Caught between understanding and conflict, he faces the impossible: preserving his daughter’s peace without fracturing bonds. The basement, once a sanctuary, becomes the battleground for unseen struggles, where even the smallest room holds the weight of hearts trying to coexist.
I have a daughter(F14) with my ex, my gf has a son(M16) and a daughter(F14). She recently gave birth to our baby girl.
My daughter is an extremely light sleeper. This is relevant.
My gf insisted on moving in with us after giving birth which is understandable because she needs help. Our baby is obviously in our room.
I prepared my office for her kids. My daughter has always had the basement to herself.
Now my gf thinks her daughter should share my daughter’s room which can not happen because my daughter is a light sleeper and can’t have roommates. Also it’s a small partial basement so not really suited for 2 people.
She thinks I’m an asshole.
Conclusion
The Original Poster (OP) is facing a difficult situation where the practical needs of his light-sleeping daughter conflict directly with his girlfriend’s expectations for shared space for her children, leading to accusations that he is being unreasonable.
Considering the non-negotiable sleep requirement of the OP’s daughter versus the desire for equitable living arrangements for all children, the core question remains: Should the established need for one child’s specific sleeping environment supersede the desire to integrate the new family structure through shared accommodations?
Here’s how people reacted:
You had a non-serious relationship with a woman you don’t see a long-term relationship with.
You wore protection.
You don’t want a vasectomy as you may want more children in the future with a long-term partner (not your current partner).
Your partner may or may not have taken the pill (she’s not here to confirm).
Your partner decided not to have an abortion (her choice, and as you acknowledge, you couldn’t force her to do so).
You were happy to co-parent separately, but your partner insisted on living together once the baby was born.
You own your house and provide a suitable roof over your daughter’s head.
Your partner chose to move her two children into your house that doesn’t have suitable rooms for them. Her choice. Her kids, her responsibility.
You are realistic and acknowledge this relationship will not last and therefore you will have a suitable number of bedrooms for your two children.
I did laugh at the people calling you a deadbeat (single dad who provides the roof over his kid’s head isn’t a deadbeat).
Others need to stop calling you a pedo. That’s disgusting and should absolutely only be used on real pedos. If by their logic you’re a pedo for ‘forcing an opposite sex sibling set share a bedroom’, then it’s actually your partner that’s the pedo. She’s responsible for them and made that choice.
Only a bit of advice that I’d also give a woman (and I should have followed myself); pick better. As a man, you know you don’t have any say once conception occurs, so the safer option is to only have sex with someone who you would be comfortable with rising your kid. It’s hard having to hand over your kid to someone who isn’t the best parent.
No, your daughter should not have to share her space, and forcing her to do so will just create resentment. However the siblings can’t share one room and soon the baby will need their own private space too.
None of the older kids have a say here, and though both of you are looking out for your daughters, neither are considering the long term resentment this can create forcing them to share a room.
You and your girlfriend need to discuss these things thoroughly before disrupting everyone else’s life due to you guys blundering through life making snap decisions because you chose to have a baby.
But this is also a bigger issue of both of you moving in together and creating a blended family. have all the teen kids spent time together before now? How long have you and your GF been together? I’m kind of a little econfused though if this is even someething you wnt, are you planning to get married? Why did your GF “insist” on moving in, did you not plan to live together to raise the baby? Or were you not wanting this move? Did you talk about what the living arrangement would be for the kids beforehand?
You and your girlfriend need to do better.
You and your girlfriend had 9 months to talk about this and get it sorted. Why leave it until the last minute? It literally makes no sense.
Kinda the asshole…
I don’t know why you didn’t think about living arrangements before having a child with someone, but I understand giving your kid her space. No one enjoys sharing a room, straight up.
ESH apart from the kids.
Yikes.