But just as she begins to find a semblance of peace, a new threat emerges in the form of her ex’s young girlfriend, whose insecurities and jealousy cast a shadow over these fragile ties. What once was a quiet, supportive connection now teeters on the edge of conflict, forcing her to confront not only her past mistakes but the harsh realities of moving forward in a world that refuses to forget.
So I’m divorced. I will freely admit that I’m most at fault for the divorce. I never should have been married but hindsight is 20/20 as they say. My own family is a shit show and a half.
I’ve known my ex’s family for the majority of my life. When we split up, some of his family has kept in contact with me, including his mom and one of his sisters. It’s nothing crazy, but we grab a drink from time to time and his mom just checks in to see how I’m doing.
Knowing how my family is, she worries about me even though I tell her not to. We split a few years ago and the divorce was final more than a year and a half ago. Despite me being the asshole in my marriage, my ex doesn’t have any crazy bitterness and we have a decent relationship now.
In the years since we split, he’s never had an issue with his family staying in contact with me. I know for sure because I’ve asked.
Enter new GF. They’ve been together for 6 months or so. She’s 27 and he’s sneaking up on 40. Not that big of a deal, but she’s not a fan of the fact that he’s been married before. (Actually I’m the second ex wife).
As they’ve gotten more serious, she’s taken extreme exception to the fact that his mom and sister in particular still keep in contact with me. I was petty and laughed my ass off the first time she came at me about it all.
Privately I talked with his mom and sister though and told them I totally understand if they need to cut contact to keep the peace. They assured me that they do what they want to do and not what the girlfriend of a hot minute demands.
Since I am still in contact with them, she’s taken the mature approach of posting all my misdeeds on social media. Some of which have impacts on people that don’t deserve it. Well maybe deserve it a little but in any case, it’s rocking a lot of boats.
Three weeks ago, I was out with friends at a bar. New GF was there with the ex. She was livid and demanded I leave immediately. I gave the appropriate response and laughed, turned around and continued my conversation.
She proceeded to hit me from behind and smashed my head into the bar top. I lost consciousness for a few and when I came to, she was being pulled away and cops were being called. I declined charges at the time but was told if I change my mind to contact them.
So…since she’s being petty and posting everything about me, I’m thinking maybe those charges sound a whole lot better. My ex is begging me not to, saying he will rein her in and get her to stop, but man, I want to pull the trigger now and just do it.
As I’ve admitted, I’m not the good guy in this story. But am I the asshole if I do file charges against this girl?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) accepts responsibility for the failure of their past marriage but finds themselves in a new conflict. The central tension arises because the OP maintains relationships with their ex-in-laws, which the new girlfriend strongly opposes, escalating to physical violence and public shaming.
Given the severe escalation to physical assault, should the OP proceed with filing criminal charges against the new girlfriend, or is this action an overreaction given the OP’s prior acknowledgment of being the primary cause of their own divorce? Which path best addresses the violation of personal safety versus maintaining a less volatile social peace?
Here’s how people reacted:
Her nothing and don’t invite her to anything I am at and I don’t want to hear anything about her.
When you bring someone into their life you don’t need to demand they leave . Now if you cheated or lied during the divorce that is different . Your ex is a big boy and if he wants to be a baby .
Call
The police , and get a restraining order and sue her civilly for something . Don’t let her do this as it’s not her first time . His family I’m sure will
Bar her from any family events .
Please see a lawyer and press charges
But I would reconsider if you don’t press charges because then you are being an AH for yourself.
Good god, I hope you are doing alright with her smashing your head from the back.
I’m pretty sure this new gf need some major anger management stuff before she actually kill someone.
Good luck and take care of yourself.
She has also proven she is a controlling biatch hopefully he will figure this out before pulling the trigger on #3. But some people never learn or are just too desperate to be with someone.
As for his family rest assured they will figure it out if they haven’t already and your stock is going up as hers plummets.
That said, I am mo angel either and forgiving of people because of it sometimes. A solid middle ground if you truly don’t want to press charges might be seeking a restraining order. It will protect you, stop her from posting about you wildly, and if she ever comes at you again self defense won’t be hard to prove.
If ex can’t see how bloody loony she is over this he’s a sumb so and so.
Press charges. You’ve got witnesses that had to pull her off an unconscious woman. She’s a danger to society.
Nta
Tell your ex you don’t feel comfortable with her. Bring charges, get a restraining order to protect yourself. Don’t worry about her, she’s the criminal.
Press those charges.
Facebook won’t do much, but you can print them out to show a pattern of aggression with her. It’ll reinforce the assault charge and might get you a restraining order against her
Like only communicate should be about the kids if you have any.
Likeyou’re any different. Have some shame and cut all ties with your ex and his family.
NTA if you do.
NTA