Caught in the crossfire of love and duty, he grapples with feelings of betrayal and helplessness, his phone silenced by a sister’s fear and anxiety. The silence that once held hope now echoes with missed calls and shattered trust, leaving him to question whether he is the villain or the victim in this delicate family drama.
My sister (25f) was going to meet her dad (not my dad by the way) for the first time in almost 18/19 yrs and she was really nervous. She asked me to go with her for support. He was staying at some hotel about 30 mins away and the whole ride over there, my sister had my phone to give me directions.
My wife was calling me because she’d gone into labor. Then my MIL was calling me too. My sister put my phone on do not disturb without me knowing and erased the notifications.
I didn’t even realize it until after we were leaving from having lunch with him an hour and a half later that she’d been calling me. All my sister told me was I had a missed call (more like dozens).
When I found out I was yelling at her the whole ride to the hospital. She apologized many times. Her only excuse was this was a big emotional moment for her meeting her dad and she was scared doing it alone knowing how her anxiety is.
This was the only time they’d have to see each since he was leaving in a few days and wouldn’t be back for months. I really couldn’t believe it.
By the time we got there, my daughter had already been born a half hour. Don’t get me wrong I was so happy to know my daughter and wife were okay but I was also devastated to have missed the birth of my first child.
Couldn’t look at my sister, all I told her was to get an Uber to take her home because I didn’t want her near me right now.
My daughter is almost 4 weeks old and almost everyone (vaccinated) has come to see her. Last weekend my parents came over with my sister in the car but I said I don’t want her in my home right now.
They got mad and left early. I keep hearing it from my family that I’m being completely unfair treating my sister like an outcast by not letting her in my home. But I’m just still angry at her right now and don’t think I have it in me to be in her presence.
Conclusion
The original poster is deeply conflicted, grappling with intense anger and the devastation of missing his first child’s birth due to his sister’s actions. His current stance is one of absolute exclusion, refusing contact and barring her from his home, which directly conflicts with his family’s expectation that he should forgive her quickly and restore normal relations.
Is the poster justified in maintaining a severe exclusion of his sister weeks after the event to process his profound sense of loss, or does his refusal to allow reconciliation constitute an excessive and unfair punishment that damages broader family unity?
Here’s how people reacted:
~The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to apologize, the bravest. The first to forget, is the happiest.~
Wow, that is next level narcissism. The fact that she actually turned up at your house means that she has no clue or care of just what she has done. What if something had gone wrong or there had been a complication. Thank God it didn’t but just the thought that she knew your wife was heavily pregnant and she put your phone on do not disturb and deleted notifications. That is irresponsible beyond belief and utterly selfish.
She needs to back off and let you and your wife work through this. Your rage is absolutely understandable and if your parents don’t get that then maybe they need some time out too. Don’t they realise that you and your wife have lost a precious memory, not to mention the incredible stress and worry it probably added to your wife’s experience that she couldn’t reach you.
I’m actually angry on your behalf!
Edit: Thank you for the awards. If you’re spending money on Reddit, please stop and instead find an appropriate charity. In this case I recommend finding a local charity that supports new mothers and fathers.
a birth is a once in a lifetime event. There is no redoing it and even if your wife and in laws hopefully understood, it will never erase the feelings they had at the moment. Being rage or stress. I would be so worried that you’d have been in an accident if you don’t answer to that many calls while you know to keep your phone close around the birth due date.
your sister is owed nothing. She was the builder of her own misery
Enjoy your new baby. Tell your family to stuff it up their jumpers.
You need to focus on yourself, your wife, and your new baby right now. Don’t worry about anyone else! Although eventually you’ll have to decide whether you can forgive your sister and move past it, or if your relationship with her is over.
And congratulations Dad!
If you do not want to let her in, dont let her in.