against him, I just don’t know him.

He says that we have been talking for a little over 4 days, and yet I’m still saying I don’t know him, and he’s only asking for $25. Then he says he “understands and it was nice meeting me”.

In my opinion, talking to me and showing interest in me doesn’t entitle you to my money. Especially after ONLY 4 DAYS! So, AITAH?

Here’s how people reacted:

theater_mama64

In answer to your question, no you are NOT TAH and you dodged a major bullet. How did you meet him, online or a chat channel? Did he find you and send a I think you are beautiful yada yada yada post let’s be friends with a picture of him in uniform? Those are not even real people. The military feeds them if he is active duty. The money ask is checking to see how gullible you are. Good for you not taking the bait. If you met him in person, good to get away from that type of person as well. You should not be anyone’s personal atm.

Money-Snow-2749

Pretty sure that person is not even in a military base abroad let alone in the states. That $25 would have turned to $100 and then even more. The stories would get crazier and more tragic. In short I’m pretty Shute that was an African scammer testing the waters to see how much money they can get from you. You did the right thing blocking them. Although if you wanted to get rid of them faster tell them that you won’t give them any funds unless they video chat you with a full body.

chirpchirp13

I didn’t serve myself but did a lot of contract work for DLA and have spent a ton of time on various bases. Army and AF at least, feed their people quite well. Going hungry is not something I’ve heard any enlisted person grumble about. And I’ve heard some grumbling. And at 40 in the military; I’d think maybe this person would have a situation that’s a tad better than not having money to eat. I know circumstances can be a bitch sometimes but this sounds off.

BlueEclipse511

Looks like the trash took itself out. NTA. Such audacity. Like I get being short and needing cash, but I would have asked someone I knew if I was desperate or something (who knows, right? Shit like that can happen in this economy). Plus, instant ramen is a thing and cheap as hell. I would have searched my car for change to get that before asking for money from anyone.

Playful-Base-1896

he wasn’t military. military can eat in the chow hall. they charge them now but still they eat. or if he really was military he was scamming you. i still think you were catfished. you need to find a guy that can take care of you not someone that has zero dollars. and payday is the first and fifteenth of each month so if he is broke he is a clown you don’t want anyway

louse_yer_pints

Honestly, I only read like the first line and the headline which is enough. You gave someone you just met who says they are in the military money. Male relationship scams usually say they are in the military. Makes them sound responsible and they can be elusive because they say they move around a lot.

Own_Lifeguard_8860

Definite scam, I usually ask them to post a picture of themselves with a handwritten sign saying “my name(fake name), the date). Im a guy so I usually get naked pictures from these scammers. If they send what I ask for, I show it to my friends and tell em I tapped her 😆 🤣

NeedingInspo101

These ‘military’ types who stalk women and display handsome profile pics, are often from a west african country using a fake profile.
Ive been approached by several and if you check out their friends (if accessible) you will often find they are rather dubious.

MutedCountry2835

Block. Dont look back. You been talking for 4 days. And now you are the difference between life and starving to death.
And he is really faithful to you it seems. Not a single other Online match to keep from shriveling up and conking out.

Virtual-Method-6794

“Im in the military and im stuck in an oil refinery on the ocean in Poland Country , Can you please send me $25,000 of gift cards and as soon as I receive my $6.0million they owe me ill pay you back , Please my princess !!””

fatalcharm

NTA he just proved that he is dating women for money. “I understand, it was nice meeting you” -if he was interested in anything beyond money he would stick around to get to know you better, even if you won’t give him money.

Nelyahin

Not the asshole. Seriously – scam artists do this all the time. You don’t owe him, or anyone, anything. Especially after 4 days and never having met him.

empiricalreddit

Likely a scam. But if this guy is not a scammer why would you waste your time on someone asking for money so early in relationship

Ok-Cap-204

Uh, the military feeds their soldiers. He is lying. Have you met him in person? This sounds like a playbook for a scammer.

fanstoyou

If this story is true, it’s easy to see where this will go – you will become a cash cow. Avoid this type of people?

Maestro-xl

Sounds like he is a junky or any other addiction. You are one of many. Don’t give him money and stay away from him.

ohlookitsGary

I’m confused. Are you asking us if you’re an asshole or telling us you’re not?

May I suggest r/mildlyinfuriating?

Obnoxious_Box

NTA good thing you blocked him. Imagine how much he’d be asking for after a few weeks or months of talking! 😆

amyehawthorne

NTA, you just have enough sense to catch on to a leech before he can leech into you – good instincts

RepulsiveProgram184

how did you meet him
what were the conversations in the last 4 days about

rokumonshi

Did he ask for apple and steam cards?
It will get worse. Just block them

fwb325

I call BS. If he’s military he has ways to eat. This is a scammer.

rhino0199rdr

Military people have access to the chow hall.. scam. Cut and run!

No_Newspaper_9686

NTA it’s really a shame people still fall for these scams though

cmeremoonpi

The military is releasing me but won’t pay for my flight home…

Moldovah

Bro, a 40yo that don’t have $25 to his name?

What’s the point?

Temperance_Lee

Honey, go listen to a song called No Scrubs. It’ll change you.

Kittying_Around

He can go to the mess hall and get food there, for free….

sonofanger

This must be that equality everyone talks about 😂

mtinmd

If he’s military, he can go eat on base.

GeezUp777

Dont be a fool and send any money. Duh.

ManifestLottoWinner

This is the start of a love scam lol

Impossible-Still-766

Men like this are jokes. BLOCK

Conclusion

The original poster is facing a conflict where their clear personal boundary against lending money to new acquaintances clashed with the man’s persistent request, escalating after only four days of communication.

Was the original poster justified in refusing financial help to someone they recently met, or did the request for a small amount of money constitute a reasonable test of support in a nascent relationship?