AITA for going to work after being told I needed to babysit which meant my dad’s wife had to cancel her appointment and and be with my half siblings?

The original poster (OP), a 17-year-old male, was scheduled to work on a Saturday. On Thursday, his father’s wife, Heather, informed him that he needed to call out of work because she had a doctor’s appointment and someone needed to watch their three young half-siblings (all aged 3 and under). The OP refused, stating they needed to find someone else.

The OP’s father later told him his job was more important than the OP’s, that the OP should enjoy being a big brother, and pressured him to call out. When Saturday arrived, Heather insisted the OP watch the children starting at 8 AM for her 9 AM appointment. Instead, the OP left early for work, skipping breakfast at home. Upon returning at 3 PM, he faced yelling from Heather and later a lecture from his father about missing the appointment, but the OP remains resolute in his decision and feels no regret.

AITA for going to work after being told I needed to babysit which meant my dad's wife had to cancel her appointment and and be with my half siblings?

This happened Saturday. I (17m) was scheduled to work. On Thursday Heather (dad’s wife) told me I needed to call out Saturday because she had a doctors appointment and someone had to babysit my half siblings (3 of them 3 and under).

I told her I wasn’t calling out and she’d need to find someone else. My dad works Saturday’s and he told me his job was more important than mine and I didn’t need to be so locked in on work and school that I ignore my ‘family’ anyway so I should call out of work and enjoy the day of being a big brother.

I told him I wasn’t doing that and I’m going to work whether they like it or not.

My dad left the house way early Saturday morning and then Heather told me her appointment was for 9 and she was leaving at 8 so I would watch the kids. Instead I skipped breakfast and left for work early and ate breakfast somewhere else.

Heather was getting ready when I left. She tried calling me but I kept walking lol.

I got 10 calls from Heather before those stopped and then around lunch I got 5 calls and 4 texts from dad saying I was supposed to babysit and did I realize I cost Heather her appointment.

I ignored his calls and texts. I got home around 3 and Heather was yelling and cussing me out saying I knew she had the appointment. My only response was she knew I wasn’t calling out of work.

She tried to take my phone but I refused to hand it over.

Dad got home around 7 and he was pissed too. He lectured me on leaving Heather without someone to babysit and on not taking the time to be there with my half siblings. He told me I might not want to be with them but as a member of the family and a member of the household I owe it to everyone to contribute and to make time to help out.

He said my half siblings didn’t deserve to be walked out on like that and Heather didn’t deserve to miss a doctors appointment because I’m spiteful that he remarried and they want us to be a real family.

He told me I need to start working on family relationships before I have none left. Then yesterday morning they expected me to apologize or to act remorseful but I’m not. I have zero regrets and I went to work as normal yesterday.

The reason I focus so hard on work and school is I do not want to live with them a second longer than I have to. I’m saving to get out and go no contact and I work every chance I get.

My dad’s aware of what I’m up to but I don’t think he really believes I’m serious about it but I am.

AITA?

Here’s how people reacted:

Late-life-edit

NTA. I’m going to guess that your home situation is horrid and it’s not just a matter of you resenting your father’s attempt to have a life. He’s entitled to have a life. But he’s not entitled to ruin your future for the benefit of his second chance. I’m going to make one suggestion here (all the things everyone wrote about getting your documents, credit locked down, etc–very good advice) and my suggestion is this: Consider joining the military. I’m far from being a hawk, but in my work I have seen many, many young people with few family resources get incredible benefits from being in the military. You can be trained for a career area you might like to pursue on the outside, you can go to college without taking out loans, and you can have a supportive environment to continue to grow through your young adult years. If you don’t complicate your life by getting married and having children too soon, you can use the military to have experiences and opporunities you will never get from your family. Just a suggestion.

Emotional_Salad_94

NTA.
1. Not your kids, not your responsibility(while yes that’s entirely up to you if you want to help out or not, you said no they should’ve planned appropriately.

