AITA For being “whipped” for my wife enough to get a trip replaced?

In the quiet chaos of a home filled with five children, a man stands firm in his devotion to his wife’s well-being. Despite grueling 50-hour workweeks and societal pressures, he chooses to prioritize the small moments of joy and relief she deserves, shielding her from the relentless demands of motherhood and daily life.

When a work trip threatens to pull him away, he refuses to abandon the delicate balance they’ve built. His love is not just in grand gestures but in the everyday decisions—like sacrificing a weekend getaway to create space for her peace, and turning a fishing trip into a shared family memory rather than an escape.

AITA For being "whipped" for my wife enough to get a trip replaced?

I (28m) have 5 kids with my wife (32f). Please don’t come after us with how many kids we have. I work roughly 50 hours a week (10 hour days m-f) and my wife is a SAHM. She does the majority of everything, cleaning, cooking, everything minus the shopping which my wife orders online and I pick up at the store.

So here’s the AITA scenario, my work schedules a work bonding fishing trip from Friday night to Sunday over the summer. I said no way I’m going, for the following reasons, (despite my wife telling me to go and have fun).

First of all every Saturday I schedule my wife for some type of treat your self appointment and send her on a mini shopping spree/kiddo free morning to do what she wants with one rule no kid shopping.

It’s about her and her only.

Second, I’m not leaving my wife for 2 nights and a day for fishing and getting drunk. If I want to go fishing I’ll take the 5yr old twins with me to give my wife less to juggle and create some memories

Third, the ladies that work at the office feel excluded because they don’t like the fishing trip because they feel excluded.

Fourth, they call it a stag weekend (despite no one getting married) and I don’t trust that phrasing, especially since they are going fishing near a very popular college age vacation spot known for bars and wasted weekend shenanigans.

So my coworkers have been calling me whipped since I said no, and saying it’ll give them a chance to know me better since I don’t go out with them on Wednesdays when they go to the bar and have always missed the trip.

All my coworkers all have wives, kids or significant others so I recommended we do a family campout during the planning meeting (would cost the same amount) and do those blow up things on the lake, boating if you have one, skis ext.

and do a cookout kind of deal with family activities with my work renting small cabins for families to use. My regional manager who was at the meeting loved it even more than the fishing trip, gave me a yearly bonus to plan this family event every year instead of my coworker who gets one to plan the fishing trip.

Now my coworkers are calling me whipped and more bs names and are mad because their wives are happy about my idea (their wives have even emailed me about a mom Saturday morning idea like my wife has and I added it into the plan) and are mad their stag weekend is canceled and quote “spend a work paid trip babysitting”.

So reddit AITA for getting a work trip canceled and replaced with a family friendly event?

Edit for clarity: I also included the childfree coworkers of mine in the planning and said if they need a break or are getting overwhelmed they are more then welcome to borrow my boat for relaxing without kids or for more extreme waters ports.

Here’s how people reacted:

PNWPainter02

NTA. You coworkers sound like they need an excuse to get away from their families- which everyone needs at some point- and they should be doing that on their own time. If this is a work event, it should include everyone who works there! Having work pay for a “stag” weekend is gross. Your suggestion is much more inclusive and will essentially be a much better bonding experience for your colleagues. If they’re giving you a hard time because you respect that fact that your wife needs a break from being with 5 kids all day every day, then I pity their wives and kids. Ultimately your family should come first and it sounds like you found a good solution for balancing work and home life. The other guys can figure out how to get drunk and ogle college girls in their own time.

themisfit123

NTA You came up with an idea that would benefit everyone and not leave anyone left out. I find it weird that a workplace would even have such an exclusive fishing trip to begin with. I’d bet the women have been trying to get the trip changed for years but no one would listen to them. It definitely sounds like they felt left out. If the fishing trip is that important to them, they can still go and pay for it themselves. Literally nothing is stopping them from doing so. The fact that they see having to spend a weekend with their kids as “babysitting” tells me all I need to know about them.

stubborn_panda26

NTA. Those are all valid reasons.

