NTA for reminding everyone that they aren’t required to do something like that. The jokester probably should be “reprimanded” because that’s a bit of a dick move making a joke around a pretty sensitive subject.

Out of curiosity, was this request made in a “reveal which gender you identify as by adding your pronouns” type of pressure-y way? Or a “normalize the discussion by having cis people clarify their pronouns the same way society expects non-cis people” type of way? Because one could be their way of getting around discrimination laws, not having to outright ASK someone, and is definitely a problem…but one could be their poorly worded/executed attempt at inclusivity. Not that it matters in judging this scenario, but it’s something to consider

EDIT: clarity. I mistakenly put sexuality where I was actually referring to gender identity.

NTA – the female employees are the assholes for sending that group email. That’s is something they should have discussed with their superiors first and if allowed, the superiors should be the ones responsible for communicating that request to their team. I work in a team of 10 that includes our lead and our manager, if anyone on our team had pulled that stunt they would’ve been reprimanded for overstepping their position. My manager would have also responded the same way you did. with a simple “no.” Not only is she a very short person by nature but she always keeps things concise and gives an answer to the question without elaborating. That style of communication may not be preferable to some people, I know it took me a bit of time to get accustomed to with her, but it is absolutely appropriate.

Manager here, also with HR experience.

The only thing you did in handling this which was not perfect was not treating her complaint as justified and listening to it. You should have acknowledged that the guy was wrong to mock her and that you’ll pull him up on it (which you should).

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Besides that you’re keeping your team compliant, giving the freedom to express it to those who want to and supporting your statement with established written policy. Literally just deal with the girl feeling mocked and you’re good. If she isn’t willing to accept that others won’t bend over backwards for her she’ll have the same struggle in another team. Either that or this is a reaction to feeling like her complaint – and therefore opinion – was dismissed.

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NTA. But deal with the complaint!!

YTA.

Fine, I’m jumping in with a judgement.

No, NO ONE should be *forced* to disclose pronouns. Your company should have a policy in place for an accepted means to disclose pronouns in email signature, however.

The “your/majesty” isn’t illegal. I agree. However, legality certainly isn’t the yardstick by which to determine if a manager should intervene!

Would you intervene if an employee gave a client the middle finger? That isn’t illegal, either, but is an obvious insult.

Edit: and “girls.” Do you call the same-aged male employees boys? Look, I get the feeling you truly think you are good guy. You probably truly mean well. What you describe is not how a respectful, professional manager operates this day in age, though.

NTA

> No one did except one guy who put in joke pronouns and the girls complained to me. I told them he’s not violating any policy either and I’m not going to get involved

However, I would intervene here. It’s inappropriate and unprofessional to mock the idea that someone might want/need to specify their pronouns, and this guy should be asked to remove them from his signature. I’m not sure what pronouns he used, but if he used she/her or they/them, how might a non-binary or trans person in the office feel if those were their ACTUAL preferred pronouns (regardless of whether or not they are out or feel comfortable requesting them in the workplace) and this guy thinks it’s funny to use them as the butt of a joke?

NTA. im a trans person and these two sound like pretentious sjw’s who are just virtue signaling. can you ask them how forcing everyone to state their pronouns in a business email materially helps trans or gender non conforming people? if you are trans and nobody knows, are you supposed to just out yourself? or do you purposefully misgender yourself? what the fuck, i cannot see how something like this could ever help me. unironically virtue signaling.

this is just two cis people feeding their ego and probably making the work place harder to navigate for any trans and gnc people who may actually work there. they are the assholes.

So for me, I would have an issue with this for an entirely different reason. I’m a female in a field that is 95% male. I’ve worked really hard in the past 20 years to get the focus off my gender in business interacts and focus on the actual matter at hand. My name is fairly gendered although I have met a few males with my name so it could be ambiguous. I wouldn’t want to include pronouns because I know that sometimes men don’t take women seriously or tend to be less trusting of our professional judgement. I in no way wish to emphasize in a work email to someone I haven’t met in person that I’m female.

NTA but not sure you handled the employee who added the joke signatures In the best way, don’t you think it might be appropriate to do something about that, not because of any company policy, but just due to it being unprofessional and mocking/hostile to the other employees that sent the original email? Also another managerial tip, it’s generally frowned on to refer to female employees as “girls” unless these are high school summer jobs.

Nta. As a trans person, them putting their pronouns in their signature would be comforting, that people would probably be cool if I put they/them. Them asking everyone to do it feels waaaay too stressful, like I’d be forced to choose between outing myself (and probably answering questions) to everyone I talk to, or lying.

YTA.

Not for the initial email, but for the unwillingness to respond to the joke.

Assuming you don’t actually have a desire to keep your pronouns a secret, putting them out as an example was a perfectly fine compromise. And it sounds like you were obnoxious about it.

NTA.

The bigger question is how long are you going to allow these two people to try and distract from whatever the company mission is. They need to stop wasting time and energy of things that are obvious distractions

NTA and I’m glad you put that out there for your employees. I don’t feel entirely comfortable with putting my pronouns in my signature but I went along with it. I wish someone had championed the side of privacy.

NTA. I’m looking forward to this “state your pronouns upfront” nonsense to die and be buried in an unmarked grave.