2. Poor planning on their part doesn’t equal an emergency on yours.

3. I have 3 kids. 3 and under. They come with me everywhere. It’s just the reality of having kids ?

4. It kinda sounds like your dad is trying to sabotage your plans to move out. If you don’t work, you don’t get paid, don’t show up for enough rostered shifts, you could face disciplinary action, you don’t work/don’t get paid/get fired you lose more money towards moving out and dear old dad loses his in house baby sitter…

rickthecabbie

If out is what you need, then do not let anything deter you from that path. Out is where you will meet other people who will verify for you, that your family is delusional. The promise that they will be there for you when you need them? You already know how much bullshit that is. What do you think? Is it probably all bullshit? For me, the answer was yes. Out was the place where I met people who accepted me as is, and loved me for no other reason than that I was me.

Do not let them convince you that you are a bad person for wanting to live your own damned Ife. Do not let them try to live it for you.I hope you find what you need, wherever you go.

VetGrandma666

What kind of doctor appointment is on a Saturday and why would it take her ALL DAY to go? Sounds like she’s the selfish one. If she wants to pop kids out continuously from her vagina then she needs to be responsible for them. Same with your dad. Has a kid who’s 17 and now has 3 under 3? Take some responsibility, dad, since you can’t wear a condom like a fucking adult.

Again, who has a doctor’s appt on Saturday???????

I think dad should be wondering about this himself instead of being pissed at you for not watching his kids while his new wife cheats on him.

thatladybri

NTA.
Those are not your children. It’s fine for them to have asked you if you were available to babysit during the appointment. It’s not fine that they expected you to call off work to babysit.
Heather should have taken her kids with her to the appointment or made other arrangements. It’s not your fault that they were ill prepared for this. She should not make appointments for days that your father is unavailable to babysit if she can not take the kids with her.

Bad planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on your part.

Better-Breakfast6627

NTA. I would’ve told dad and Heather that just because they chose to procreate carelessly doesn’t mean they get a free live in babysitter. Heather knew you had work and your dad knew you had work so why wasn’t there a backup plan? Oh that’s right, because they are selfish AHs. Now when OP moved out, then what? If dad knows how you feel towards your step family then why is it a surprise you don’t wanna do anything for them?

Condensed_Sarcasm

NTA. They’re not your kids, so they’re not your responsibility. She needed to find childcare before the last minute and set up an appointment when your dad could watch the littles.

I have 3 kids. They’re MY responsibility if I have an appointment. They either go with me or my husband takes an hour or so out of his day to stay with them.

Save up and leave as soon as you can. Don’t look back.

Updateme

FeauxGinger

Sooo, what doc opens on a Saturday? And makes appointments on Saturdays? No doc that I know. She probably pissed she missed her nail appointment not a doctor’s apt. Regardless, not your kids, not your responsibility.

Id tell dad that if he wants to save family relationships, he needs to find and hire a babysitter because being family doesn’t make you automatic backup childcare.

romancereader1989

NTA where did she go for an appointment with a doctor on a Saturday? Most doctors I know don’t make those except Urgent Care and those are not made way in advance. Her kids her problem to provide proper care. Her and your dad had more than enough time to get someone else lined up. I bet they did not want to pay someone else. Figured make you do it for free

lolitafulana

NTA, my family is close and we help each other out when one of us is bus we take turns. But it’s never, expected…. You are NOT a built in babysitter and it’s wild to think that they expect you to take care of the kids they chose to have.

They are the parents and they need to figure it out. They also need to respect that you have your life.

Ready_Set_Go_123

If she knew she had an appointment it would be asking you to get the day off from work timely, not calling out, that would be the responsible adult thing to do. They are irresponsible adults. NTA expecting a 17 year old to actually act with less responsibility in life and call out for a non-emergency.

MsSamm

NTA. If they really wanted you to feel like part of the family, Heather would have scheduled her appointment for when either you or your dad were off work. Scheduling it without even considering your schedule is very disrespectful, but it sounds as if you’ve seen this in other areas of your life.

RedHolly

This is actually a form of abuse called parentification. You are not their children’s parent and shouldn’t be expected to act that way. They can *ask* you to babysit (and hopefully pay you as well), but you have a right to refuse, especially if you have a job and are t given enough notice.

SuszieQ

Haven’t read all the comments but WHERE is the doctor that makes appointments on a Saturday morning? I am US based and this would be considered very rare! I think the step momma was pulling a fast one and wanting to meet someone or get away from her 3 kids under 3 to enjoy herself!

