But beneath the surface, betrayal was quietly unraveling everything. The stolen money, secret accounts, and cruel words hidden in messages shattered her world, revealing a truth more painful than she ever imagined. The man she loved was planning to abandon her and their unborn child, leaving her to face a heartbreaking reality alone.
I (26F) found out I was pregnant with my (27m) boyfriend. I was about 2 months pregnant when everything happened. I was with my boyfriend for about 8 years, I thought everything was going well and that we had the perfect relationship.
When I found out I was pregnant I was over the moon. My boyfriend seemed to be excited too. I noticed that money from our bank account started to go missing and asked him about it.
He said he made a separate account for the baby. I was dumb and believed him. I checked his phone a few days later and saw that he had a fake snapchat account. I looked through the messages and he was sending money to women for nudes.
I also saw him crap talking me and our unborn child to one woman. It was apparent that they had met up a few times to hook up. He was saying how he planned on leaving me after the baby was born and how I “baby trapped” him and he wanted nothing to do with the baby.
I gave it a few days without confronting him but I decided I wanted to get an abortion. I went through with it and told him that we were done because I knew everything. He asked him about the baby and I said I got an abortion.
He freaked out on me asking how I could do this to him. I told him it wouldn’t be fair for it to grow up in a situation he created and knowing that its father didn’t love them. I feel numb.
He’s been blowing up my phone for the last few days calling me a bitch. I feel terrible and regretful for doing it but I don’t think it would be fair to put them in a situation where I cannot raise them or go through this pregnancy alone.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is experiencing deep emotional turmoil, oscillating between the shock of betrayal and the pain of a difficult choice. Her central conflict lies between her desire to protect herself and her unborn child from a toxic, deceitful partner, and the deep regret she feels over the decision to terminate the pregnancy, which she viewed as necessary under the circumstances created by her boyfriend.
Given the revelation of the boyfriend’s active deception, plans to leave, and public denigration of the OP and the child, was the OP’s decision to have an abortion a justifiable act of self-preservation and ethical protection for the potential child, or did her boyfriend’s actions, however wrong, remove her right to choose the path of continuation?
Here’s how people reacted:
I once was in your situation and I … was also sad. The what ifs never stopped.
It’s not alone the regret of doing it, it was more like the regret of getting pregnant in the first place. I wasn’t careful enough and had to face the consequences.
I wrote my feelings down, but it didn’t help. A good friend of mine got pregnant a few months later and I drove her to the abortion clinic. A week after we went to a Cafe and while we were sitting there she asked me what I did think of the waiter. He was latino. Then she told me he was the father, and she aborted twins.
He didn’t not even greeted her or smiled in her direction. I sat there and thought about how unfair the World is. That guy didn’t even want to look at her, it was just a few times, she told me. And he would never know that he made twins with her. That – if she had decided otherwise there would be twins.
We women are screwed. I’m sorry and I’m sorry that no words can help you feel better. It is what it is.
I think you were very brave, not many women have the courage to go through with it. It would have been a nightmare to have a child with this AH. Be glad that you never have to see him again, never have to look into the face of your child that looks like him. It’s done. Mourn, take your time. It will get better with time.
>I looked through the messages and he was sending money to women for nudes. I also saw him crap talking me and our unborn child to one woman. It was apparent that they had met up a few times to hook up. He was saying how he planned on leaving me after the baby was born and how I “baby trapped” him and he wanted nothing to do with the baby.
>He’s been blowing up my phone for the last few days calling me a bitch.
Raising a child with a *loving* partner is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. You did the right thing, and I’m glad you escaped this clown.
This is a horribly sad situation and of course you feel terrible! The whole trajectory of your life just changed because you discovered that the man you loved and thought loved you was out there cheating, badmouthing you, and planning to leave you a single mother! You didn’t really have any good choices here, so I think you would have regrets either way. And I think that your reasons are extremely sound.
I hope you find peace. And block that dbag.
You even have the audacity to make him be the reason for abortion. It would be unfair to a child to grow up without a loving father, but it is not unfair to kill it without giving it love and a chance to have a happy future. Women like you should tie your tubes as soon as possible. You would be terrible mothers.
You gave him the freedom and proof that you weren’t trying to baby trap him.
NTA
You prevented yourself from being a single mom with a deadbeat dad who would weaponize your kid and use them to pick up ladies if they thought it would help their “game”. You found out he wasn’t trustworthy and now you can move on.
I’m more pro-life than pro-choice.
>I told him it wouldn’t be fair for it to grow up in a situation he created and knowing that its father didn’t love them.
YTA. I find this reasoning disgusts me. It sounds like euthanasia to me.
I think it’s sad that the pro-choice lobby is so communist that alternatives to abortion advertising did not reach you. I think you’d have been a good candidate for it.
I know it is hard and you are questioning your decision right now. Trust the internet stranger when I am telling you, you have put yourself on the right path, hard as it is to walk
Block your ex and move forward.
He tried to baby trap you, not the other way around.
You would’ve been extremely miserable if you carried on and had his baby. He would’ve abandoned you and you would’ve been left to raise the child alone.
Plus he’s clearly not a good man and extremely disgusting to be doing what he’s doing so he’s not a good enough father role model for a child.
You did what was best for you. Proud of you. Stay away from that man, he obviously doesn’t care about you or your feelings. Men like this are peak disgusting misogynists.
You protected yourself and your future from having to deal with this person for the next 18 years.
Was he expecting you to happily become a single parent so he could flit in and out between his other women…you would’ve been the one with the majority of responsibility for this baby both mentally and financially
I fully expect to get torched here but somebody needs to speak up for the unborn.
Everything Will be good again.
But its okay to be sad both over the abortion and the failed relationship.
But remmember this is on him NOT you
Ask him how could he do that to you. Tell him that since you “baby trapped him” and clearly didn’t want anything to do with the baby, you gave him what he wanted.
NTA
You where the only person active in this relationship. He had already left without telling you.
I wish you nothing but the best.
But why is he mad when he was going to leave you with a newborn? Did you ask him that?
Better to block him.
So sorry you had to find out he’s a creep.
Regardless of what he thinks, it’s your body and you who chooses