If my company organized a “stag” weekend when no one was getting married and excluded all the female staff I’d be pissed too. This wasn’t a work trip, it’s a guy’s weekend disguised as a work trip. Your idea sounds way more appropriate.

>Now my coworkers are calling me whipped and more bs names and are mad because their wives are happy about my idea

You’re not whipped, you’re a considerate husband that suggested an inclusive work event. Not your fault that your male coworkers are toxic and consider spending time with their own children “babysitting”.

TastyPerception9603

I’m confused. You sound like the literal dream of the average woman. You acknowledge your wife’s hardwork in the home and treat her like the queen she is, you are there for your children as much as you can be, and you avoid situations that you KNOW would lead to inappropriate things going on.

Tell them that, and then say this “If what I do for those I love sounds whipped yo you, then explain to your spouse what I do and see what they think. Go ahead. I bet the word they’ll call you won’t be whipped.”

milliebarnes

You sir, are one in a million. Congratulations for truly loving your wife and respecting your relationship enough to be there for her and your children. Who cares if they call you whipped? You know you’re a good man, you know your wife loves you and you love her, it sounds like you have your priorities straight. So hold your head up and just laugh at him when they tell you that you were whipped.

IAmHerdingCatz

NTA, but some of your co-workers sure are. Calling you “whipped” is sexist and is a reportable offense. Additionally, any person who refers to caring for their own progeny as “babysitting” is an automatic AH in my book. Plan your inclusive family trip and your co–workers who want to have a stag weekend can do it on their own time.

PizzaInteraction

NTA, but your alternate suggestion is just bad. (Drinking and fishing turns into a family trip?)

You just don’t want to go on the trip, and your using your wife as a shield. If you had just said, “That’s not something I want to do,” your coworkers would still be AH’s, but for different reasons.

Wisdomofpearl

NTA, you sound more like husband/father of the year. Probably why your male co-workers are not happy, their wives/SO are going to want to see them be more like you. I hope you have a safe and fun family weekend and hopefully this becomes a regular event.

Street_Passage_1151

God I hate “THE OL’ BALL AND CHAIN” “GOD I HATE MY WIFE” kinda energy these guys are putting out.

NTA it’s not your fault you had a better idea that not only included everyone but also serves as a great little vacation for everyone’s families.

BriefHorror

NTA LMAO they’re mad they have actual standards of conduct to live up to now. You’re a good husband, you have a good marriage and I’m sure a lovely wife, please enjoy them and the fun family friendly weekend you’re going to plan.

Decent_Ad6389

NTA

As a female coworker I would have been pissed. Why would the company pay for half of the workers to go have fun and ignore the other half? It’s not fair.

The alternative you came up with sounds lovely.

unknownun2891

If they want a stag weekend, they can pay for it themselves. This seems too exclusive for a work paid trip, honestly. I’m glad you stood up for those that hadn’t been included before.

ApexMM

Nta, but I would bring up that the segregation of duties in your house seems a little off. You should be the one cooking and cleaning seeing as she has the more demanding job.

InterwebHero20

NTA. You have a supportive relationship with your wife and are making positive choices, while your colleagues are desperately clawing to stay in the 1950s

throwaway48292492210

nta, you sound like a really great husband and if those guys are mad they “have” to spend time with their familes then they’re the weird ones

General_Relative2838

NTA. You sound like a great family man and a thoughtful coworker. I wish we could clone you. PS I do hop you get some “me” time for yourself.

kastalaesi

It’s not babysitting if it’s your own children. You’re being considerate to your wife and it sounds like you’re a good husband. You’re NTA.

niennabobenna

NTA

You came up with a solution that everyone could participate in. Sorry for them that they can’t relive their youths.

Conclusion

The original poster (OP) prioritized his family’s stability and his wife’s well-being over a traditional, male-centric work bonding event, leading to conflict with his coworkers who view his refusal and subsequent counter-proposal as a sign of weakness or being controlled.

Is the OP justified in prioritizing his commitment to his family structure and personal boundaries over maintaining an exclusive social relationship with his coworkers, even if it results in the cancellation of a previously planned event and resentment from his peers?