Meanwhile, life marched on around her. Dan, her ex-husband, found new happiness with Madison, whose warmth and growing family bring joy to the grandchildren. And Geena, now back under her parents’ roof, is trapped in a cycle of endless work and quiet despair, her once bright future dimmed by regret and unspoken pain.
My daughter, Geena 38, left her husband, Dan 40, for a younger and more exciting man from her work. They broke up when she got hit with a condo levy she asked him to help pay for since he was living with her.
He declined since he wasn’t on the deed. He said he didn’t mind paying rent but that maintenance was on the owner. They fought and that was that. She ended up having to sell the condo.
It was too expensive for her alone but it was something she fought for in the divorce. That was six years ago and she finally burned through the money from the sale. We told her to buy something smaller in a different neighborhood but she insisted that she needed to live there so he kids lives wouldn’t be disrupted.
In the mean time our son-in-law just remarried to a lovely girl, Madison(27/28?). Our grandchildren like her and she is always very pleasant when we speak. She is pregnant and the kids are excited for a new sibling.
My daughter is back living with us. All she does is work and complain. She has to work too much, she can’t meet good men, this new woman stole her life, it never stops.
My wife is always commiserating with her about how she is so hard done by. I just keep my mouth shut.
Madison came by yesterday to pick up the kids. After she left my daughter went off again. She was driving a new car they got since her old car would be impractical for a family of five to drive around in.
The kids ran out to see it and check out all the bells and whistles.
Geena didn’t even say hello. After Madison and the kids left she started whining again. Now about how she can’t afford a new car.
I couldn’t help it. I told her that she made her choice to give up the life she had for something different and that choices have consequences.
She literally ran crying to her room and I felt like shit. Her mom scolded me for being so harsh. I apologized for saying what I said and I honestly feel bad about it but I think she needs to stop complaining about her life since she chose it.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is caught between supporting their daughter, Geena, who expresses significant regret and continuous complaint about her post-divorce financial and romantic circumstances, and acknowledging the consequences of Geena’s past decisions. The central conflict lies in the OP’s choice to finally voice a truth—that past choices lead to current realities—which resulted in his daughter experiencing intense emotional distress and his wife criticizing him for the perceived harshness.
Given Geena’s ongoing unhappiness and financial strain stemming from decisions made six years ago, should parents prioritize offering unwavering emotional support and accommodation, or is it necessary to deliver direct, reality-checking feedback about past actions, even if it causes immediate pain?
Here’s how people reacted:
My ex is mad at me too because she is having trouble in relationships, living with her daughter with nothing left that I gave her in the divorce. I am happily remarried and traveling in my older age like I always wanted to. She asked for the divorce and was entertaining several men while we were married. She said I could never measure up. Lol
She needs to be an adult, suck it up, and deal with the repercussions of her actions. You shouldn’t have apologized. The truth hurts sometimes. Maybe she needs that blunt truth to move on.
Geena needed to hear the truth. Geena is delusional if she thinks Madison caused the mess. I think Geena had “grass is greener” syndrome. And now… she is realizing the grass wasn’t greener on the other side.
I hope your ex-son-in-law and Madison work out. It is nice when someone is able to find someone who treats kids from a previous relationship well. And who is able to be kind to the people who are related to the step-kids.
You and your wife need to plan a way to stop enabling her and get on a path to independence. She is 38, you can’t keep catching her every time she falls.
I don’t know how you worded it excatly, but sounds rather pointed.
Nevertheless, she is the one that left, and by your account it’s on her (like no other reason than wanting another guy).
Also, it’s hard to live with someone who complains a lot. Maybe tell her to stop complaining so much while she lives with you.
>My daughter, Geena 38, left her husband, Dan 40, for a younger and more exciting man from her work.
>she finally burned through the money from the sale.
>We told her to buy something smaller in a different neighborhood but she insisted that she needed to live there
Who made these decisions?
Your daughter is an adult, or should be. She left her husband for a younger man. Then she burned through the money instead of buying something smaller like a reasonable person.
It’s good that you were honest with her. She needed to hear it. I’m proud of you.
Your daughter is 38 and is old enough to hear the truth. You don’t need to use kids gloves anymore with her.