NTA –

I remember when I lost my first pregnancy. My body was not even doing what it was supposed to do and I had to have a procedure to remove it. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I just wanted to grieve in my own way and my mother made it all about her, how not telling people robbed her of the chance for people to comfort her.

That was the last time I spoke to her. Thankfully she is dead now.

No one deserves this. I am so sorry that your own family made you feel this way. You handled it like an adult, you didn’t make a scene, you didn’t freak out – you just removed yourself. You don’t need to follow my example (believe me this was still the best thing my mother did to me – she was a monster), but perhaps it is time to distance yourself a while. Most people don’t understand how hard it is to loose a life that is growing inside you.

I wish you well – please take care of yourself.

NTA Yeah that’s bad. Using your sister’s pregnancy and celebration to remind everyone your wanted baby died, and wording it in a way that made it seem like they were robbed was cruel. Even if they said it behind your back and not to your face it would still have been cruel. It is not difficult to celebrate the new baby without highlighting your loss.

Removing yourself from a situation that caused you pain before you were pushed into a reaction that would have caused drama is a mature and responsible way to deal with something. Don’t let them convince you otherwise. They are just pissed that you having any reaction at all forces them to realize what he said was wrong.

Why is it always so much easier for people to say you’re being dramatic than to say “I’m sorry I hurt you”?

So sorry about your loss and your shitty family.

Time to go no contact with him. Explain to them that hopefully, you’ll find a family, especially parents, who actually love and support you. Not minimize your pain.

You know, somebody who actually acts like real parents. Then block them everywhere.

This is coming to you from somebody who had a stillborn child when she was six months pregnant. If anyone of my family had ever made a comment like that… And nobody would have…

But if they had, I would be no contact with them still today. And I would make sure the rest of my family knew that if they invited me to anything that those people were at, I would be no contact with them as well.

And just for a reference, I just heard 65. I lost my son when I was 26. And I’m serious when I tell you, we would still be no contact today.

NTA

Your father’s a moron. Your dad made it awkward. Who says something like that at a dinner with guests, no less?

It’s OK to be hurt when someone says something so emotionally thoughtless.

You weren’t upset about your sisters happiness. You were celebrating her. Your idiot father made it about you when he said that.

Don’t let others minimize your hurt. Their father didn’t gut punch them in front of family. Tell your dad that even if he didn’t mean it the way it came out, it was still an ignorant thing to say.

I’m sorry for your loss. I hope your future is filled with happier memories.

NTA
Your Dad is a prick. That was rude, insensitive and just down right shitty. Don’t walk away, run. These are not people you need in your life. No one should ever make light of a loss like that. Ever. It is simply unforgivable. And for him to make it sound like it was your fault? Dick move. I’m so incredibly sorry. That you have a horrible family and most especially for your loss. I hope that if you decide to try again you are spectacularly successful and they can eat their words. 🩷

To quietly get up and leave is about the *least* awkward way you could have handled this. You could have said choice words before leaving, drawing more attention to the hurtful thing your dad said and the laughter that followed. Your dad and the rest of your family are way out of line. What, does he feel robbed of a grandchild, as if you wanted it this way?? Because the way he said what he did implies that.
NTA – and you don’t owe them an explanation.

NTA. But also I think it was a toast to your sister, without having you on their minds, so, talk about this. But also remember that your sister and her baby deserve to be celebrated and not muted.

Talk with your family, talk about grief and also talk to someone that knows how to help you. Because the world will move on and there will be other millestones in this pregnancy and this baby that may trigger you.

NTA – what your father said was a horrible comment!

And, it’s absolutely ok to not be ok with shockingly hurtful comments.

Consider how often things like this happen and if you’re often told that you’re somehow overreacting or making things about yourself as those are commonly lobbed at scapegoats in dysfunctional family systems.

FWIW, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through and wishing you healing, OP.

