Caught between loyalty and honesty, he wrestled with the weight of her bold advances and his own commitment. The night became a crucible of raw emotion, revealing the fragile lines between friendship, desire, and respect.
Yesterday, I (24M) attended a party. There were many of my old friends there. One of the girls, 25?, was someone who I was close to growing up but lost contact with after.
The two of us reconnected and talked. She was drinking a bit, although I didn’t. Later on, she was putting her arm around me, holding my hand, etc, which I stopped because I have a girlfriend and I told her so.
Then, she asked, “If you weren’t taken, I bet we’d be together right now.” It was a bold thing for her to say and I guess it must have been the alcohol talking. I just responded, “Nah don’t think so.” She was offended and asked me why.
I just said “you’re not my type”. She asked me WHY she wasn’t my type, and I was tired of her bugging me, so I said, “You’re just not what I’m attracted to.”
She got mad at me. She said, “Oh I get it, you’re attracted to coked up skeletons like your girlfriend.” Referring to the fact that my girlfriend is tall and skinny. I got defensive and said, “Well Im not attracted to fat basic bitches like you.” Granted, she’s not even fat, just thick/chunky.
But she does overdo the spray tan and she looks like every basic girl ever. I guess a lot of guys are after that look but not me.
She called me a cunt and later her friends found her in the bathroom crying. People are villifying me but she practically pushed me to it, especially insulting my girlfriend like that.
I stand by what I said though, and she should know that her words have consequences.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is currently facing backlash after engaging in a heated verbal exchange with an old friend at a party, where both parties exchanged significant personal insults regarding physical appearance, triggered by the friend’s advances while intoxicated. The core conflict arises from the OP’s defense of his relationship and his subsequent harsh response to the friend’s provocative comments, leading to emotional distress for her and social condemnation for him.
The debate centers on whether the OP was justified in responding with equally severe insults after being provoked, or if his defense of his girlfriend warranted a more measured, non-insulting response. Should individuals maintain restraint and avoid personal attacks, even when boundaries are tested or loved ones are insulted, or does severe provocation grant permission for a reciprocal, no-holds-barred retaliation?
Here’s how people reacted:
Nope. Sorry. She was being aggressive and rude. What goes around comes around.
Edit: spelling
So this girl knew you had a gf before hitting on you? She must have if she knows what your gf looks like.
If so, NTA. She sucks for body shaming your gf, she doubly sucks for making passes at a guy she knows is in a relationship, especially after he says no.
I don’t understand the ESH replies, no I don’t.
You know it’s impossible to selectively call only one person fat, right? The moment you called her fat, you called every woman her size fat. There were probably very nice girls at that party who you insulted for absolutely no reason that night.