I read a lot of “gf is ahole”. I do not agree. If she really likes you, she wants you to be in the kids life. If she’s opportunistic then maybe this is a thing. If you really like her and you feel she really likes you then why wouldn’t the kid be put into your life. It seems to me that Single mothers use men as life rafts. But this is a thing in the world – lots of relationships divorce. So a single woman wants a single man, but the single woman comes with an attachment. That is definitely a proviso YOU have to deal with, so these people hating on the girlfriend, you sleeping in your bed with her and the kid… I call 100% bull on them – 󾌬 them. They have no idea what her intentions are. Maybe they have past trauma for being touched. Seems to me that the girl lives in mothers house, and so the kid is stuck at home with the mother and obviously it’s her kid and her responsibility and you are now in their lives and she wants to be in your life and needs the kid to be safe and calm, so… What in the 󾌬 heare you supposed to do in that situation? I dated a girl with a 12 yr old. When he was younger she broke up with her babydaddy. As single mother, she forced the kid on her mother so often you could see in the mother‘s face when I asked questions about it. That girlfriend 10 years later was still very irresponsible about her kid. So is your girlfriend irresponsible? Do you want to be in the kids life? You have to sort out for yourself not from these assholes telling you to “dump the B”, do you want to be the kids stepfather? I met the woman when the kid was basically 12. I was in his life for a couple years, it was devastating when she 󾌬 died the relationship up and I didn’t have a connection to him anymore. I’m not a pedo. I’m not a creeper. I was basically the kids stepfather for a year and loved the kid as my own. I never had this before. And so, a four-year-old needs a lot of attention and help and love. Do you have it in you? All who said “she’s a stupid… “ Go 󾌬 yourselves!!! OP you have to decide what it is that you’re getting from this woman and giving to this woman and whether you wanna be with this woman before you can decide whether to support the kid. Know this, she comes with attachments. Man up or move on. Do you have it in you? And Persians to that.. is she worth it. If you’re a 󾌬 boi do not date women with kids.

Nope. Nta. Big red flags.

I don’t know what her issues are but none of this is the sign of a mentally healthy person.

Four months? A lot of people would say you shouldn’t have met the kid yet.

If he’s really crying daily to go to your place or to see you after a month he has attachment issues or his home feels less safe than a new place. Or is she lying to manipulate you?

She’s trying to move in and it’s way too soon.

Maybe she’s desperate and trying to do whatever she can to get into a good situation, for herself and her child. She might not even be consciously aware of what she’s doing and why, self awareness is not very common, but it’s so much more likely to end badly than it is to end well.

That poor child. It sounds like his mother is delusional.

NTA but it’s time to face reality. If it’s already weird for you, dating a single parent isn’t the right fit for your life. Nothing wrong with not wanting a kid around, but you have to accept that you can’t have her in your life without him so it’s time to move on. Dating people who already have kids means you have to deal with the dynamics of building relationships with their kids and balancing the dating life around the kids. That is a heavy responsibility if you are a child free person; especially early on in the relationship.

I am guessing she is coming to your place because she lives with her mother and doesn’t want to listen to her mother and is probably somewhat immature. The fact that she has her kid at your house and has only known you for four months, that’s a red flag to me.Going further on that thought and having her say it’s OK for you to sleep in the same bed as her son who is four when you’ve only known her for four months, that’s a major red flag. You might want to talk to her about this one.

I’m a single mother of 2 and 4 months together is craaazy and sleepovers and in the same bed after only knowing for a month is craaazier!! 100% express your concerns and your un comfort to her because that’s a boundary for her son she’s crossing.. she should be shielding him from possible harmful situations. Not putting him in them. Says a lot about her. Tell her and if she doesn’t agree then leave her immediately! It’s way too soon for all that!

Dating as a single parent is difficult. My guess is many commenting are not in that position. She is torn between your relationship and being a mom; she wants both. Can you create a safe place for the kid at your place? If not then he shouldn’t be there but also understand that she can’t be there either. It sounds like she’s looking for a husband and a family. Are you ready for that? If not, slow things down or cut her loose.

