The situation escalated when the husband tripped, badly cutting his forehead. At the hospital, he was belligerent, argued with the paramedics, and refused stitches. After he became so disruptive that security and sedation were required for treatment, his wife, feeling exhausted, embarrassed, and angry, chose to leave him for overnight observation and returned to their Airbnb. The following morning, the husband’s mother and sister contacted her, calling her heartless for leaving him alone.
I (29f) and my husband (31m) were visiting his family in another state for a cousin’s wedding. We’ve been married 3 years, no kids yet. My husband likes to drink, and at the reception he definitely overdid it, taking shots with his cousins and ignoring the fact I asked him to slow down because we had to drive back to our Airbnb.
Long story short, he ended up tripping over the curb outside the venue while we were waiting for our Uber and cut his forehead pretty badly. He was super drunk, belligerent, cussing at the paramedics and refusing stitches.
At the hospital, he kept yelling at nurses and trying to take off his IV, so security had to come in. They eventually sedated him so they could clean him up.
At that point it was already 2 AM, and I was exhausted, embarrassed, and honestly mad. I asked the nurse if I could leave since they were admitting him overnight for observation and she said yes.
I called an Uber, went back to the Airbnb, showered, and went to bed. His mom and sister started blowing up my phone around 7 AM calling me heartless for leaving him there alone, and saying I should’ve stayed in case something happened.
He’s fine now, just has a bandage on his forehead and a big hangover, but everyone’s treating me like the villain.
AITAH for leaving him there overnight instead of staying with him in the hospital?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is facing criticism from her husband’s family who view her decision to leave him at the hospital overnight as heartless, despite his inebriated and disruptive behavior resulting in his necessary sedation and admission for observation. The central conflict lies between the OP’s need to protect her own well-being and exhaustion after dealing with a severe situation versus the family’s expectation that she remain as his caretaker regardless of the circumstances.
The question for debate is whether the OP was wrong for leaving her heavily intoxicated husband in the care of hospital staff after he had been sedated for treatment, or if her decision was a justified response to an exhausting and volatile situation. Readers must weigh the obligation to a spouse against the right to self-preservation in a crisis.
Here’s how people reacted:
Your husband might be an alcoholic. You said he likes to drink. He got so drunk at a wedding that he fell down, was verbally abusive to paramedics, and hospital staff, to the point they had to sedate him.
How was he treating you during all this? Did he save his vitriol for strangers, or did the good ole wife receive some of his temper, too?
Tell your in-laws your husband is a mean drunk, who was so vicious to those trying to help him in the hospital that security had to hold him while they sedated him. So, yep, you went home so he could sleep it off, rather than sit there and keep taking it. Ask them if they’re ready to help you talk him into rehab, because he has a problem.
I say this as someone whose parents spent a good chunk of my childhood in hospital. Also, I’ve had a few hospital stays myself. My latest one I drove myself and told my husband to stay home. We have two small kids and I understood that it would have been a nightmare for him to achieve.
It sounds like your inlaws have watched too many films. They are not real life.
I mean, you were going to pick him up right? Haha I assume you were.
Not one person in that ER was like “oh my god, I can’t believe she left him here overnight.” You weren’t ditching grandma to be sent away to the nursing home forever.
Sorry you went through that.
I’m sure you’ll claim you left the car and called ab Uber or something also, but I’m not buying it.
Anway, in a situation like that, it’s probably not a big deal if a spouse leaves the other overnight. However, I bet your husband would stay by your side because he’s your spouse and not your parent trying to punish you for disobeying
You appear to be married to an irresponsible person who was too busy trying to keep up with his cousins than to get you both to your bed safely.
Is your husband a mommy’s boy, judging by how the in laws decided to pile on. It is nothing to do with them.
This isn’t the first time he has got shitfaced, is it ?
I’m glad she went and got some sleep. She would not have been able to do anything helpful once I was admitted and was helpful when I returned.
If by any chance this is true, yeah you should have stayed. Asshole or not, brought on by his own behaviour or not, it was a serious head injury, so personally I’d have stayed and then been pissed at him the next day.
Unless he gets control of his drinking, you will be spending more time mad, embarrassed, and exhausted.
I would only let him shame me like that once.
If he can’t, he should forgo overindulging in the future – you’re helping him figure out what he should’ve realized himself by now.
NTA.
He was at the hospital. If something happened, they would’ve responded to it. You not being there had no impact on the situation.
I think what you did was reasonable.