As he dismisses the meals set before him, craving something else in the moment, she stands firm, exhausted by the endless cycle of catering to moods that shift like shadows. When he threatens to go to bed hungry, she feels the weight of impossible choices—between standing her ground and giving in to avoid hurt feelings. Their love story unfolds in the tension of unmet expectations, revealing the fragile balance between care, respect, and the hunger for understanding.
My husband (33) is a picky eater but I know what meals he likes and make sure to cook them all week. I had to give up a lot of good meals to be able to cook him his favorites and make sure he doesn’t miss one diner.
However, lately he’s been complaining about the meals I cook that are his favorites. only because “he’s just not in the mood to eat this specific meal” so he would try to get me to cook something else right then and there.
if I say no? he would go to bed hungry and without dinner..I feel bad so I just cook what he wants.
I got tired of it because it kept happening. Last night he came home and saw the two different meals I cooked – he looked at them both and said he wasn’t “in the mood” to eat neither of them and asked if I could cook him another meal.
I was upset I said “NO, this is all I had on the menu.” He made a face and acted sad and then was like “are you sure?….I would have to go to bed hungry…wouldn’t that make you feel sad?” I stayed in my chair and shrugged and said “as you like honey”.
He got upset and told me I had no consideration for him nor do I care about his feelings and if he go to bed hungry after working the whole day. I stayed quiet then he stormed away from me.
We didn’t speak til this morning where he said that my “as you like” attitude was hurtful amd dimissive and is now expecting an apology for it.
Edit points: He is the breadwinner, and so house duties full on me mainly. This is the first time he yelled at me and I’m shocked because usually he’s a sweet talker and unbelievebly quiet.
I admit that he can use his sweet talking to get me to cave in sometimes.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) reached a breaking point after consistently accommodating her husband’s highly specific and ever-changing dietary demands, leading to a direct confrontation when she refused to cook a third meal. The central conflict lies between the OP’s established pattern of self-sacrifice and accommodation in domestic duties versus her husband’s expectation that his immediate desires should override their agreed-upon meal plan, leading to emotional pressure when his requests are denied.
Is the husband justified in using emotional leverage (threatening to go hungry or expressing sadness) to force his spouse to cater to his sudden food preferences after she has already made significant sacrifices for his established diet, or was the OP justified in setting a firm boundary by refusing to cook another meal?
Here’s how people reacted:
If my husband makes me food I don’t like I tell him thank you and eat it because HE took the time to make me a meal and I’m usually quite grateful! Your husband is 33 yo. He’s not your child nor is he a baby. He can use his own limbs to cook up his own meals and quit the whining if he doesn’t like what you have to offer. Do not enable him. Doesn’t matter whether he’s the main provider. You deserve way more respect than that or the guilt trips you receive from him.
Quit raising a child in your marriage. Quit cooking. Let him cook what he wants to eat and put it in the fridge, so HE can heat it up when he gets home from Big Bad Work. Quit coddling such behavior.
Actually, most mothers would probably say “that’s what’s for dinner; if you don’t like it, make yourself a bowl of cereal or a PB&J”
You’re his spouse, not his short-order cook.
He’s already got you jumping through hoops making *two* meals for him to choose from. Enough is enough.
“Sorry honey; obviously I can’t do anything right, so I’m throwing in the towel. You’ll do your own cooking from now on.”
I hope he has a swift and complete recovery.
NTA.
When I grew up, there was a saying “Eat what I cook or go hungry”. And that’s when I was 10.
Don’t reproduce with him, else you’ll have two children.
“I would have to go to bed hungry….wouldn’t that make you sad?”
The emotional manipulation he’s spewing on you is disgusting.
You need to stop acting like his mother and indulging his childish behaviour
He needs to grow the fuck up