Speaking as a parent myself I will say my child owes my nothing! I chose to have her. She did not choose to be born. As a parent it is your job/ burden to prepare your kids for life without you some day and help them become as successful as possible. If my daughter wants to help me through a rough time because she feels ive been a good mom to her, thats her choice. But id never expect or guilt trip her into assisting. You owe these people NOTHING. Allowing you to sleep in your car as a child, because 18 is still considered a child to me despite being “legally an adult” is a disgusting thing to do as a parent. Anything could have happened to you. Tell them to figure it out like you had to do. Funny how the rules dont apply to them when they are the ones in need of help and compassion. Anyone in your family who says you should help them, id say reach in your pocket & put your hand out to help them then if you have so much to say about it.

Please learn from my mistake. DO NOT give them money. Look at the pattern of behavior- not the words they are saying. If they want you to be kind to them, they shouldn’t have thrown you out to be HOMELESS at 18! That’s not parenting.

My father threw me out the day after high school graduation. (I was 17yo, he saw me hug or kiss my black bf at graduation). There were 15 wks until a full ride college scholarship with housing was waiting for me. I couch surfed and made it to college. However, I was stupid and have given my mother thousands of dollars over the years to cover big bills. I’ll never see a dime even though she says she will return it. It’s never gonna happen! That was 20yrs ago for me and I’m just now recognizing the pattern of behavior and have stopped listening to her words.

Grow up. Time to be the mature one. The adult, with compassion. You needed to move at or around 18 anyway. We all did, school, dynamics, life… It’s been years. They did what they did. Don’t give them everything they want, but do budget for a couple hundred dollars a month. Terms, walk away from repayment. You cannot provide payment if you don’t have any extra, it can stop at any time, for any reason. It’s not supposed to be more the necessary and temporary. Be the forgiving, adult in your life. On your terms, your way. As they are your parents and now as the adult in the room, your responsibility to help. If possible, as you can, on your terms.
“With Love.”

It’s ok to be cruel.

How will they learn to swim otherwise.

They could have given you a heads up,
They could have told you to prepare because on your 18th birthday your bed becomes a pumpkin.

Their sin isn’t just tossing you out.
It’s premeditated.

They did not even give you common courtesy a landlord gives his tenant that they have 30 days to evict.

So their bills?
They knew those were coming they probably should find a second job or something, sell their car or their house and sleep in their car.

Not your business.
You stopped being family at 18.
By their choice.

NTA.  Abusive parents always use the same lines yours did. zThey want you to forget all about your abuse so nobody will find out.

Tell them to get fucked and do not help them.  EVER.

Don’t balk at saying their crap back to them – “I stopped being famiky when you abandoned me,” and “of course you want me to forget what you did so nobody will know about it.”

Then tell them NO, and not to contact you ever again. If they do, you will consider it stalking. 

Best wishes to you. Live uour best life without those wastes of oxygen!

I bet they paint themselves the heroes in the story of kicking you out. Probably go round saying how you wouldn’t have landed on your own feet without them, etc. Convinced themselves and others it was ok because you had a car to sleep in, so it weren’t like you were really homeless in their point of view. Probably spun the story of how you needed that push, or you’d have been living with them forever.

NTA

NTA. They have some nerve, don’t they!

Tell them how you managed to survive after being kicked out with no money, no resources, etc. Then tell them they’re adults – it shouldn’t be all that hard for them to “figure it out.”

And the whole “fAmIlY” card is such bullshit! FaMiLy doesn’t kick their kids to the curb just because they turn 18.

18 is pretty young to toss out a kid, especially if they don’t have a plan/steady income. I could NEVER. (My son is 23 and had to move back home, I’m happy to help him out). Glad you got yourself sorted out! And no, I think you’re right to let your folks figure this out themselves. NTA.

NTA they tossed you out. Tell those family members who say your cold to pony up their hard earned money.

Glad you got your life together even without the help of your “parents”. They only want to be there when it is convenient for them.

NTA. They treated you like a stranger when you needed them most, now they’re shocked you’re not acting like their son? Actions have consequences. “Family helps family” goes both ways, and they dropped the ball first.

a. they are adults now, figure it out.

b. the extended family can give them THEIR money.

c. block all those losers, its not like they are every going to be someone you can rely on anyway.

NTA if kicking offspring out at 18 is their general rule. And why :now is a valid question that deserves an honest answer. If they were okay for six years, what had changed?