As the severe pain clawed at her, each moment felt like a cruel test of her strength and will. The urgency in her mother’s voice was a stark contrast to the indifference she faced, highlighting a painful reality where love and care seemed to falter just when she needed them the most.
My boyfriend (M 20) and I (F 21) live together at my parents. I have been having some pretty bad UTI symptoms and went to a walk in clinic 2 weeks ago when I had clear signs of a uti and they sent me home and said I tested negative.
I woke up a week later with extreme hip pain. I spent all day on a heating pad and crying. 2 more days pass and then I woke up with the worst abdominal pain I’ve ever had. I begin screaming and call my mom.
She says to wake up my boyfriend and tell him to take me to the nearby hospital (7 min) that is small, or one that’s 35 minutes away that would properly handle what was going on. I wake him up and he says just sleep it off.
At this point I’m in tears. He says no and alludes that I’m overreacting (which I’ve been known to do) and it’s probably nothing because I tested neg. I feel as if I’ve been stabbed and this is not the type of pain I can wait out.
I even compare how I’m feeling to a possible bladder rupture because of how awful I felt.
Finally he agrees to take me, but only if I let him sleep for 2 more hours. I understand that if it was some ungodly time, but it was currently 11:30 am , and he went to bed at 3 am after playing video games.
I explain that I can’t wait that long and have no one else home to drive me. He turns over and lays back down.
An hour goes by of the worst pain of my life and I decide I will just try to suck it up and drive myself to the nearby ER. I woke him up one more time and I explained that I cannot wait any longer and need to go now because something is wrong.
He snaps and says give him one more hour and lays back down. I storm off in my car and make it about 2 blocks before I realize I forgot my wallet and I was in no state to drive, as I was literally in so much pain I couldn’t focus.
I come home and lay down in bed beside him as I scream out in pain. He says that I know it takes time for him to wake up and I have no right to get mad. I barely utter out please take me to the one 7 minutes away because I’m scared.
I remind him that I’ve driven 2 hours at 3 am on no sleep just to pick him up from the hospital and spent the whole summer helping him recover from his injury including bathing and wiping him because he needed me.
He argues some more then FINALLY at 2:30 pm takes me to the hospital 7 minutes away. It turns out I had an advanced UTI and infection in my bladder and kidneys as well as a kidney stone that was infected.
I felt bad as I recalled my attitude that morning but I was in a LOT of pain. I do recall saying things like “fine just don’t help then” and “you’re being a dick” in rebuttal to his attitude.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) experienced severe, escalating physical pain requiring immediate medical attention, yet faced significant resistance and delay from her boyfriend regarding transportation. The central conflict lies between the OP’s urgent need for care, which she felt she had to fight for, and her boyfriend’s prioritization of his sleep over her demonstrated emergency, despite her past support for him.
Given the clear medical emergency that resulted from delaying care, was the boyfriend’s refusal to drive the OP immediately an unacceptable failure to support his partner, or is the OP partly at fault for escalating the situation with aggressive language when under extreme duress?
Here’s how people reacted:
Hope you are feeling better and on the mend.
Abdominal pain of that severity is a medical emergency and should be treated as such. He didn’t care if you died as long as he got sleep. Delaying medical care is a huge cause of deaths that I see in my work. They wait until there is nothing we can do to help.
NTA. Absolutely. In a medical emergency every minute is a life-or-death or quality of life gamble. Ditch the bf because he doesn’t think your life is worth half an hour of his previous sleep.
Edit for judgement. Obviously NTA
First of all I hope this is a troll because can such a bad boyfriend exist?? Dump the whole man! Atleast that’s what I would do. What kind of person can ignore their partner who is in this much pain??
Also, you said you are “known to overreact”. Is this something you’ve actually noticed about yourself? Have people in your life told you that you tend to do that? Or was it just your boyfriend?
I had an ovarian cyst a couple of year ago and it was the worst pain I’d ever felt. Even worse than labor. My husband immediately took me to ER. He did end up falling asleep on the bed when I was taken for tests, but at least he took me.
NTA. And you need to ask yourself exactly what you’re getting out of this relationship, besides someone who tells you how dramatic you are.
It’s time to call it, girl.
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You called your Mom?
She told you to make your boyfriend take you to hospital and you’re mad at him?
Why the Feck didn’t YOUR MUM WHO LIVES WITH YOU TAKE YOU TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL??
Yeah your BF sucks…. But so does your Mum!
Screaming and crying in pain? A person who can ignore that is not the one for you.
I take it cab etc weren’t an option? You can’t rely on this guy so you need to have alternatives.
You were in pain and asked to go to the hospital, why your partner didn’t hop up like there was a fire under him is concerning, and sounds like you need a new boyfriend- one that actually cares about your well-being
What bothers me is you’re defending boy, and you state here “I’ve been known to over react”
Do you really? Or does HE tell you that you do?
When you’re feeling better, perhaps reconsider your relationship. The callous disregard for your health is astonishing.
I hope you have a swift and uneventful recovery.