Beneath the surface of family bonds lay an unspoken tension, a clash between duty and desire. She watched as her mother’s generous spirit was stretched thin, and her sister’s neediness threatened to consume the very moments she had fought so hard to claim for herself. It was a quiet heartbreak, a struggle to hold onto a piece of peace in a world where sacrifice seemed endless.
I’m 22 years old. my sister is 26 and has 2 children a 2 month old and a 2 year old. I always thought she should not have gotten another could because she can barely take care of the other one and most of the time asks other people to take care of them because she can’t do it alone.
Our mom is one of the people who goes and helps allot. Definitely now that the babys born.
Now for the vacation part. I booked a vacation to the beach a year ago it was quite expensive. But this is something I really wanted so i saved up for it. I asked our mom if she wanted to go with me.
She said yes I booked and payed for 2 people. A month before we left for the vacation. My mom said my sister was also coming with us because her boyfriend was away that same week on a bike vacation.
There wasn’t really a question in it they just announced it. Afterwards i went to our mom and said my concerns about how i was afraid i would have no time for myself and i would have to babysit all the time.
( Something about me I’m high sensitive and i get overwhelmed very quickly by constant loud noice and being an introvert being around people mentally drained me to the point i can’t do anything anymore but just sleep.
They know this)
Where now 4 days into the vacation. And everything i feared came true. I have to constantly keep my 2 year old busy while my mom and sister are on there phone or taking care of the baby.
Even when I go somewhere else to be alone for a second like lay on my bed or something he follows and keeps asking to play. I love him but it get to much for me. The only way they leave me alone is when Im sleeping so i have been doing that allot.
With makes that i wasn’t able to do anything that i wanted.
My sisters told me today I’m Ruining her vacation because I make a long face all the time. I don’t know if that’s an English expression but in dutch it mean I’m not happy all the time.
I was so annoyed i told her what do you mean ruining your vacation i paid for it. This is my vacation. She began yelling and said that just because i paid for everything doesn’t mean I can sit here and ruin it for her.
I said you invited yourself i didn’t ask you to be here. And said that they promised I would not have to babysit. She began yelling louder and said i haven’t touched the baby while we where here (that’s a lie i have given him his bottle a few times and held him while he slept and cried plenty of times.) I told her who has been keeping the 2 year old busy.
She got more angry and said isn’t that normal for you to want to play with the 2 year old as his aunt. Our mom was looking at me like I’ve kicked the children. Because how could I complain about playing with my own nephew.
They stormed out and yelled that there really something wrong with me and i should think about what i said.
I’ve been crying non stop and have no clue what to do anymore. They don’t talk to me. And I’m stuck here with them until Friday.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is experiencing significant emotional distress because a vacation planned and paid for selfishly for themselves has turned into an unpaid childcare obligation, directly conflicting with their known need for quiet and alone time as an introvert. The central conflict lies between the OP’s financial investment and personal need for rest, versus the expectations set by their mother and sister that the OP would assume the role of primary caretaker for the two young children.
Considering the OP’s stated financial contribution and known introversion against the family’s expectation that the OP should happily provide constant entertainment and childcare, is the OP being unreasonable for prioritizing their own mental well-being and the purpose of their vacation?
Here’s how people reacted:
I’ve been both the childfree aunt that just gotten niblings pretty much dumped on me and now I have children of my own (which I DON’T just drop on someone else, they’re after all MY responsible first).
Also, when you come home from the vacation, have a separate conversation with your mother about how YOU need to be a priority when it’s YOUR vacation. Make it clear to her that you understand that she want’s to help your sister but that can’t dictate every situation.
Good luck and I’ll hope you can enjoy the last days of vacation.
EDIT: Added a missing word in the second to last paragraph so the sentence would make more sense.
Go out. Find somewhere away from your family where you can spend a day or two alone with yourself – go to museums, or the beach, or the zoo, or just do some sightseeing. You’re on vacation, and you deserve it. Pamper yourself.
There was a post on this sub a year or two ago by a woman who liked to take “reading vacation” – she’d go to a city she’d never been to before, find a nice café, and sit there to read a good book. The very idea sounds so awesome, I’m sad I didn’t have it myself. If that’s something you’d like to do, why not try it? They’re not talking to you, so leave them behind.
You booked your holiday for you to relax, not look after kids. Your sister is selfish AF and your mum is just as bad. Why doesnt your mum entertain the 2 year old since she was the one who invited them?
For the remainder of your holiday, get up on a morning and go somewhere for the day, a different beach, sightseeing, a museum, a water park. **Anything that you want to do!**
You were initally going to go alone before asking your mum if she’d like to join you so just spend the rest of your time being on vacation and doing what you want.
NTA
Your mom is also a massive asshole.
Actually your sister is an entitled B and there is no way I would stand by and let her stay on this vacation.
What I don’t understand is how your sister and 2 kids were able to go on vacation with you at such short notice (I know you paid) I am assuming you drove or took the train as flights can be crazy at short notice.
Spend as little time with them as you humanly can, go and enjoy YOUR vacation without the freeloaders.
You do not have to entertain your nephew at all, your Mother and Sister are quite capable of doing that themselves. You are not ruining your sisters vacation, she is ruining yours. You paid for it, she invited herself along when she wasn’t welcome.
Why did you pay for your sister? Why didn’t you just go do stuff without your sister?
Je kan daar wel met een lang gezicht gaan zitten. Dat heeft alleen niet veel zin toch,?
In a previous post of yours regarding a vacation the second child was older?
They’ve conspired to ruin your holiday, you don’t owe your sister another second of your time.
Just go! and stop sitting in the hotel room.