As voices rose and perspectives collided, the line between empathy and judgment blurred, leaving each friend grappling with their own truths and the complexities of love, respect, and understanding. This was not just a fight about tampons—it was a confrontation with the deeper realities of partnership and the silent battles that many endure behind closed doors.
I (28f) got into a little fight with my friends during a video call and I just want some outside perspectives.
I’ve been with my boyfriend (25m) for a little over 2 years now and i’m perfectly happy in our relationship.
I was on a video call with a few of my friends (ranging from 28-31f) and one of my friends (31f) was complaining about her husbands (35m) attitude towards menstrual products. apparently, the dude absolutely refuses to get her pads or tampons and they got into a fight the other day when she left a used tampon in the bin.
we were all trying to support her in her issues since that has to suck being in a relationship with someone like that. I was the only other person in a relationship so she asked me if my boyfriend is like this, and if it’s just a man thing.
so I told them my boyfriend is completely fine with all that, he grew up being the only male (father bailed, so 3 sisters, his mom, and him) and even buys me more when he notices I’m running low.
well, they all started attacking him, saying they thought he was being creepy for paying enough attention to buy me more products when he notices I’m running low. things like “oh wow, I thought he was an okay guy, but now he just sounds creepy” and “wow major creep vibes, I barely pay enough attention and often times need to run and get more myself” to say the least, I was pretty confused.
so I shot back “so it’s creepy to have an attentive SO? he’s the one who mainly does the shopping (i don’t have a license) and I personally appreciate that he does, since I also forget sometimes, y’all wildin, maybe you just need to find better men in your lives”
We kept arguing for about another 30 minutes, them still thinking my boyfriends a creep, and it’s one thing if I asked him to buy me more products, but that he goes ahead and just buys me what I need is “creepy” since “why’s he paying so much attention anyways??” to answer that question, it’s because I keep my products in the same place we keep out toilet paper, so he probably just checks to see if i may need more.
I just don’t know anymore, is it creepy? I just appreciate it. AITA?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is experiencing conflict because her friends reacted negatively to her positive description of her boyfriend’s attentiveness regarding menstrual products, labeling his helpfulness as ‘creepy.’ The OP is emotionally positioned in defense of her partner, viewing his actions as appreciated care, which directly clashes with her friends’ established expectation that such attentiveness is inappropriate or suspicious.
Is the boyfriend’s proactive care in recognizing and replacing necessary personal supplies an act of genuine partnership and attentiveness, or does the friends’ perception hold merit that such detailed observation crosses an inappropriate boundary? The core debate centers on whether thoughtful domestic partnership inherently involves minute, proactive attention to personal necessities, or if this level of observation warrants suspicion.
Here’s how people reacted:
A long time ago, my wife had a yeast infection – ewww – and she asked me to pick up some cream for her when I was at the store. I protested loudly, but, like Sarge said, when you’re deep in the shit, somebody has to shovel it. And my wife wouldnt stop that girly whining, so that shoveler was me.
Charlie was waiting for us at the feminine products aisle. As soon as my testosterone laden foot crossed the border, Rite-Aid’s Assistant Manager raised the alarm. I almost couldn’t see the Vagisil through the smoke grenades. The pink machine gun nests made a run for the 7-Day suicide. I had no choice but to order the company to feint towards the 3-Day while I snuck in to pick up the straggling 1-Day they left unprotected on the flank. I alone made it out. Freedom was within my sights!
But the cashier called me before The Hague to answer for my crimes against masculinity. I waited for her to look down at her nails – girls, amirite? – and I escaped to Argentina. Months of trekking through jungle and mesa later, I was able to tunnel under the wall back into the USA, to get my wife the relief she needed.
But it was too late. Another, more manly man had taken her from me. I’m now heavily medicated to protect me from the flashbacks, but still, they creep in when I never expect it.
No wait, that never happened. I went to Rite-Aid, picked out the box, they took my money, and I drove home to provide my wife something she needed. Because I’m not a goddam child.
They really don’t sound like good friends if they are spending that much time attacking someone for something you’re fine with. It’s not their business or place. I have a feeling though that they lashed out because he seems better than what they’ve had and are a bit jealous. So to ease their issues they wanted to knock you two down to their level. When that stuff happens don’t defend, just ignore them. Always make sure you feel safe in your relationship and if you do, tell others to mind their own business.
Either way, NTA, but I’m trying to determine if you’re friends were assholes or if there’s NAH.
I don’t think they understand the concept of a comfortable relationship. I almost pity them because they’re interpreting kind and caring behavior as creepy behavior… no wonder why they’re getting into these silly fights with their boyfriends.
Also, find more mature friends. They should not be having this “cooties” mentality at the age of 30.
sure, it definitely sucks that your married friend got into a fight over her leaving a used tampon in the bin (where was she supposed to put it?? pretty sure it recommended to not flush those) but I’m thinking she’s jealous of your boyfriend since she obviously married a child.
This seems like jealousy maybe. I’m 41(M) and will buy this stuff for my wife whenever she asks. I have a pictures on my phone of various shelves in supermarkets where I’m asking her which ones I need to pick up.
Have also been popping to the shop for my mum for this stuff since I was in my early teens.
Do these girlfriends/wives buy jockstraps or cups when their oh-so-manly-man partners’ football season comes around, or is that also creepy?
These are common, necessary items. Any boy (yes, boy, not a man) who refuses to buy them needs to grow the fuck up.
My husband checks to see if we’re running out of milk before he goes shopping. Is that also creepy? (/s) He has good shopping etiquette, which is a great quality in a partner! Your friends are wrong.
From title was expecting to give opposite 🙂 but no, he sounds great.
My partner of 15 years buys when needed. It’s weird to me to have a guy who won’t.