Into this fragile dynamic intrudes Sarah, the roommate’s girlfriend, whose presence feels more like an invasion than a comfort. Her entitled attitude and hypersensitivity to everyday life clash violently with the narrator’s passions, turning the shared home into a crucible of irritation and unmet boundaries.
I feel like this is entirely ridiculous. I live with my roommate “Matt”. We used to be pretty close friends, but over the last 2 years of living with him, we’ve drifted apart, and I’m just waiting for our lease to move out on my own.
Matt’s girlfriend “Sarah” pretty much lives with us, despite not paying rent. I won’t lie, she annoys me to no end. She’s an entitled airhead who thinks the world revolves around her.
Anyway, Satah has a “condition” where she gets nauseous at the slightest smell and sight of certain foods. She’s an incredibly picky eater and anything outside of corndogs or chicken tenders make’s her nauseous according to her.
Well unfortunately for her, I like to cook. I love heavily spiced foods and love to cook Asian-style dishes. So, living with a toddler who can’t stand the smell really sucks.
Sarah has always complained about me cooking “smelly” foods and has asked me to stop or do it when she’s “not home.” Well, considering she doesn’t pay rent and spends 18 hours a day at my home I have not accommodated her at all.
Last night, Sarah and Matt sat me down and told me I need to stop cooking because Sarah cannot stand it anymore. Apparently, she had a mental breakdown last week when I was cooking curry.
She claims I am making our apartment a “hostile environment” by ignoring her concerns. I told both of them to piss off until Sarah starts paying her share of the rent. Matt said that because he lives here his opinion matters as well and he wants me to stop.
I told him no to that as well because he’s only doing this because Sarah is being a baby.
We ended up having a massive argument, and neither of them is talking to me both are staying at Sarah’s mom’s house right now. I say good riddance, at least I did until I told the story to my co-workers and they are all shocked.
They say I am being a complete a-hole. This has given me second thoughts on if I was the asshole in the fight we had.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) is facing a severe conflict rooted in sharing space with a non-paying guest whose specific needs clash directly with the OP’s established lifestyle and cooking habits. The OP has prioritized their right to use the shared space fully, refusing accommodation until the guest contributes financially, which has resulted in an escalated argument and temporary estrangement from the roommate.
Is the OP justified in refusing all compromise regarding cooking smells because the roommate’s girlfriend does not contribute financially to the household, or does the need for peaceful cohabitation, even with a non-paying guest, require a level of accommodation from the paying tenant?
Here’s how people reacted:
If you wanted to get real petty and live in an apartment you could tell him you’ll report him as having a guest for too long, most leases don’t allow long-term guests so you could potentially threaten that action if they don’t stop being ridiculous assholes. You’re not breaking any rules, chances are he is with his long-staying gf.
You’re mocking Sarah for what could be a very valid condition. Many “picky” eaters are overly sensitive to certain odors or flavors. It’s not just a dislike for certain foods. She may be having a physical reaction to what you’re cooking. Your name calling and disdain for her make it pretty clear that you’re being an AH on purpose.
Where she and Matt became AHs is when they tried to insist that you reduce your AH behavior but won’t consider paying more than 50% of the rent, even though a 60/40 split would be more fair.
That said, you are a bigger AH than Sarah and Matt combined.
By the way, check your lease terms, it’s possible the landlord requires notice and approval of any unlisted tenants.
Bravo!!! If it gets her out all the better Wow! She’s not paying rent but is making demands??
NTA.
You get to use the kitchen you are paying for, you aren’t doing anything unreasonable here. End of conversation.
Who am I to tell a grown person what to make in their own kitchen? Does it suck? Yes! But I can always open a window in my room and burn some incense, geez!
Sure, they could have been more friendly about it, but OP is basically paying rent to be treated as an inferior in their own house by a guest that they don’t welcome.
>I told both of them to piss off until Sarah starts paying her share of the rent.
This is the appropriate response. They can find things to do outside of the house as she does not live there. Have you talked to your landlord about the extra “tenant”?
The nerve of someone who is a guest. I can’t t even imagine