YTA. Your dad just made a statement of good wishes to your sister. That’s it. Nothing more. You are too sensitive and did make it about yourself. No one picked you out, eyeballed you, or indicated anything, but you decided it was about you. Grow a thicker skin. Shitty things in life happen but we rise above them and move forward. If you can’t on your own, then maybe speak to a professional.

NTA, at all. If that was a joke, than your Dad is a cruel, cruel man. I can only hope that he just didn’t realize the actual depth of those words and how hurtful they were. “finally a grandchild we can hold” was a direct statement to your miscarriage. I truly hope everyone sees how hurtful those words were and apologizes to you.

Honestly? It really depends. If your pro abortion it was just a clump of cells with no value as a human life. A parasite that held no worth at all. If you’re pro life that was your unborn child and just as valuable as any baby on this side of the birth canal, and his indecency knows no bounds.

NTA. jesus fucking christ. “a grandchild we can hold” thats beyond horrid. thats fucking crass beyond belief. your parents are both shitheads. your dad for making the remark and your mom for being so dismissive. like there is meant to be a timeline for your grief? screw all that.

NTA. You did not overreact. It was not a joke. Joking about a miscarriage is disgusting and insensitive. That was a dig at you when the moment was supposed to be about your sister. Your father made that moment about you instead. I wouldn’t talk to any of them

Omg! NTA Your family are disgusting!! How dare they say YOU made it weird. Oh honey, go NC/LC for your mental health! THEY made it weird! Nobody stood up for you and let your dad inflict horrific pain on you! I am so sorry you have such an awful family!

NTA. Your dad was a tool. You were perfectly justified in excusing yourself and leaving.

I honestly don’t understand celebrating someone getting pregnant. A baby shower to prepare for the impending birth, sure. But just that she’s pregnant?

Did anyone audibly gasp when he said that ? Because I would have. And I would have left right along with you. NTA and tell them all that you’ll admit to being too sensitive, right after they explain how that comment was funny.

Wtf is wrong with your dad? Your dad was the biggest asshole here followed by every person reaching out to you and saying you overreacted. You had a freaking miscarriage for crying out loud, your family needs to get a clue.

INFO: Has your father always been this clueless? That is an extremely weird way to refer to a miscarriage. I almost wonder if its the beginning of dementia. Whatever it was, I’m glad you chose to leave, definitely NTAH

NTA but your Dad is for making that appalling comment as it the family that laughed and then had a go at you for leaving. I am fuming on your behalf. Has he always been a heartless arsehole? Time to go LC for a bit.

it’s completely valid if u choose to step away. sometimes, seemingly small comments can carry a lot of weight when you’re healing. you’re definitely not wrong for prioritizing your own emotional well being

Definitely NTA, I’m sorry for what you had to go through, I can’t even imagine how much pain it has caused you. What your father said was an unnecessary and insensitive comment.

It’s only harmless if everyone is laughing. You weren’t. That was a cruel comment I think your sister may have realized that. Go no contact for a bit to deal with your grief.

NTA. Your dad and the rest of the family that made excuses for him are insensitive pricks. You might want to limit time spent with them because talks like this will continue.

NTA. That was cruel and insensitive and the fact that everyone laughed just made it so much worse. Well done e for protecting yourself and leaving.

They knew you were struggling and that comment was like a punch. Tell them how hurt you were by it and go NC for a bit, let them worry.

NTA: People are doing path of least resistance. They think they can make you forgive easier than they can get your dad to apologize.

NTA but your father certainly is. Make sure to bring up one of dad’s sensitive subjects at the next family gathering

Nta. I don’t see how that could not have been directed toward you? Is your dad always such a prick?

Faaake. Third miscarriage post in the last few days. “Everyone keeps texting you”? Please.

It was a terrible stupid thing for your father to say. He shouldn’t drink anymore.

NTA. The level of cruelty is galling!!!

I’m so sorry, OP. 🫂

What kind of monster cracks a joke about a miscarriage?

NTA

Wtaf.

That was callous. Plain and simple.

NTA “finally a grandchild we can hold” dude ☠️

NTA, your father should sit on a cactur

He is so rude and out of line!!!! OMG