In a room filled with love and fleeting moments, the ticking clock became a cruel reminder of fractured bonds and unshared burdens. The ceremony, shortened and hurried, mirrored the fractured connection between her and a family bound by tradition yet divided by frustration and silent resentments.
My sister got married last weekend. I flew into town and my parents insisted that I stay with them instead of a hotel like I wanted.
My parents are consistently late for everything. I think it’s a Latin thing. I hate being late. I think it’s disrespectful.
The wedding was at 2:30. My folks live about half an hour from the church.
Noon rolls up and my folks aren’t even getting ready yet.
They are adults and I am over dealing with them.
I get ready. I send for an Uber and I am at the church for 2:00.
I check in with my sister. She asks me if I had any problems getting my parents to church. I told her that I came by myself. She blew my white and said that I was responsible for getting them there on time.
Well nobody asked me to do that. I didn’t even want to stay there.
So now everyone starts calling my parents. They were getting ready. They were about 35 minutes late.
The service was shortened because there was another wedding later that day.
Everyone is still mad at me for not getting my parents there on time. My aunt said that I’m an asshole for messing up the timing of the wedding. My mom says it’s my fault for not reminding them to get ready.
Am I the only one who thinks adults should be able to be on time for their own kid’s wedding without help?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) experienced significant stress because their parents failed to arrive on time for a family wedding, leading to conflict where the OP was blamed for not forcing the parents to be punctual. The central conflict lies between the OP’s belief that responsible adults should manage their own schedules and the family’s expectation that the OP should assume parental duties to ensure timely arrival.
When adult family members cause delays due to their own poor time management, is it the responsibility of other relatives to intervene and ensure their punctuality, or should individuals be held solely accountable for their own actions, regardless of the event’s importance?
Here’s how people reacted:
Yeah your parents are absolutely adults and SHOULD be able to manage their time appropriately. Especially for this event. They suck.
I think if this were in the context of a different kind of even I’d say NTA, but it sounds like everyone knows your parents struggle with managing their time. If you really just left without saying anything to them then I think you are kind of in the wrong too. You were being petty and knew exactly what was going to happen. Your sisters wedding was not the time or place to teach them a lesson about this.
Now if you had told parents that you are leaving at exactly 12pm sharp and if they are not ready to go you are leaving in an Uber or did something to sort of attempt to get them to be on time then you ditching them is justified. Based on your post, I don’t think you really made an effort. Again, I know it’s not really fair and shouldn’t be your job to babysit mom and dad, but I think for the sake of your sisters wedding, you could have made more of an effort with this. Obviously your sister is pissed but she should be mad at all three of you.
This is the kind of thing that’s easy to say on the Internet and less realistic to do in real life, but I kind of wish your sister had just started the wedding on time and locked your parents’ lazy asses out of the church.
NTA
Also seriously though whats with your parents being so irresponsible for not even making time just once for one of their own children’s weddings? That’s just inexcusable.
And your sister couldn’t have asked you beforehand to ride herd on your parents and get them to the church on time?
I’m guessing everyone’s blaming you because you’re the comfortable, stress-free option. People know that you’re not going to blow up, start a screaming match outside their house, and then send in the flying monkeys. Am I right?
In Norway, parents are basically part of the wedding party and would be expected to be at the church/venue not much later than the bride and groom. Not necessarily to do any work, but to be there to support and help out in a pinch.
Being late to your own child’s wedding when you live half an hour away is unforgivable. And it’s their fault, not yours.
They are adults and know when the wedding was.
Truthfully, I would have proceeded with the ceremony on time. It’s disrespectful to the pastor, the photographer, and all the guests holding everything up for 35 minutes. Maybe then they would learn to be on time.
And no it’s not your responsibility to get them there on time. Unless they are like 90+ years old or in a bad mental state they are responsible themselves for not being late on their daughters wedding.
Your parents needed reminding to get ready for their own daughter’s wedding, and somehow people think *you’re* TA?
Ask everyone on what planet that makes sense. Because it’s not this one.