AITA for not telling people I’m not the celebrity they think I am?

In the bustling heart of New York City, a man lives under the shadow of mistaken identity, his life unexpectedly intertwined with the fleeting admiration meant for a distant actor. What began as occasional, awkward encounters evolves into daily moments where strangers beam with joy, believing they’ve glimpsed a star. Amidst the chaos, he finds a quiet amusement in these stolen fragments of celebrity, a gentle reminder of connection in a city that often feels anonymous.

Yet beneath this lighthearted exchange lies a deeper truth—how fleeting recognition can stir unexpected emotions, altering moments as personal as a phone call or a hurried walk. What once was a simple joke becomes a poignant thread weaving through his life, revealing the subtle ways we all crave acknowledgment and the delicate balance between reality and illusion.

I look very similar to an actor and I live in New York City. Every so often a tourist would stop me and say “oh my gosh you’re that guy!” And I used to interrupt them and say “no I’m really not.”

But then this guy started starring in a TV show so became way more recognizable. It started so I was being stopped 3-5 times a day by people. Once I was in a mad rush and on the phone so when someone said “Aaahhhh you’re that guy can I take a selfie” I just smiled for the selfie and said have a great day.

It was faster than explaining and insisting I’m not the guy while they accuse me of being too big for the fans, it was kind of funny to think of a picture of me floating around as a celebrity, and it was kind of nice to see how happy they looked when they thought they’d met this guy even for ten seconds.

So now when people stop me I just take picture or shake their hand and move on. I thought it was just funny and never really thought much beyond that. But I was on a date the other night and the girl said “hey has anyone ever told you you look like that guy from that show” and I told her this story and she was horrified.

She said it was so mean to mislead people that way. That hadn’t occurred to me and I really don’t want to be a dick to people, I thought it was something they’d eventually look back on and laugh too.

Didn’t occur to me it would be so upsetting.

Here’s how people reacted:

FaithlessRoomie

NTA: Sometimes its just easier to go along with things.

I met a girl who looks very similar to me, we share the same first names, and we also are both teachers in the same district area. After a lot of trouble initially, we now have an agreement that if a former/current student comes up and starts talking or trying to engage with us- we pretend that they are \_our\_ student. Even if they are the other’s. But it was easier than denying, explaining, and dealing with the initial hurt when the student thought we had forgotten them. Often times the interactions are super short and we can go about our day, and the student is happy cause they saw/talked to their teacher.

You aren’t making a profit off of this and you said you don’t even sign autographs. I think that girl is overthinking this too much.

twigsandgrace

NTA. Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg get mistaken for each other every now and then, and they’ve actually talked about it and have an agreement. If someone comes up to Matt Damon, and thinks he’s Matt Damon, he can do whatever. Say yes, say no, swear, whatever. But if someone comes up to Matt Damon and thinks he’s Mark Wahlberg, he’ll take a photo, not sign anything (or maybe sign his own name, I forget), and be very polite. And vice versa.

I think as long as you’re being polite, not trying to scam anyone, not swearing at people while they think you’re this actor, you’re fine. Doppelgangers happen, it’s New York, it’s whatever.

ZeeLadyMusketeer

Nta. My brother in law is very tall, ripped with a beard and curly longish fair hair. When we spent a month backpacking/touring around India, all the locals thought he was Chris Hemsworth. All of them. We used to get mobbed getting out of our crappy little tourist bus (do they not think the man himself might have travelled in more style?!). Very quickly it became clear it was easier to smile and pose for photos than to protest. You do you, and you’re not causing anything but joy.

Edit: lol, folks, brother *in-law*. As in, married to my sister. I’m sure he’ll be flattered by the attention tho!

[deleted]

NTA. At all. I can imagine this would be infuriating.

If I were you I would get some business cards made saying:

>*Hi there. I see you have walked up to me because you think I’m \[that guy\]. Well sorry, but I’m not \[that guy\]. No really, I’m not. Yes I look like him. But I’m not. Yes I get this all the time. But seriously I’m not him.*

Just silently hand tourists one of those and walk off. If you start a Go Fund Me for fuck-off-tourists-business-cards I will donate.

Bug_squished

NTA. I’ve always thought that people going up to celebrities and asking them for self he’s is extremely rude anyway. The fact that you’re not even the celebrity that they think you is even worse. Do what you gotta do to get them out of your way as quickly as possible.

CrabbityAnn

I think I’d be pissed if I had to go through the same conversation with nobody believing me 3-5 times a day, I think it’s actually pretty cool of you to be so good natured about it. NTA

But I’m dying to know who the celebrity is! Please tell? 😆

lozza321

NTA. Don’t know if this is a bit harsh but people who disturb celebrities going about their day for a selfie are AHs in my opinion – you said this happened once when you were on the phone, who does that?! – so they deserve to be duped.

argybargy2019

YTA- but for the exact opposite reason- Redditors have no idea which celebrity you look like, and you haven’t told us despite all the requests. It’s the yang to your question’s yin.

Witthefit

nah people get paid for doing this kind of thing though. if you need a little extra walking around money you should check out an agency, see if it’s worth your time

youdidwhatnow10

NTA as if you really look like this actor people won’t believe you and will likely think the actor is an asshole for pretending it’s not them.

sofia72311

NTA, but it might be worth trying to get in touch with the celebrity to see if they have a preference for how you handle it?

shredmaster6661

INFO were you one of those people dressed in Elmo costumes in time square, because then you might have fooled me too.

essentialatom

INFO: Who’s older, you or the actor? If he’s younger then he owes you an apology for stealing your face.

Conclusion

The original poster (OP) finds themselves in a conflict between convenience and honesty, preferring to avoid lengthy explanations with mistaken fans by allowing the mistaken identity to persist through photos. This action, which the OP views as harmless fun or a time-saver, has created a significant ethical boundary issue when confronted by their date, who views the behavior as actively misleading and unkind.

Is the OP’s decision to passively mislead tourists for convenience a reasonable social white lie, or is the date correct in labeling this behavior as inconsiderate and fundamentally dishonest? How should the OP balance their desire for privacy and efficiency against the emotional expectation of others to receive accurate information?