YTA- I’m a RN at a large metropolitan Children’s hospital. We see horrific cases of babies falling asleep with parents so often. When babies fall asleep on their parents chest or in their arms, they can become trapped between the parent and the sofa, chair or bed. Often they are unable to breathe causing death or a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). With a TBI the once vivacious baby with an unlimited future ahead ceases to exist. In its place is a baby/child/adult that is bed/wheelchair bound, have to be fed through a tube, unable to walk, talk or toilet by themselves. Ever.

OP-you are N T A for sleeping when the baby sleeps. In fact, I do recommend it. Just be safe and smart about it. Put the baby in a safe place-crib to blanket on the floor. Remember SAFE sleep. Put baby to sleep on their back, on a firm surface such as a crib mattress, alone and no extra soft toys, pillows or blankets.

Gentle YTA. There’s nothing nicer than a contact nap, but it’s very unsafe to fall asleep with a baby, especially under 1 year on a sofa. It’s a major risk and statistically more dangerous than bed sharing.

I remember my husband being shocked about this because some of his favourite pictures are of him asleep on his sleeping dad on the couch, it’s a pretty normal cultural image. But it’s only safe if there is another awake parent supervising. That being said screaming and going ballistic shouldn’t have been the response. Education about safe sleep 7, SIDS risks and a discussion on how to get more sleep so you aren’t forced into dangerous co sleeping situations would be more productive. You two need to be supporting each other right now not ripping each other apart for mistakes.

N T A for sleeping. Parents survive by napping!

YTA for sleeping on THE COUCH with her. It is not safe. This is how babies die.
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/10/new-sids-prevention-recommendations/505289/

From that article, “(where baby sleeps)… should never be a pillowy chair, sofa, or couch—with or without another person on it. The bottom line, says Rachel Moon, the lead author of the Pediatrics study: “We know that these surfaces are extremely hazardous.”

Or:

“The average chance of SIDS in England and Wales is 1 in 3,300, but the chance of SIDS while co-sleeping on a sofa is 1 in 180. We therefore strongly encourage you to avoid co-sleeping with your baby in hazardous locations such as on a sofa.
https://www.basisonline.org.uk/sofa-sharing/

YTA. I’m a mum to a 2 and a half year old and an 11 week old. I get it. Totally exhausting. But positional asphyxiation is REAL and unfortunately many children have died the way you were holding your daughter while sleeping. Nothing wrong with you napping while your daughter sleeps but she needs to be in a safe sleep space while you do. I would often nap while my eldest napped but I was in my bed and she was in hers.

YTA for dismissing your wife’s very real concerns about what you were doing. Your child is 7 months old, you should be very well aware of safe sleep guidelines by now.

You move your infant to a safe place to sleep and then you take a nap.

Sleeping on couch with infant in your arms is dangerous. She could have rolled out of your arms and landed on her head.

In this argument, your wife wins. It would have been nice if she hadn’t gone all ballistic as a form of educating you, but the fact that you’re STILL insisting that what you did wasn’t risky shows either a lack of common sense or a lack of care/concern.

YTA.

YTA because that was incredibly dangerous and your child could have died.

It’s ok to be tired, it’s understandable you’re tired, but when baby goes to sleep you need to put her down in a safe sleeping space and then you can sleep too.

Too many babies have died trapped between a parent and sofa cushions. This is what upset your wife. Not you sleeping, but the completely unsafe sleeping situation for your daughter.

Soft YTA.

It’s against several medical guidelines to co-sleep with a child under 1 year as you can suffocate the baby if you shift your weight or roll over, she could slip out of your arms and fall, and just the general risk of essentially leaving a child unattended while you’re unconscious.

I know you didn’t mean any harm but I totally understand why your wife was upset. Next time put the baby in the crib.

YTA.

I get it, I have two kids, and I’ve been there. But sleeping with an infant is incredibly dangerous, and it sounds like you we’re completely exhausted. We’re not talking dozing, but dead to the world sleeping. Would you have been aware that baby had shifted and couldn’t breathe? Once you realized you were getting that tired, you needed to move the baby to a safe place to sleep.

YTA. Your wife is freaking out because you could have killed your baby. That’s a natural motherly response to her child being put in danger. Sleeping with an infant in your arms is extremely dangerous and can have devastating consequences.
Edit: also extremely concerning you didn’t wake up to the baby not being in your arms anymore but instead your wife had to yell to wake you up.

The issue isn’t that you fell asleep while your daughter was sleeping. The issue is that you fell asleep while you were holding your sleeping daughter on the couch. Its a suffocation risk. I understand the exhaustion but I also understand her concern.

I’m going with YTA because you don’t even acknowledge that you made a mistake and “think it isn’t an issue”.

YTA. My husband did this and I found them just in time to catch her before she fell headfirst on the wood floor. The second time he almost smothered her because she was on the cushion side. You are not aware of body positions when you’re asleep. Put the baby in a crib when you nap.

YTA. You’re tired, I get it. But that was dangerous and your wife’s anger isn’t out of place, and your attitude is what makes you TA. It IS an issue and you need to take it seriously.

YTA – if the kid was in a bed that would be one thing,

But in your arms? That’s really dangerous

But as the parent of a toddler and a six month old

I get it, I do

YTA. Your daughter could’ve woken up and fell off the couch! She could’ve hurt herself! Next time put her in her crib or in her playpen if you want to sleep!

YTA. You could’ve dropped your daughter, you could’ve choked her. And you didn’t even realise your wife took her from you!

YTA you might not be aware but sleeping like that could harm your baby. If you’re going to nap, but baby in a crib