In the face of denial and disappointment, the brother’s fierce determination to earn what he desires reflects a deeper yearning for recognition and independence. The sister’s unwavering support, even when it means setting aside her own dreams, reveals a silent promise to protect and uplift the one she loves most.
I [20 F] am an older sister to my little (biological) brother (17 M) who finished high school last year. My little brother and I are really close. He says I’m the best friend he has and he loves me more than anyone (of course this is not true, he has many friends of his own).
My brother has been asking our step-dad/mother if he could get a new car for his grad party since last year, and he said he’d pay 50-75% with his own hard-earned money while they paid the rest.
They said no. I have a car but I had been working for one, they helped me pay off for it. So my brother’s arguments with our parents got heated after awhile (one time I told my brother that I’d help him pay off expenses for a good car once I got my own.
He hugged me and said I didn’t need to worry and that he owed me way more than I owed him). But he continued to press our parents all of last year until they gave in and said yes like they did for me.
Note that our step-dad and my brother have a negative relationship for the most part. Our bio mother and step-dad got together soon after our bio dad and mom divorced when we were little.
My brother thinks that step-dad and mother were seeing each other before our real parents divorced and tbh, I think that might be true. Not certain, though.
Anyway, my step-dad, mother and brother compromised and said they’d get him the car in 2021 so that people don’t gawk at him at the graduation party. June this year my brother and step-dad/mother are still on about the car, now the arguments getting loud and lasting hours until evening.
My step-dad was getting into screaming matches with my brother over it but they reached a final compromise of the car being bought last week.
The fated morning comes and my brother wakes up to our step-dad and mom guiding him outside to… a car. But not his, our mother’s. Step-dad used his and my brother’s money on a dumb prank, bought a completely different model of car, and said it was for our mother.
Our mom and step dad just laughed and kissed each other. My brother didn’t lose it, he didn’t even look angry. He just looked dead in our step-dad’s eyes and said, and I’m not joking, verbatim: “you might think I’m fucking stupid, you might think whatever.
But I’m just better than you, bro. You know that, I know that, and our mom is a fucking idiot for staying with a prick like you. But I’ll make you wish you’d never fucking met us. I promise you.
You might be laughing now, but you’ll be crying later.” He then walked off, not even looking back at them as they stared horrified.
They asked me what was that about and I, feeling terrible for my brother, said they had it coming and not to be surprised. So now they grounded both of us. I’ve had to explain the situation to my friends as I can’t see them anymore but I feel so bad for my baby brother and they back me up on this and ask me to comfort him as much as possible.
But our parents are so mad, and they can’t see that my brother had his heart crushed. AITA?
Conclusion
The Original Poster (OP) is caught in a conflict between supporting her younger brother, whose expectations regarding a graduation gift were severely undermined by their parents’ actions, and facing consequences from those same parents. The OP felt empathy for her brother’s disappointment, leading her to validate his anger, which resulted in both siblings being punished. The central conflict lies in the OP’s protective loyalty to her brother versus adherence to the parents’ authority and rules.
Considering the depth of the betrayal felt by the brother versus the parents’ justification for punishment, the question remains: Was the OP’s validation of her brother’s intense reaction justified given the parents’ deliberate deception, or should she have maintained neutrality to avoid shared disciplinary action?
Here’s how people reacted:
I would send out a mass email to every member of your family and tell them what your step-dad did. He stole money that your brother worked hard to save and used it to buy your mother a car.
Include a picture of the car with the caption that step-dad stole money from a 17 year old to pay for this car.
I would blast it on FB ad well.
Consider setting up a Go Fund Me account with the story to see if you can help you brother recoup some money to buy a car. Since you are of legal age, have your name on it to safeguard any donations.
If your brother has any bank accounts, close them up an help him set up a new account(s) in both your names to safeguard the money.
I would go scorched earth on your step-dad and publicly humiliate him as much as possible.
Both of you need to work on an exit strategy to get out of the house. Perhaps between the two of you you could get an apartment and your brother could file as an emancipated minor. Or you could file to become his guardian. Or perhaps other family will take you in.
Edit to add – You are 20 years old, they can’t ground you.
I’d move out with my brother if I were you and cut ties with them. If not now then as soon has feasible. Or if your dad is in the picture still then maybe see if he can step-up for you and your brother.
They stole your brothers money to buy themselves a vehicle and laughed about it. They are grounding you at the age of 20 because you called them out on it.
There is no respect in that house. I wouldn’t feel comfortable relying on them for anything. I wouldn’t want to go to university when any minute they could renege on whatever fiscal arrangement you guys had made.
Also…that isn’t a prank. That is a crime
Right now, I’m trying to be there for my little brother as much as possible. Lots of cuddles and free food but he won’t stop bawling his eyes out. I’m worried psychological harm has been done to him.
Your mother is the worst for letting someone do this to her *child*. I want to say so many things that would get me permanently banned.
Edit: Thank you all for the awards!
>Our mom and step dad just laughed and kissed each other.
75% of the money was your brother’s. Your dad needs to deal with this right.now. I’m amazed your brother was so calm. I would have uh. Not been calm. How does your dad have 40% custody? You’re an adult and your brother is 17. Just move out and sue them.
NTA. What your mom and step-dad did is decietful, cruel, and borderline criminal, and both you and your brother would be 100% justified in going no contact with these demented crooks.
Pranks are mean. they’re an atrocious form of “humour”. More bullying than humour, really.
Your bother’s money was stolen. He should make a report to the police.
NTA
That’s not okay.
Also I’d file a police report or depending on how much of the money was your brothers see if you can go through a small claims court and sue them
Either way. NTA
But also, how can you be grounded when you’re 20 years old?