What was meant to be a casual visit quickly spiraled into a race against time, as love and quick action became the only shields against disaster. The weight of fear hung heavy in the air, underscoring the raw reality of living with severe allergies and the constant vigilance it demands.
Basically, my nephew has a pretty severe peanut allergy, to the point where they carry an epipen around all the time just in case. From what I know, if he mistakenly eats a peanut or something, they have to use the epipen asap.
My brother drops my nephew off at my parent’s house pretty randomly, most of the time he’ll call ahead but sometimes he comes without warning, but my parents are usually there and responsible.
Of course when we know my nephew is coming, we put away all the peanut products.
Today I doordashed some Chick Fil A for lunch, not knowing my brother and my nephew were going to stop by. I left the Chick Fil A on the dining table while I finished a class, and when I walked out I saw my nephew eating one of my nuggets.
I panicked because I knew that Chick Fil A uses peanut oil to fry their chicken.
So I ran and told my brother that my nephew ate a chicken nugget that was fried with peanut oil and he immediately used the epipen on my nephew. When my brother’s wife found out, she was furious because apparently peanut oil is refined and therefore my nephew isn’t allergic to it, so they had just wasted an epipen.
My brother is blaming me and says I need to pay to replace the epipen since it’s my fault it was used. But I feel like, as his dad, he should’ve been aware of what his son was or wasn’t allergic to and stopped him from eating something if he wasn’t sure he was allergic to it.
However, that was their last epipen, and my brother says they can’t afford to buy another one. I’m 16, so I do have a job, but it’s minimum wage, and I only have about $800 saved and it’s part of what I’m saving up for college.
I can’t afford to spend $600 on an epipen.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) acted out of extreme caution due to the nephew’s severe, life-threatening peanut allergy, leading to the emergency use of an EpiPen. The central conflict is the clash between the OP’s protective reaction and the brother’s subsequent anger over the perceived unnecessary medical intervention, compounded by the financial demand for replacement.
Should the OP bear the financial responsibility for replacing the EpiPen, given that their action was an immediate, fear-driven response to a perceived life-threatening exposure, or does the father (the brother) hold ultimate responsibility for monitoring his child’s ingestion of unknown foods and managing the necessary emergency medication?
Here’s how people reacted:
Depending on the age of the nephew, the father should have paid attention to the child to ensure that he doesn’t eat anything he shouldn’t. And you are right that a responsible parent should know about the potential foods and products the child is allergic to, but it can be an extensive list for a peanut allergy.
I would try to compromise on the amount you pay, especially because I’m sure you don’t want your nephew to potentially die. But I would take a hard stand on a complete replacement, as the father has significant responsibility in this situation.
If your brother was using the epi-pen correctly for a real attack, their pediatrician would be able to help them get another one covered or to get one under a reduced cost program.
NTA. Can’t believe it needs to be said, but it’s the job of the parents to parent.
The real asshole here is the pharmaceutical industry for making lifesaving medication so fucking expensive.
You didn’t hand him a snickers. You didn’t administer the epipen yourself. And you alerted his inattentive father of the situation and he decided.
It’s pretty shitty to ask a 16 year old to pay for their negligence.
I am well over 16 and didn’t know that refined peanut oil was okay with peanut allergies. I work with kids and when their parents say peanut or nut allergy I just assume that means anything made with those products is a danger. I would also administer an EpiPen if I thought they consumed something with their allergen in it.
Do tell them about the generic epipen, though. It costs WAY less. You need to ask the doctor for an Adrenaclick prescription, as the 2 are not considered interchangeable.
>as his dad, he should’ve been aware of what his son was or wasn’t allergic to and stopped him from eating something if he wasn’t sure he was allergic to it.
Plus, it was your food. Wasnt the kid taught manners to ask first?
People need to start accepting their own children’s bills. That includes when the child makes a mistake. This mistake is also definitely the fault of dad since he should be keeping his eyes on the kid 24/7.