The presence of the child becomes more than just a mild interruption—it’s a disruptive storm of unsolicited attention and lost productivity. The quiet hum of diligent effort is drowned out by baby talk and social visits, leaving coworkers caught between empathy and frustration in a place where respect for the job should come first.
I work for a local government office, in a large complex with a whole lot of people. When their kids are sick or when they don’t have a sitter for their kids, they take the day off from the substantial leave that we’re allowed per year.
My entitled coworker feels that when she doesn’t have a sitter, it’s perfectly fine to just bring her 5 year old in with her for the entire day. The kid “camps out” under this coworkers desk, laying on the floor, being constantly told to “Ssssh” and left to amuse herself with an ipad and toys.
This coworker also does not ask our supervisor beforehand if it’s alright to do this, she just brings the kid in.
Also, when she has her kid here, numerous people come over to our office to chat and coddle the kid and “meet” the kid and baby talk the kid and it’s really disturbing when you’re trying to concentrate on writing or creating graphics for a project.
This morning, I heard her come in and she told her kid to say hi to me. Coworkers says she didn’t have a sitter today. I said, “you mean she’s here all day again?” She said yes. I asked if she asked our supervisor if it was okay.
She said, “No, he’ll know when he gets here.” I told her that the office is NOT A DAYCARE center and she should use the leave she has to stay home and watch her kid. All day she’s been whispering to people about how I’m an asshole to telling her this and how I don’t like kids.
I love kids. Just not in the office all damn day! Am I the Asshole here?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) expressed clear frustration with a coworker’s recurring pattern of bringing her child to the office for full days when childcare falls through, viewing this action as disruptive and unfair to professional responsibilities. The central conflict lies between the OP’s belief that office time should be dedicated solely to work and the coworker’s apparent assumption that the office can serve as an emergency backup childcare location without proper authorization.
Given the significant disruption to the work environment caused by unauthorized dependents, is the OP justified in directly confronting the coworker about using the office as an impromptu daycare, or should the issue have been addressed solely through formal supervisory channels to avoid personal conflict?
Here’s how people reacted:
She’s inconsiderate, but if it’s been bothering you, you should have raised the issue with your boss before it ever got to this point.
Edit: I’m tired of responding to people who seem to think I’m saying going to the boss should have been her *first* course of action. Yes. Obviously the first thing she should have done was go directly to her co-worker and talk about it. *calmly, rationally, and professionally*.
But it should have been done *months* ago, after the first or second time this happened. Don’t sit on it, not talk to your co-worker, not talk to your manager, and then get angry and unleash on her out of frustration.
Nobody wins in that scenario.
Talk to her. If that doesn’t work, talk to your supervisor. If that doesn’t work escalate it to human resources.
Also… she is justified in not wanting the child in her office. That’s why *everyone* sucks. Being justifiably annoyed doesn’t mean that she wasn’t an asshole for calling her co-worker out on the floor, in front of other people, in a rude and dramatic way. That doesn’t help anything. Losing your temper at work is understandable but is also not how you should handle things…hence why she is a co-asshole.
more info needed- if you take a day off of work for this reason, do you still get payed? i know some companies will still pay you even if you have sick days etc. and not sure if it applies to wherever you work.
if it does- then she should just take the day off, and if it doesn’t then she should be more responsible (and take the day off to look after her child herself) and make sure that in the future she has someone to look after her kid ahead of time.
We have a guy like this in my office and a lot of the people (even ones with kids) are bothered when he does this. Only a couple have voiced objections to the boss, probably because it’s “taboo” to be negative about kids. You’re spot on with the point that kids don’t belong at work, especially not regularly and without permission.
Unfortunately, I think a lot of people at your office may treat the situation like you are an a-hole, just because of the expectation of social politeness.
You’re 100% correct that she shouldn’t be bringing her kid to work, but you should be bringing this up with your/her supervisor, including if the kid’s presence is negatively impacting you. She’s obviously an asshole for bringing in her kid so frequently and then gossiping about you after you told her off.
YTA because, honestly, how self important can we all be? Stop being a Scrooge because you’re unhappy with your life, and taking things so damn seriously.
Her for failing to ensure that her child isn’t disruptive to the workplace.