Man Questions His Decision To Rehome His Cat Because Of His Girlfriend’s Cat Phobia

He stood at a heartbreaking crossroads, torn between the love for his girlfriend and the unwavering bond with his seven-year-old cat. What began as careful compromises spiraled into an impossible demand: choose between the woman he loved and the loyal companion who had been by his side through years of life’s ups and downs.

Their love story unraveled not with anger, but with quiet sorrow, as therapy sessions revealed that healing meant loss for him. In the end, the cat’s innocent eyes held the silent weight of a relationship sacrificed, leaving a man to grapple with the painful cost of trying to hold onto both worlds.

Man Questions His Decision To Rehome His Cat Because Of His Girlfriend's Cat Phobia

My GF of two years is scared of cats, and I mean REALLY scared of cats. I have had this cat for 7 years. At first when she came to my place I had to take the cat outside, close all windows or doors and make sure my cat didn’t sneak up to play with me or something like that.

Long story short, she couldn’t take it anymore and told me that she feels really uncomfortable knowing that there is a cat lurking around and that she wouldn’t come to my place again if I didnt get rid of my cat.

We tried therapy but it looks like the therapy is for me to cope with the loss of my pet.

I don’t want to give my cat away so last saturday we talked about this and broke up ..Now I feel like shit for ruining my relationship. AITA?

[Kitty](https://i.imgur.com/oBgaopm.jpg) not knowing what is going on 🙁

Here’s how people reacted:

bluememer

I have a severe phobia and I cant sleep when I saw a lot of the thing I have a phobia on during the day, Im gonna go with NAH but try to understand your gf, I can feel her kind of, phobias are a severe mental illness most people dont understand. My parents were really rude about my phobia growing up (it started when I was 4-5) and I still havent forgiven them.

Edit: I just realised you said you 2 broke up but please talk to her there is always a solution, I understand her and I understand how much people love pets but try to work it out, even if she tries therapy she can get better but you cant remove a phobia. Maybe make a compromise or something.

Dragonartist93

NAH phobias are hard to break and its understandable that she doesn’t want to. However, you dont just abandon your pet either. You two are incompatible and you need to tell her as much.

Edit: I missed the part where you broke up. My verdict is the same but seriously, dont beat yourself up. You two wouldnt have worked out. You would have probably held a lot of regret and anger had you adopted out your cat.

Sport_Ancient

NTA. One of the shitty things about life is that sometimes relationships end *even though you care about each other*, because you just couldn’t overcome a basic incompatibility — like someone not wanting kids, or someone wanting to live in a different country, or someone being an asshole who expects people to abandon their pet in order to cater to their untreated phobia.

PhoenixRisingToday

NTA The fact that you lasted 2 years is astonishing. Being that afraid of a cat is not normal. Plenty of people don’t care for cats – but to be so afraid that you can’t even be in a house where a cat lives (but isn’t currently there) is something that should be addressed by counseling.
Don’t look back. You will find a girlfriend without that level of dysfunction.

_CactusBlossom_

NTA.

OMG THAT CAT IS SO PRETTY.

I get that phobias are irrational and often can’t be cured but she must understand that pets are family and can’t be thrown out the door.

When I was on dating apps one of the first things I asked was if anyone had cat allergies. My kitty and I are a package deal so there’s no point of going any further if my cat won’t be accepted.

Ixi7311

NAH. Pets are forever. You’ve had your cat for five years longer than your gf and I’m not sure why you perused a relationship for so long with a huge red flag for both of you. You didn’t ruin anything and neither did she unless she led you to believe that she would work on her phobia while you were together. You guys were simply incompatible.

AJEstes

NAH – she did try to come to terms with her phobia, and you genuinely love your pet of many years. There was an incompatibility there. That’s just life. Sometimes it can be a simple thing that can prevent a long relationship. The world is huge and there are so, so many people in it. Time will come when there is someone for you and your cat.

Diabeetses

I don’t even think this belongs in the NTA/YTA world (not that I’m saying it should be removed). Simply, you made a choice based on your own analysis of the situation. It’s like asking AITA if I ordered fries instead of onion rings with my burger.

timeTo_Kill

NTA, it sounds like your living situation is not compatible. It’s not reasonable for your girlfriend to expect you to get rid of a treasured pet.

It’s a sad thing but I think you made the best choice with the options you had.

CermaitLaphroaig

NAH, leaning towards NTA. But phobias are legit, so I don’t think she’s in the wrong per se. Just that she shouldn’t be dating a dude with an animal she’s terrified of. I have sympathy for you both though

the_last_basselope

NTA. You did not ruin the relationship. Her phobia did. She is, and has been, fully aware of her fears and feelings and, as such, she should not enter into relationships with people who already have cats.

sharperview

NTA for keeping the cat.

YTA for letting the relationship with no future go on for two years. You have a cat – she is afraid of cats. Did you really think it would work ?

VorVixen

NTA, kitty was there first, and gf sounds like she needs the therapy if she is going to freak out about being anywhere near a cat.
Your cat is freakin adorable btw

SimplyNRG

She thought it was a better idea for you to give away your BF of 7 years as opposed to her getting therapy for an irrational fear…100% you are NTA…

pataconconqueso

ESH

You both pursued a relationship with a huge deal breaker for the both of you, basically y’all wasted your time with each other.

Jendi2016

NAH

Pets are forever commitments and your gf can’t help her phobia. It sounds like you two are just incompatible right now.

ostentia

NAH. Neither of you “ruined” the relationship–a relationship doesn’t have to be ruined to just plain not work out.

NZafe

NTA. But personally if I had to choose between a pet of 7 years or a girl I’m choosing the pet 10/10 times.

foreverwetlettuce

Omfg, look at this cat.

Keep the cat, and find someone else who loves your kitty as much as you do.

Conclusion

The Original Poster (OP) experienced significant distress following the breakup, feeling responsible for ending a two-year relationship. The central conflict involved the OP’s unwillingness to part with a long-term pet, the cat, while the girlfriend’s severe phobia made visiting the OP’s home unbearable for her.

Was the OP justified in prioritizing their long-standing bond with their pet over continuing a relationship where the partner could not comfortably exist in their primary living space, or should the OP have sought a compromise or accepted the loss of the pet to save the relationship?