As the evening unfolded, the young man stepped out into the night, caught between the excitement of acceptance and the sting of past rejection. This moment, charged with vulnerability and the complexities of growing up, revealed how fragile and unpredictable the dance of relationships can be when old feelings resurface under new circumstances.
I am a 19 year old man and the people calling me an asshole are 18 year old men and women.
On Thursday, a person I had a major crush on in high school (but who rejected me) messaged me out of the blue. She had never contacted me without my contacting her first, and at one point I realized she had had me blocked on social media, and so I found it odd that she was suddenly being friendly.
After sending a couple of greetings/questions about how I’ve been, she said that she was going to have some people over and wanted to know if I would get the beer. The drinking age where we are is 19, and she and the people who were going to chill were all 18.
The liquor stores in my area all card.
I thought it was silly that my being a month older meant I could buy liquor and they couldn’t, and so I said I would love to go. She said “thanks, I’ll pick you up at seven!”
7 o’clock rolled around, and she texted me to say she was in front of my house. I went out dressed and ready to chill with some people, and she drove me to the liquor store. When we got there, I asked what beer she wanted me to get, and she told me to get Budweiser.
I hid my disappointment as well as I could, but it was her party so I went in and bought two cases of 24.
I got back in the car and said “let’s party,” and she was eerily quiet. I noticed that she wasn’t driving towards her neighborhood, but rather back towards mine. I thought she had moved or something, but didn’t want to press the issue.
When she turned down my street I finally figured it out. She was being purposefully vague about the invitation because she wanted me to get the beer, but she wanted a way out when she told me I wasn’t actually invited in the first place.
She stopped in front of my house, leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, and said “thanks!” in her best voice. I deadpanned her and asked when she was going to tell me I wasn’t invited.
She feigned surprise and said that she never intended to invite me in the first place. I sat in silence for a long awkward minute, picked up the beer, and walked towards my front door.
She got out of her car and frantically tried to reinvite me to the party, but I told her that what she did was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me. I opened my front door, slammed it a bit too hard, and came back to my room.
Now I’m sitting here drinking absolutely unpalatable piss water, and I have text messages from all of her friends and her asking me why I’m being such a dick. I don’t think I’m the asshole for reacting the way I did, but if you haven’t figured it out I’m not amazing socially so I’m not sure.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) experienced a deeply humiliating situation where a former crush manipulated him into illegally purchasing alcohol for her party, only to reveal he was not invited. His reaction was one of intense emotional hurt and anger, leading him to reject her subsequent attempt to apologize and re-invite him. The central conflict lies between the OP’s feeling of betrayal and the expectation from the crush and her friends that he should overlook the manipulation simply because he fulfilled the task (buying the beer).
Was the OP’s dramatic reaction justified given the deliberate emotional manipulation used by the crush, or did his refusal to accept the later invitation constitute an overreaction to a prank gone wrong? Should the focus be on the act of manipulation or the OP’s subsequent dismissal of the group?
Here’s how people reacted:
To be completely honest it kinda sounds like you weren’t actually invited, she just asked if you would get her beer for the night. That being said, it’s definitely an AH move for her to reach out to you after a long period of time, seemingly out of the blue just to ask you to break the law for her And to not even invite you to the party after??
From my understanding, you bought the beer with your own money so you’re absolutely not in the wrong for taking it with you once you realized you weren’t being invited to the party. You didn’t yell at her, call her names or do anything rude, just took your beer and left. I actually don’t think you could have handled this better than you did. If there was a stronger judgment than NTA, I’d give it to you!
As the night will go on they will find someone else to get drinks, then they will berate you because you ditched them. So don’t respond to any of it and your victory will be in denying them the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of you.
>After sending a couple of greetings/questions about how I’ve been, she said that she was going to have some people over and wanted to know if I would get the beer.
Based on what you said this woman never invited you to her party, she just asked you to buy the beer. I’m not going to say she wasn’t rude to ask or not make her intentions clearer, but most people aren’t super good with handling these situations at 18.
How did she expect this to go?
You’d happily go buy her beer, then take it to the party, then leave, without partying or drinking your beer?
They have to all be a bit cracked in the head if they believe that was ever going to work.
I’d take a snapchat of me pouring that down a toilet before I ever gave it to them.
Im so sorry this happened to you. I hope you can move past what a nasty piece of work this girl (not woman) is.
EDIT: or just ignore the IF I wrote and accuse me of assuming he isn’t socially distancing, that also works
Call up some friends and play a drinking game, maybe call it a mexi beach party and throw together tacos and make some cheladas with that beer so it’s more palatable (or any other beer cocktail)..
NTA and high five to you for taking the beer. (Sorry it’s Budweiser though… Maybe try to return the unopened case?)