I’m going with ESH.

Your mom did the standard breeder thing of planning their child’s future before they were even out of diapers.

But to be fair she wanted a life of independence for you.

To be honest, you lucked out.

Hundreds of thousands of girls just like you didn’t luck out. They were raped, murdered, used, and abused. The best case scenario is that they ended up back in a dead end waitressing job with no independence and no prospects.

Your mother desperately didn’t want that for you. Your personal beliefs mean that you were able to emotionally handle situations which probably would have left your mother in therapy.

Maybe she feels shame and that is her burden to bear, but I suspect she also feels worry. Worry that your husband is going to grow tired of you and get a younger model, worry that he could go bankrupt and you wouldn’t have any skills to fall back on. Worry that her grandchildren might not be lucky like you were, might not be as strong as you were to survive that world.

Worry makes loving parents into tyrants.

Try treating your mom like a human being and she might return the favor one day.

This post feels a LOT to me like a direct reversal of one of the many, many (likely) fake AITA posts that have been popping up lately in which a hot, vapid housewife mom clashes with her uptight, “independent woman”-type daughter. It has every single hallmark of one of those posts, except with roles reversed. It’s even written in the same style as all the others. People have been pointing out these fake posts lately, so whoever is doing it just reversed the roles and from what I’ve read in this comment section people are buying it hook, line, and sinker.

ETA: See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/hkjn22/aita_for_telling_my_daughter_to_stop_taking_her/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) for another example of what I’m talking about, and check out the top comments for a list of other posts like it. Bonus: one of those linked posts has another super long list of similar posts in the comments section. I was too lazy to go through and link them all.

You know. Apparently this sub is full of fakes, but…this is the first one that really screams that to me.

Like. “Is my uptight mom wrong about me getting it on with yacht customers and meeting my one true love that way?” Kinda *screaaaams* fanfic.

If it’s real? Whatever. Power to you—as long as you and hubs are cool and happy, then yay! All that matters. And F your mom. Like. Lol. I’ve lived some crazy BS. And my parents are basically to the point of, “whatever, ok cool, you’ve put us through so much shit that we have zero surprise anymore.”

ESH. Your mom is an asshole for pushing her values on you when you are a grown woman in an 18 year relationship, raising your own kids, and you clearly have made your choices. But you kinda suck because you’re stunted in your 18-year-old identity of being a rebel, doing the opposite of what your pushy mom wants you to do, and rubbing it in your mom’s face in a passive aggressive way. Move on already, not for her sake but for your own. Remember that your kids watch how you behave, and they may do the same to you one day.

NTA

>we’ve been very happy for eighteen years

I think it’s pretty clear that your relationship is more than just a bit of fun at a party, and your husbands response also suggests to me that you two have a strong relationship. Your mother sounds like she cares more about appearances than your happiness, but there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You lived the way you were happy and found your husband along the way, she should be happy for and proud of you.

ESH. Mom was overbearing despite good intentions, and drove OP out. OP chose to tell all the details of the start of her relationship, not as a heart-to-heart, but in a manner that would be hurtful to her mom. OP could have just said “met at a boat party from mutual acquaintances” and left it at that. Husband wanted to start some more shit by claiming prostitution. (Edit) New step-dad was caught in the middle.

I’m probably going to get downvoted for this, but I think ESH. Your mother is obviously way too judgmental but I think you said that to provoke her and make things uncomfortable. I’m sure I’m front of new people you often say you met your husband at a party, or that you were a hostess at the party (which is true), but if you chose to say you were paid to be hot on a yacht with rich men.

ESH just stop visiting each other you already said you hate eachother and it seems like you go out of your way to make her feel like that. So just cut eachother out already its better than a fake relationship like after what you said why keep going there? Its unfair and unhealthy to BOTH of you.

INFO:

What exactly did you say to your mother’s husband? I really can’t imagine why any variation of “we met on a yacht during a party” or “we met back when I used to work on a yacht” would be upsetting or scandalous.

>I’m not going to lie and say it has nothing to do with looks, but they were my looks to do whatever i want with.

This has nothing to do with anything. You sound like an asshole in general.

>My husband thinks I should have lied and said it was full on prostitution, but he’s kind of an ass.

INFO In what way would this have been a lie?

After 18 happy years together I’d say that it isn’t and wasn’t just your looks that brought you together.

And I like your husbands take on it.

I don’t really know how to judge this but I can’t really blame your mother for being disappointed you were a prostitute and don’t have a job.

As an Asian your mother sounds completely normal. Also ESH if you embellished on the yacht girl aspect. NTA if not.