I work at a ren faire, and we have some falconer acts occasionally. They always give the caveat that ‘well folks, this is a new place, and lots of ruckus, we’ll hope for the best but remember these are still wild animals no matter how well they’re trained”

I’d say 80% of the time the shows went off without a hitch. Once in a while though the birds would just Not Be Having It, and fly off to a tree nearby or they would refuse to do their routines.

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Your friend doesn’t understand that reality of working with animals – she thinks you’re lying bc you don’t want to do it, and even though you’ve given her a great compromise that will be much more special than the ring bird flying away with a few month’s rent worth of metal and jewels.

NTA (or N A H if your friend comes around and accepts your answer without much more fuss)

NTA. Speaking as a wedding celebrant (and part-time owl enthusiast), I get anxious when dogs are acting as ringbearers – because no matter how well-trained they are, there’s always some scope for things to go wrong (see: the time I was attacked because the bride and groom were crying and I was picked out as the responsible party by a ‘perfect’ German shepherd in a veil and tiara). The scope for things to go wrong with something that has wings and talons is….wider. It also seems like a weird/stressful environment for the owl to be in, even outdoors, and the alternative you offered sounds extremely generous.

NTA – They are YOUR birds and you care for them. They are also animals, not props.

All that being said, Intelligent people at weddings DO NOT use the actual rings for such times. Kids drop them, don’t ‘perform’ in front of others as expected, and many other things happen that would cause something valuable and “precious” (pun intended) from not being available at the proper moment. SO, if your primary concern is losing the rings, make sure that the best man has the real ones on his ‘wand.’ Maybe why he’d be called the BEST man – LOL.

NTA. It’s an exaggeration but reminds me of the scene in pop star where someone is proposing but wants wolves there. He starts and the wolves start howling and growling. He turns to the handler and say

“Can you stop that?”

The handler just smiles and says

“No”

It’s an animal and unpredictable. That said, if they really want to take the risk and your owls aren’t in danger say ok and make them sign something saying they realize it may not deliver the ring as planned. Don’t do it without them signing something

NTA

Totally understandable. My cousin was a ring bearer when he was 5 and swallowed the ring before the ceremony because he was bored. A lot can happen to a ring when the person or animal holding it doesn’t understand the importance of it.

Unrelated question, how did you get into handling birds? Being a falconer was my dream job as a kid but my mom was mortally terrified of birds and never let me get near them. Now that I’m older I always wanted to get back into it but I feel like I missed my chance.

NTA.

This isn’t a movie. It’s a live, unpredictable animal who poops! What if it poops on her dress? Or scratches one of them up? Or what if it freaks out?

Like the other post, I’d ask them if they would sign a document stating the risks and that you will not be responsible in the event that rings are lost, dropped, or eaten by the owls. I’d also put in there that if anything happens to the owl, they will be responsible for all vet bills related to the event.

NAH

Feel free to say no, and they are free to ask.

> it’s just the 1 time i’m worried about and I don’t exactly want to take that risk with wedding rings.

Is your concern really only about the rings? I agree that the owl shouldnt take the **real** rings. Trying to untie anything from the owls leg will take longer than they suspect. Having the groom or someone pocket the rings and pretend to get them from the owl is a smoother transition.

NTA your concerns are legitimate, and your friends should understand the actual risk of losing the rings.

Just a suggestion but maybe you could give the owl fake rings, or a small bag with something inside, to deliver at the wedding. And when he drops it a groomsmen will pick up the bag and quickly switch it with real rings. If the owl doesn’t drop the bag you can just say it’s a show, and the real rings will still remain to the groomsmen.

NTA animals are never 100% predictable, and this would be an unfamiliar situation for your owl, as I assume the wedding will take place in a church or other building, and most shows probably take place outside.

Which would make its reaction even more unpredictable. If anything happens to the ring, you can bet the bride will blame you.

If she wants to have an owl fly with the rings so much, she can find another Falconer.

NTA — you know best about how to handle the owls.

However… it’s such a cool idea. Why not put the rings in a distinctive box or bag and make a matching dummy container for the owl to actually carry? Then a quick sleight of hand at the other end and the real box is pulled out and traded from a pocket or somewhere in the owl stand or wherever makes sense. That way, no risk to owl or rings and you still get a great show.

NTA

There’s an old saying “If in doubt, don’t.” This applies here. You are under no obligation to agree to their request for whatever reason. Simply decline. If they can’t accept it and your friendship suffers then they weren’t as good of a friend as you thought they were. They should respect your decision instead of being upset with you.

NTA- your owls are your responsibility and so is their welfare, not her wedding. You’ve gone above and beyond in what your offering to compensate not doing what your friend wishes. Your friend either needs to respect your decision and accept the counter-offwr or look at another company that could do what she wants.

NTA

I have seen the results of an owl deciding to land on someone’s head (first aid attendant). It is not something you want at a wedding.

Also the stress on the bird.

They are a living creature that you can protect and care for with doing pictures but this is too unpredictable for both human and owl wellbeing

You are nta. You know the difficulties of getting a requested behavior in a high stress environment.

Would you be OK if they used cheap, fake rings for the owl to carry, then after delivery, with a slight of hand switch to the actual rings?

Exceptional content here.

Also NTA, you just don’t want to ruin their day. Plus you are offering a service way beyond what a normal person would for a friend, by offering to bring all of your owls!

NTA. But if you decide to do it anyway have them both sign something saying they have been warned of possible risks and that you will not be held responsible if something happens to the rings.

NTA but maybe just use a fake ring instead.

That way if anything goes wrong just laugh it off and whip out the real ring.

Edit: thanks for the awards!

NTA

Your owl is a living creature, not a vehicle for a 30-year-old’s inordinately expensive Hogwarts letter.