What should have been a moment of understanding turned into a harsh confrontation, where love felt overshadowed by doubt and frustration. His refusal to trust her words fractured the fragile peace of their marriage, leaving her to question not just the missed call, but the very foundation of their bond.
Hello, me (24F) and husband (36M) have been married for two years. I don’t know what came over him, but last week he yelled at me for not picking up his mom’s call. I was in the kitchen at the time washing rice and I genuinely didn’t hear the call.
My husband was in the washroom so he didn’t hear it either. She called him three times. Later when he saw the call he got mad at me since I was in the living room, so I could’ve easily picked up the phone that was in the living room.
I really would’ve done that if I actually heard it.
But he said I was making up excuses and if some speaker was in my ears for me to not hear the ringing. Honestly whenever I wash rice, the noise of the water coming through the tap is just so loud.
Even if someone were to tell me something standing close, I wouldn’t hear half of it. But he didn’t believe it and just kept getting louder. He said I’m disrespecting his mom. He said I need to pay more attention to my surroundings and not have my head in some imaginary world.
I was already upset because of how loudly he was speaking to me, so I raised my voice too and asked why he didn’t just take his phone with him to the washroom. But out of nowhere he just raised his hands at me and I’m not even kidding he said “Shut your mouth.” He’s never said that to me before so I was beyond taken aback.
And then he said he regrets marrying me.
We haven’t spoken to each other over the week. He’s ignoring me. I was expecting a sorry but he is acting as if I don’t live in the same house. Now I don’t even know if he means what he said or if I did something wrong or if I should just apologize.
Right now, my thoughts keep circling back to him saying he regrets marrying me, so I was considering a divorce. I haven’t told my parents what happened but I did call my friend and cry for a while.
She said that was rude of him but it’s better to not make it into a huge issue like divorce. AITAH? What do I do now?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is in a state of severe distress, struggling with her husband’s extreme reaction to a missed phone call, which escalated to verbal abuse and a declaration of regretting their marriage. The central conflict lies between the OP’s genuine explanation for not hearing the phone and her husband’s rigid expectation that she should have prioritized answering his mother immediately, leading to a complete communication breakdown.
Given the husband’s aggressive escalation, including yelling, physical gestures, and stating regret over the marriage, the core question remains: Does this single, intense incident represent a severe breach of marital trust requiring separation, or is it an isolated emotional outburst that warrants immediate de-escalation and reconciliation efforts? Should the OP demand an apology, or is the statement about regretting marriage too damaging to move past?
Here’s how people reacted:
1. Of course, everyone is jumping on the age difference (typical Reddit discourse); not the issue here.
2. Is something going on with is mom that he’s awaiting news (illness, death in family, etc.); not excusing the situation but just wondering.
3. It seems like once you decided to raise your voice that he escalated to threatening to get physical; again, not condoning it.
4. And as Reddit does everyone is clamoring for divorce. Try to talk it out first, see if there’s some underlying issue(s) and then go that route.
Imagine if you burnt the toast.
Give him back to mom, then he won’t miss any of her calls (not blaming mom everybody).
LEAVE, seek an attorney, tell your friends & family so they can support you through this because believe me, he WILL try to get you back & you WILL need your voices (friends/family), of reason to talk you down should you consider going back.
I’m afraid for you……. Imagine that🤔…..all that disrespect & intimidation over a phone call smh.
If you’re even considering that you’re at all in the wrong then he’s already gotten to you. Get some help before he escalates things further. Shouting and threatening your wife isn’t normal behavior. You’ve married a child with anger problems.
Your husband sounds potentially dangerous and at the very least he’s incredibly demanding and unreasonable. Is this the life you want?
Absolute fanny taking it out on you that he can’t keep track of his own phone, is he 36 years or 36 months?
Either way the comment about regretting marrying you would have me talking to divorce attorneys ESPECIALLY if kids aren’t involved!