The tension reaches a boiling point during a family gathering, where the boyfriend’s blatant disrespect shatters the fragile harmony. His refusal to apologize fractures the bond, leaving the woman torn between love and the sting of rejection. In these moments, the simple act of sharing a meal becomes a powerful symbol of acceptance, understanding, and the struggle to bridge hearts across cultures.
Hi! So I (24f) have a boyfriend (24m). I’m from Poland and he’s from Spain. Since we met almost 1 year ago, he never tried any polish food that me or my family prapered for him. If he just said ,,no thanks” I would be fine.
But he always comments on how disgusting it is, asks how could we even eat that and he gags for the whole meal. He never even tried that food! We argued about it a few times, because I think that he’s behavior is unacceptable, but he sais that this food is just horrible and he’s allowed to have preference.
Four days ago, at a family dinner when my mom asked him if he would like some gołąbki (google translates it as a cabbage rolls, not sure if it’s the same thing) he one again gaged, coverd his mouth and said that he could never eat that.
I was furious with him and told him to apologise. He refused and there was a tense mood throughout the rest of the lunch. After lunch it was time for a dessert. My mom made sernik, whitch is simillar to cheescake, but it’s made with cottage cheese.
My boyfriend refused to try that before, but this time my mom covered it in chocolate so it looked a little different. When he asked what’s that, I quickly said that it’s some store bought cake.
My family didn’t correct me and we all ate in peace. My boyfriend even took a second piece! He asked where we bought that. Then I told him that it’s sernik that my mom made with cottage cheese.
He looked at me a little confused than told my mom it is good. I was happy with the result of my litte lie, but on our way home he started yelling at me, how could I humiliate him like that in front of my family and how could I lie about what he’s going to eat when he already told me that it’s disgusting.
I asked him what his problem was because he liked the cake, but he said that I didn’t respect him and his boundries and he’s not talking to me until I apologise. It’s been four days, he’s not answering my massages and I’m having doubts if he’s right?
AITA? He’s not allergic, doesn’t have any intolarance and he isn’t on diet that would made him not to eat a sernik btw.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) felt deeply disrespected by her boyfriend’s consistent, dramatic refusal to even sample Polish food prepared by her family, which culminated in a public display of disgust at a family dinner. Her attempt to resolve this by deceiving him into trying the dessert, which he enjoyed, backfired when he felt his autonomy and boundaries were violated, leading to a tense silence and a demand for an apology from the OP.
Was the boyfriend’s extreme reaction to new foods a reasonable expression of preference, or was his behavior toward the family rude and disrespectful? And, while the OP’s deception led to a temporary positive outcome with the dessert, was lying about food preparation a valid response to his consistent negativity, or did it fundamentally break trust?
Here’s how people reacted:
You’re allowed to have preferences too – like refusing to date people who are xenophobic, call your food and culture “disgusting”, and are rude to you and your family.
No, you shouldn’t lie to people about what they are eating.. and it can be dangerous when allergies are involved, and really violating when religious or ideological dietary preferences are involved. Next time, dump the AH before it comes to that.
I understand feeling worried you’ll lose all your friends and be alone. But think of it this way – any of your “friends” that would disappear immediately because of who you’re currently dating are not actually your friends. And getting the dead weight out of your life will free up your time, emotions, and head space for connecting with and developing *real friendships,* which you deserve.
Good luck.
Just think about this, what if you continue dating and end up marrying? Will he always act like this around your culture? Not to even mention it is incredibly disrespectful to your family. He could have just said no thanks but decided to act like a child. I understand you’re in love but you’ll be happier without someone who’s acting like that.
Why would you want to be with someone who has little respect for your family and the feelings of others?
He’s enjoying making fun of you and your family. Dont allowing this behavior.
That’s an old ass child at 24 💀
He’s proven to be a dick and is now mad about it
Please tell me he is a STBX.
Polish food is amazing!
Love from Hungary. 😁