Look, you’re not overreacting, but you have to understand that dating a single mom means that you’re also auditioning to be step dad. I’m not saying she isn’t rushing things, but she’s a mom first and she’s probably seeing things differently. If you point out that it’s a one bedroom apartment, you’re just teeing things up for her to suggest a bigger place. Is it rational? No. But it fits her needs in a partner. 

You’re NTA, but, like, what are you thinking???!

What would her son be doing if she didn’t bring him to your place? A babysitter? Older siblings? Left alone?

Like, I get wanting privacy with a new girlfriend, but what do you expect her to do with a four year-old?

I think it’s really fucking bizarre that she would bring her kid around a brand new relationship. I’d reconsider how much you like this girl.

You’re dating only four months and she comes to your place and stays every single night? That’s weird itself but if you guys are that close then it makes sense that she’s bringing her kid what else is she supposed to do? You obviously need to have a chat. Because it seems like she and her kids have moved in.

Sounds like she’s slowly moving herself into your place and trying to get you a lot more comfortable with that idea. I would absolutely let her know you would like to slow things down, and her reaction to that should be a good indication on how to move forward in your relationship.

NTA. It may be time to set down some boundaries with her regarding bringing her son. If you’ve only been dating for 4 months, why is she bringing a 4 year old to your apartment, then expecting YOU to sleep in a bed with said 4 year old?

NTA. Tell your gf she needs to stop bringing her child over and you do not want to sleep in bed with a child.

Your gf may be giving you hints she wants to become a family. Either way, I’d sleep in my own bed.

Tell her straight up that you’re no longer sleeping on the couch. However, you can’t sleep on the bed with the kid. Simply put given the current circumstances. They both can’t spend the night. Go from there.

She sounds like a moron. Nothing against you – but that’s just not safe for the kid. She could easily date a predator who could prey on her son and she’d probably never know – or worse, defend the abuser.

That’s awfully quick… and asking a man to share his bed with her 4yr old son. Sounds like she’s staking out her space and normalizing this situation in order to accelerate the process. Red Flag.

You should be telling her not to come over so often. Not sure what you expect with her to do with her kid. Of course she needs to be with him. But spending every night with you is inappropriate.

NTA. She’s trying to force you be a family and you don’t even know her. This is the kind of chick that ends up w a ton of kids by different men. Get out before you become baby daddy #2🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Huge red flag that she introduced her kid to you at only 3 months. Everyone thinking it’s okay for her to introduce her child to a stranger and want them to sleep in bed together is nuts.

I wouldn’t be introducing anyone to my son that early in a relationship let alone having sleepovers. This sounds wild to me. She should have started out slow with some meets in public.

I think it’s wild that she would let a man sleep in the same bed as her child that she’s only known for four months. Sadly, I think that says a lot about her as a parent.

You’re good if you mean sometimes. If you mean all the time, then no, you need to understand the relationship you’re in. But it sounds like you just mean sometimes.

NTA

Also it sounds like you want something different than what this mom wants. You two need to have a serious conversation about where this relationship is going.

NTA. Why doesn’t the kid sleep on the couch and you sleep in the bed with your girlfriend? I’m sure he fits better on the couch than you do.

Get your head out of your butt and dump her or accept your fate as daddy.

You’re messing with a single mom that doesn’t have her own home.

She’s trying to ‘familify’ you. Turn you into Dad instead of her bf.

Put a stop to it now, or the two of them will be moving in.

NTA.

She wants you in the father’s role. Are you ready?

NTA, tell her straight cos this will get heavy faster than you think.

This woman just wants you to move her into your place. She wants free rent and a daddy figure for her son. End of story.

Why is she not going back to her place?

Does she live with her mom and would rather be at your place?

End it.

Definitely NTA but you have to end things, this seems verrryyy weird and inappropriate. I would love an update

She doesn’t sound like a good mom, and like she is using you for a place to stay.

She’s a child-parent and doesn’t like sitting home with mommie every night

At 4 months her son shouldn’t even know you exist. This is a red flag.

Too many red flags, run bro. There are other fish in the sea.

This girl and I stress girl lives with her mom doesn’t she.

Boy RUNNNNNN!!! You’re about to become a father lol

Sounds like things are moving too fast for you.

This is not the relationship for you.