During a shower, her husband commented that he missed her previous body, specifically mentioning how good she looked in sexy clothes before she gave birth. When she later expressed that this comment hurt her because she is self-conscious and trying to recover, he dismissed her feelings by simply stating that what he said was true. This left the original poster (OP) deeply hurt, leading her to withdraw from intimacy and question if her current emotional state justifies this reaction, wondering if she is unfairly withholding sex.
I gave birth around 2 months ago. I’m up a bit more than 10 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m in constant pain, barely getting sleep, still recovering. I’ve been easing back into the gym this past week.
My husband and I were showering after having sex and while feeling me he said he misses my body and he said I used to look so good in sexy clothes/lingerie before. I went quiet, finished my shower, and went to check on the baby.
I brought it up later that that hurt me and I’m self conscious and trying. He just shrugged and said it’s true. I cried in my car after my workout. He doesn’t even workout and he eats garbage.
I’ve been feeling really down about my body since his comment, and I’ve pulled back from intimacy for a few days. He says I’m weaponizing sex, but I’m just struggling with how I feel about myself right now.
AITA?
Conclusion
The original poster is currently experiencing significant emotional distress and body image issues stemming directly from her partner’s insensitive comments made during a vulnerable postpartum period. Her response has been to withdraw from sexual intimacy, which her husband has labeled as ‘weaponizing sex,’ highlighting a major disconnect between her need for emotional support and his perception of her actions.
The central conflict lies between the OP’s justifiable need for compassion and patience during her physical recovery versus the husband’s apparent expectation of an immediate return to previous physical standards. The debate centers on whether the OP is entitled to space and patience, or if withholding intimacy based on emotional distress constitutes an unfair response to her husband’s criticism.
Here’s how people reacted:
You just grew an entire human and are barely 2 months PP. Let me ask you something OP. Are you pushing yourself to go to the gym for your sake or your husband’s? If it’s for anyone but yourself, stop. Be kind to yourself and screw what your husband said. How could anyone find someone who negatively commented on their body desirable?
You’re not weaponizing sex. After you’re feeling up to talking, he definitely needs to listen to your feelings again and show some empathy. I wonder how much he would enjoy you shrugging and saying “it’s true” if he asked “You don’t want to have sex with me?”
That AH had the nerve to put his foot in TWICE?! Has he no filter? What a selfish AH!
I can’t even understand wanting to have sex two months after birth, your husband should be ecstatic that you even feel like being intimate at all.
You are not weaponizing sex. You have just (rightly so) gone off your husband. Selfishness as\*holery is such a turnoff and SO unattractive. Why does he even want sex if your body is all of a sudden so very unattractve (which I am 100% sure it isn’t!!). He did that to himself. And now he throws a pity party without feeling the need to apologize to you. Not that an apology out of his mouth would be believable at this point.
Next time, say “yeah I miss my body too, why’d you have to knock me up.” Make it his fault.
Your body is perfect. It has performed a miracle, an amazing thing to carry and bring new life into the world. A real man would recognize that. You married a manchild. Now you’re raising TWO children. Good luck but you are NTA
PLEASE do not internalize this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, your body, your feelings, or your choice not to reward his hurtful words. He’s the one in the wrong.
This guy’s audacity is fucking stunning. You changed your body to grow and birth his child and he has the nerve to complain about 10 pounds or so?
I’d never fuck him again. That’s some divorce-worthy entitlement right there.
YOU ARE NTA BUT YOUR HUSBAND IS.
He can F right off with that kind of BS talk.
Ma’am – you literally grew a HUMAN inside of you for 9 months. All he did was stick his dick inside of you for 10 mins. You are literally recovering while he was done recovering 2 minutes after he finished 11 months ago.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. NONE. NADA. ZIP. ZERO.
Tell him you’re not weaponizing anything.
His dick caused your body to look like this so sex is now a turn off since he feels like this about your body.
Remind him you grew a literal person inside of your body which is why you look like this and it takes far more than two fckin months to recover and you may never look the same after having HIS child.
Your husband is an AH. Sorry you married a shitty man.
I’d let him know you miss the man you married that wasn’t a selfish dick…but here we are.
His words made him unattractive to you “shrug” just being honest.
He doesn’t deserve you and him bulldozing over your feelings is a clear red flag, I would plan for a divorce in the future, a man like that won’t change.
I’m one of those guys that like stretch marks. You know? Marks of life.
See how he likes the body shaming