Caught between loyalty and unease, she wrestles with whether to speak up or stay silent, fearing the disruption of peace but unable to ignore the pang of neglect that stings deep within her heart. Her boyfriend’s dismissive words only deepen the ache, reminding her that sometimes, the hardest battles are the ones fought in silence inside the walls of a home that should feel safe.
I live with my boyfriend and our two roommates. One of them being his best friend from his childhood and his wife. I’ve lived with the couple now since January 2025. The couple have a two year old son, super cute and sweet.
Any time they want to go out to eat for dinner they wait until his bed time (7pm) to go eat. The kicker is that they leave him by himself in the house while he’s asleep to go out and eat.
Sometimes they will be gone for almost 2 hours. They try to justify it by saying that they are watching him on the baby cam while out.
I don’t know if I should say anything since it’s not my kid and I don’t want to start drama in the house. Anytime I bring up a grievance to my boyfriend he gets upset that I put him in the middle.
I’ve told him how it makes me feel when they do something like that and his response is “he’s not being neglected”. As a child my parents weren’t there for me and left me at home more times than I can count so it really makes me upset that they can just do it so casually without a second thought.
They had left him last night, thankfully I was upstairs asleep, but my bf’s friend had called me at 11:30pm asking to go check on him since he was wrapped up in his blanket. I found out in the morning that they had taken edibles and gone to wait in line to buy the new Nintendo switch.
Am I the ass hole for getting so upset over this or even not saying anything to the mom and dad? I just feel like I can’t say how I feel without putting myself in a situation where I can’t get myself out of.
My boyfriend taking his best friend’s side or them getting pissed and I get kicked out of their house.
Conclusion
The original poster is deeply disturbed by their roommates leaving their two-year-old son home alone while sleeping so they can go out to eat, a situation compounded by the boyfriend’s refusal to support the OP’s concerns. This conflict pits the OP’s strong sense of responsibility and past trauma against the couple’s decision-making and the boyfriend’s desire to avoid domestic tension.
Is the original poster justified in feeling extreme anxiety and potentially intervening when their roommates leave a sleeping toddler unattended for hours, or is this purely the parents’ decision that the OP, as a non-guardian, must accept to maintain household peace?
Here’s how people reacted:
Why did your bf’s friend call you? Your bf is the one who is basically allowing this. That makes him way more responsible for this entire situation.
The way they are handling childcare is fucked up, casually pawning off responsibility unto their roommates. The implication is there.
>”if anything happens, there are other adults that we trust in the same house as our child”
So you’re basically living in a house where 3 adults are allowing this to happen. There’s nothing you can do about this.
So honestly? The only thing you can do is move out to remove yourself from these people who don’t take the responsibility of parenting seriously.
Something else you can and should do is to refuse to take calls from them. Don’t allow them to leverage you as their emergency baby monitor when they’re fucking off doing who knows what. Make your BF take it all on.
That’s the only boundary you can really draw.
This is absolutely neglect, and if you don’t want to end up being the person they blame when something goes wrong while you were home with the kid (unbeknownst to you), I suggest moving out. Also, call CPS whenever they do this next. This poor child is going to end up injured or dead thanks to their “parents.”
Also, I’d second guess the bf. Does he think this is okay, or does he just not want to rock the boat? Make him see reason or drop him.
NTA, but if you let this keep going this way, you will be!
This is negligence. What if there was a house fire? What if he started choking in his sleep? Police would absolutely lay charges on something like this. My kid could climb out of his crib at 2!! He became quite the little monkey.
The fact you were asleep and weren’t made aware they were gone? What if you had left for some reason? That child would have been alone.
For your own protection, I would not stay there. If anything happens to that child while they are gone and you are there, you’ve opened yourself up to liability. They can just say that you offered to watch him and then it’s your word against theirs.
This behavior is 100% criminal. None of the people will stop this behavior because they see nothing wrong with criminal levels of child neglect & endangerment. And one day when that kid dies while he’s alone in their room and you are the only one in the house, they will all point fingers at you.
I’d be out so fast & done with that relationship.
This is the second post I’ve read on here today where a fully grown adult human stood by and watched a child be abused and neglected. This is not “drama.” This isn’t a tough situation. This isn’t “I don’t want to be in the middle.” There’s no middle here. This is you watching a child in danger and doing nothing. This is you staying with a man who thinks it’s fine to put a child, a baby, in danger, a man who is best friends with someone who thinks it’s okay to neglect his baby.
Report this to cps, break up with the crap sack you’re dating, and move out.
If something happens to that baby while you are in the house, even if you aren’t watching him, the fact that you didn’t report he was left alone leaves you on the hook, too (meaning if he gets injured or dies, you can be facing criminal charges). Find a new place to live.
Tell them if they don’t start taking care of their child and making sure someone is there to watch him or making arrangements for someone else to watch him, you are going to call CPS. You shouldn’t have to feel responsible for their child.
As someone else commented, what if he’s there and you don’t know and you leave and something happens or if you’re sleeping and don’t know he’s there and something happens.They could say that you were babysitting him, then you’re the one in trouble. NOPE‼️🙅♂️
It’s not your responsibility to make sure that their child is taken care of and safe. Ask yourself if you have a child with your bf. Will he do the same thing?
Updateme
It’s literally child endangerment to leave a child without proper supervision, this could lead to a felony depending on how bad it is.
Unless you are willing to catch a charge for these neglectful parents I would remove yourself from this situation.
They are using you for free babysitting even if it is just in case.
Next time they do it. Leave the house with your significant other. Then call the police and say there is a baby home alone.
I would be noping out of there so far and calling child services on the way out the door
If you live with them and they do something harmful or neglectful to the kid, you could also be held accountable.
It’s likely to cause a major rift, but I would stand my ground and say something.
How a parent can possibly think that a child is safe alone?
Talk to them and if they don’t listen report them
They’re pulling this crap because they’re counting on *you* to be responsible for their child.