Edit to add: After numerous comments suggested that she check in with a medical professional, OP has responded that she has, and there is no concern with her weight gain, meaning its option 2, and her husband needs to stop being so controlling.

Their are really two options here. You either have an eating disorder, and your husband is right to be concerned, or you don’t, and your husband needs to leave you to eat when its most pleasant for you.

No offense, but you are not the person best situated to determine if this concern is “legitimate” or not. People with anorexia often have very low insight into their condition, and think they are fine even though they most certainly are not. The person who needs to answer this question is a medical professional. If you are gaining an appropriate amount if weight, your eating is fine. If not, your husband has a valid concern. Take your husband to the doctor with you and get this addressed.

ESH. You for dismissing your husbands concern for you, and for lying to him. Him for thinking its possible to bully someone out of an eating disorder,

YTA, because the feeling I get is that the OP is withholding information to swing the opinion her way.

INFO: OP, have you struggled with mental diseases such as anorexia or bulimia prior to getting pregnant? Are you underweight, now and/or before?

Despite OP’s obfuscation, I get the feeling that the husband has left the issue in her capable hands for five months. It also sounds like things, whatever they are, have not improved, evolving instead into childish games on her part.

I am certain there is more to this story.

If the health of the baby is in danger, she needs to build a bridge and get over it. Going to the doctor is a good first step. Following what they say is a good second step.

OP, and if you find yourself evading the doctor’s advice, making it sound like everyone is asshole but you, then you will know exactly who the asshole was all along.

NAH – he’s worried. He should trust your ability to retain information from the doctor and properly convey it to him though.

Take him to the doctor with you and let the doctor explain the perfectly normal phenomena you’re experiencing. As long as you EAT enough, it’s doesn’t matter WHEN. He should be willing to trust you to know what the fuck happens during pregnancy, but let the OB/GYN tell him and then you can discuss his lack of trust with a therapist.

There’s clearly some overlying issues. But making the doctor tell your husband that it’s a perfectly normal pregnancy side effect will reassure him. And he’s not an asshole for wanting professional reassurances.

NAH – I actually think that a visit to the doctor would be mutually beneficial. Since you’re pregnant, I can understand his being concerned about your eating habits. That being said, I can understand that you’re irritated at his controlling behavior. A visit to the doctor will probably show that either A) you’re eating enough during the meals that he doesn’t see and he should drop it or B) that you should eat more for the baby’s sake. Either way, seeing a doctor to shine light on the subject is probably the best way to not have to deal with this stressor for another 5 months.

ESH – marriage/relationships are about communication. It sucks that you were lying to him by “sleeping in” to avoid him at breakfast, and it sucks that he thinks your stuck on a fad diet instead.

You should speak to your doctor to make sure you are consuming enough nutrition for you and your child. He’s trying to be supportive but it’s coming off as a bit hostile. You’re both under a lot of stress it seems so visiting a doctor together so you’re both on the same page about the next few months seems like a good pathway to a healthy pregnancy and relationship.

NTA many woman have morning sickness (and all-day-sickness 😅) there are a few things like crackers and some sodas that can help you keep something down in the morning but it really depends on your own body.

Your husband needs to understand that many pregnant women can’t have breakfast so maybe going to the doctor he can explain it to your husband

At the same time if it really is all-day-sickness and you barely can eat food or even keep it down you should also talk to your doctor to figure out what to do to stay nourished so you and baby are healthy

ESH – talk about passive aggressive 😂. You are both adults and should be able to talk about this together.

I think a doctors visit is a great idea because it can address each of your concerns. Your doctor can help you with your issues of keeping food down as well as explain to your husband that this is a normal issue during pregnancy. Personally I would be more concerned about getting enough folic acid if you keep throwing up.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and best of luck to you both!

Please take him with you to your doctor’s appointment. He may not realize that severe morning sickness (hyperemesis) is a debilitating symptom that can occur for some women during pregnancy.

I think his behavior is a little concerning. Ordering you to eat or get up at a particular time is really over the line. He needs to be informed of your condition and have his fears put to rest. If he continues this controlling behavior though you may have a more significant, long-term issue here.

NTA.

ESH Both of you need to get help in dealing with your emotions and learning to communicate. It’s something all couples must constantly work on, because no communication leads to guesses and ‘mind reading’. Hopefully you are seeing a doctor. Hopefully you tell your doctor about what is happening. Perhaps your husband can go with you and express both of your concerns about your health, seeing as how he can be home unexpectedly.

ESH:

1. Your husband is a controlling and incredibly disrespectful AH who is treating you like a child.
2. Your behavior is childish and ridiculous with the fake oversleeping instead of being an adult and having a conversation.

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If your relationship is so bad that you cannot have a conversation, you need to consider couples therapy or ending the relationship.

NTA and your husband sounds like a control freak. You need to put your foot down and tell him he doesnt get to make the rules for you, and if he keeps trying to micromanage your life you’ll find somewhere else to eat and rest until the end of your pregnancy. Creating a whole new life is hard enough without someone trying to crush you under their thumb while you do it.

INFO: impossible to assess AH spectrum without the context of ‘the general state of the marriage.’ I think a lot of people are jumping the gun screaming ABUSE when the husband may just be worried about baby in a misguided way. But if there are other control issues etc then that may be valid. Just need more info

YTA. You are two grown-ass people who are supposed to be in a relationship. If you can’t get through a meal without one of you regretting that the other person is there and the other person berating you for what you do or don’t eat… is this a relationship? Seek help or get out.

I’m not going to judge on this one, because it’s impossible for us to tell whether your husband is genuinely concerned about an eating disorder, or whether he’s a controlling ass.

Either way, talk to a doctor and explain the facts. They’ll have real advice for you.

Uhh NTA your husband is being extremely controlling here. Morning sickness is totally normal during pregnancy. I lost weight from throwing up so much first trimester. Lived off basically saltines and Gatorade for a few months. Your husband needs to educate himself.

Nta. Call his bluff. Go to the dr with him. Explain to the dr your side. As long as you are getting daily calories it does not matter when you eat. Your husband needs a lesson in female physiology.

It’s really hard to know from this if your husband has a legitimate concern or not. I think seeing a doctor is a good idea as they will be able to give you something for the nausea.