In the midst of heartbreak, a new chapter unfolds as she discovers the existence of her biological father—a man unaware of her until now, whose embrace promises acceptance and love. With the warmth of newfound family and the possibility of healing, she steps cautiously into an unfamiliar world, yearning to be seen not as a mistake, but as a daughter worthy of love and belonging.
I’m a child of infidelity. My mom was cheating on my dad and I’m the result. My three other siblings are my dad’s. I just turned 15.
The news came out about 6 months ago and I’ve been staying with my grandparents ever since. That was my dad’s condition to stay with my mom and try to make things work. I’m being treated like garbage by everyone because of it (parents, relatives, siblings, even friends).
I haven’t talked to my dad ever since I’ve left, I talk to my mom once a week and about 2 months ago asked her to give me information about my biological father. She refused but I managed to figure it out (my aunt, the only one who still treats me like before, had her suspicions about who he might be).
I reached out, we did DNA tests and confirmed everything.
My bio father did not know I exist and is excited, his family are cool too. He told me he didn’t know my mom was married at the time and he left her upon learning. His wife and little kids are also excited, so I started spending time with them and have so far had a great time.
This has been secret so far (except for my aunt) but I was found out after I was video calling my dad earlier today by my grandparents and now my mom and “dad” also know, and they came here telling me how hurt they are by my actions.
I insisted that I’m hurt by their actions but they said they’re just trying to figure things out and what I’ve done is effectively giving up and trying to replace them. To be honest I have given up as I don’t feel like part of the family anymore.
I asked what they did expect to happen and my mom told me to trust her that she will make things right for me.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is experiencing deep hurt and alienation following the revelation of their parentage and the subsequent family tension. The central conflict lies between the OP’s understandable need to seek truth and connection with their biological father, and the emotional expectations of their mother and adoptive father, who feel betrayed by this search, viewing it as an act of replacement and abandonment of the existing family unit.
Given the complex web of secrecy, infidelity, and newly discovered family ties, the key question remains: Was the 15-year-old justified in independently seeking out and establishing a relationship with their biological father as a means of self-understanding and connection, or did this action constitute an unfair betrayal of the family attempting to reconcile?
Here’s how people reacted:
It’s okay to reach out to your bio dad and you have every right to be mad at your family for treating you bad for a situation you have zero control over.
You aren’t responsible for the cheating, you aren’t responsible for anything and the adults treating you different and allowing your siblings to do the same are so very wrong.
>I asked what they did expect to happen and my mom told me to trust her that she will make things right for me.
Ask her why she and your family couldn’t just keep treating you the same instead of like garbage for something you have no control over.
You got the raw deal here and I’m so sorry. I’m really glad your bio dad and his family are welcoming to you.
The man who raised you as his child for 15 years decided he wanted nothing to do with you upon discovering you weren’t his. Your mother enabled that and decided that her romantic relationship was more important than her child’s well-being. Your family is treating you differently because your mother did something 16 years ago.
And they think *you* are the asshole for reaching out to someone for love and emotional support? For looking for answers about something that literally uprooted your entire life?
They are giant assholes and you were 100% right when you said they abandoned you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this
ETA: Thank you for the awards!
Your mom for cheating.
Your *dad* for dismissing you after raising you all his life.
Your biological father for fucking a married woman and bailing when she got pregnant (yes I don’t buy his excuse that he didn’t know, he likely knew and didn’t care until she became pregnant and then ran away).
You for making this all about you and not letting your family try to work though this very stressful time and not giving them any time. There’s no going back after this. I know it’s difficult but you need to give everyone time to process this.
all while they don’t call you more than once a week? don’t text? isolated you, alienated you, letting the rest of the family hate you for your MOTHERS mistake. and then when you do find something to make you happy instead of this shitty family it’s “oh how could you do this to us” that is most gaslight, manipulating, vile thing i can hear from parents THAT KICKED YOU OUT. say fuck them, you will love it later on trust me!
They’re hurt by your actions? Fuck them and their feelings.
Your whole world imploded and they kicked you out. You’ve been punished and pushed away by the only family you’ve known because your mom cheated.
Your dad is an awful human to make you leaving a condition of him staying. You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. Nothing.
I’m glad you’ve found your bio dad, spend time getting to know that side of your family.
No you are emphatically not TA and your parents don’t need to figure anything out. There is nothing to figure out. You’re their son. That hasn’t changed.
Take your time with your bio’ dads family. And if you need anything, a rant, an ear, anything I’m here x
Not even close. Don’t let anyone gaslight you.
Your family tossed you out of their family and they claim they were hurt by you connecting with your biological father?
Wow. Your biological family seem nice so I think you can live with them rather than your first family which only treated you like trash with the exception of your aunt.
The fact that he got cheated on doesn’t excuse his behavior one bit.
I wish you all the best with your real dad and hope you find a loving family.
Can you give your grandparents a hug from me for being willing to take you in even if they are grumpy?
NTA.