ImaginaryPie7696

Nta. You literally told them and what kind of impression is that on you to tell you to call out of work? Like they didn’t even ask you if you could go into work a little late!! Ridiculous.

Why do you want to move out so badly and go no contact?

I had to move out when I was 17 😢

Menelaure

NTA. If you are applying for college next year, make sure the correspondence (replies from colleges/universities, financial aid, etc.) don’t come to your parents’ home where they could destroy them in order to sabotage your chances and keep you home or near them.

Stoney_Wan_KaBlowme

NTA 18 and out.

Those aren’t your kids so they are not your responsibility. Telling you to call out of work to take care of the kids THEY CHOSE to have is ridiculous. They should have thought about their baby sitting needs before they kept popping out kids.

0512052000

You know what I had to do and many other parents out there do…. take the children with us to appointments. They decided to have more children not you. Your job is important and your dad encouraging you to do that is quite frankly shitty parenting.

MaryHadALittleLamb20

Does you dad not care about the relationship he has with you. His priority should be to mend that not dump you with their parenting responsibilities.

Why couldn’t his wife reschedule her doctors appointment to a more convenient time

mgelbabe

who has a doctors appt on a Saturday? This sounds fishy from the get go. She had a nail or hair appointment. No on has a dr appt on a Saturday….smh…She sounds like she wanted to dump the kids on you. Not your responsibility.

QuickMonth7009

NTA. They are grown-ass adults who can figure out their own lives. These are 2 adults who somehow need a 17 year old to figure out their childcare?

Keep your boundaries. Keep your head down. Get out as soon as you can.

GoddessofParadise

NTA. Calling out of work just to babysit does not set a good example for your employer, for you, and certainly not for your father whose hypocrisy knows no bounds since he himself works to probably stay away.

Silly-Yam-1135

Nta. You are not obligated to drop everything to take care of kids that are not yours. It is Heather’s responsibility to make sure she has someone scheduled to babysit, who ISNT working at that time.

River_Song47

Nta. They knew for days that you had to work and you told them you weren’t calling out. Their inability to plan ahead and find alternative childcare is not your fault.

suebeegoddess

What doctor has appointments on Saturdays?? I want to know so I can use them! I think she wanted a day to herself and think she was using that as an excuse!

warriorwoman534

Well I’m glad *someone* is an adult in this scenario. NTA, kid, stay focused and free yourself from Mr. $perm and Ms.Baby Machine ASAP.

castorkrieg

Your dad should stop shooting inside non stop. 3 of them below 3, it’s like sex is back on the menu the next day after giving birth.

AmazingCantaly

A dr appointment on a Saturday? Malarkey. Her plan was to meet her friends go shopping, lunch etc and ditch the babies with OP. NTA

JustAnOkDogMom

NTA. Her kids, her problem. Also, it was probably a hair or nail appointment. Doctor at 9 am on Saturday? Not likely.

greenpowerman99

Doctor’s appointments can be scheduled for any convenient time, especially when you’re paying for your appointment.

Carsok

Where do you live that there are doctor’s appointments on a Saturday??? I can barely get in during the week.

Unfair_Feedback_2531

Only exception would be if Heather was getting her tubes tied! I doubt they do that in Saturdays.

RandiLynn1982

NTA: it’s not your job to watch siblings. Do you have other family or friends you can live with?

SepiaToneHitchhiker

NTA and she was lying anyway. A preset doctor’s appointment on a Saturday? Sus.

celebirayne

Nta. Why can’t she take her kids to her drs appointment like most parents do.

Fearless-Age5158

Why couldn’t she take her children with her to her doctor’s appointment?

Connect-Yam5523

Who has a doctor appointment on a Saturday? Something is fishy here

jessicat62993

What doctors appointment would be on a Saturday?

Jazzlike_Adeptness_1

What doctor sees patients on a Saturday?

keithwaits

Why are you going to go no contact?

Conclusion

The original poster is facing a conflict between his commitment to his job, which serves as his exit strategy from the current living situation, and the expectations placed upon him by his father and stepmother to prioritize family obligations, specifically childcare for his younger half-siblings.

The central question is whether the OP was justified in prioritizing his work schedule over the childcare request made by his stepmother, or if his obligation as a household member, particularly regarding the missed medical appointment, required him to sacrifice his work shift.