The wife, overwhelmed by the disregard for their home and the silence of the parents, felt a deep sting of betrayal and anger. This night, instead of warmth and laughter, became a crucible testing the limits of patience and the strength of family ties.
My wife (26F) and I (27F) moved to a new house. We thought we’d throw a dinner party and invite both sides of our families. We used to live in a different state for 5 years and now is our opportunity to catch up with our loved ones.
My BIL has two kids (Daniel – 5M and Rosie 3F). These kids were absolutely horrible during the entire dinner and their parents did not say a single word or even try to control them.
Just to name a few examples:
They moved pillows from sofas and chairs, spilled drinks and food on different surfaces, threw an orange on my Persian carpet, sat on it, made it explode and spread the orange on the carpet with their hands, broke two glasses, and overall ran around, shouting and screaming.
I was the youngest in the family, and I didn’t see kids much in my entire life. But this was horrifying to me and I was so pissed at my BIL and his wife for just watching their kids do these things and not saying anything.
I told my wife to talk to her brother. She was as pissed as I was. However she said she already talked to him but he said they were just kids and that’s how kids grow up. He also said he wanted them to have a strong sense of self confidence.
While we were all saying goodbye, BIL told his kids now that your aunties live nearby we’ll come visit often. I said no I don’t think that’s going to happen very soon. BIL was confused and asked why.
I said because we actually love the peace and comfort in our home and these guys are a little cute tsunami.
This made both BIL and his wife angry. He called me an entitled brat, and told my wife she was a horrible host. My friends think I was too rough. So I thought I’d ask. Aita?
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) felt deeply disrespected and angry after their in-laws’ children caused significant damage and disruption during a housewarming party, with the parents failing to intervene. The central conflict lies between the OP’s desire to protect their new home and peace, which led them to confront the BIL directly, and the in-laws’ expectation that the OP should tolerate destructive behavior under the guise of child development and confidence-building.
Was the OP justified in directly confronting their brother-in-law and setting an immediate boundary against future visits due to the severe lack of parental control, or did this harsh dismissal escalate the situation unnecessarily and damage family relations?
Here’s how people reacted:
Your BIL and wife are absolutely doing zero parenting.
> threw an orange on my Persian carpet, sat on it, made it explode and spread the orange on the carpet with their hands
how did not even one adult out of the four in the house, intervene during any of these steps? or when they were running around screaming and breaking things?
You were frustrated with the situation and spoke from that feeling.
The correct thing to say would have been “we’ll see”. I’m not excusing poor parenting, but you did insult your guests by essentially telling them they are no longer welcome. You created this conflict, where before it was just your frustration.
If you’re an entitled brat, what are his kids??
You were right to nip this in the bud. You barely know the kids, so no emotional bond there.
If they want their kids to be invited to stuff, then they should teach them to behave.
This is a really kind and lovely way to put it. It’s baffling to me that they reacted so badly to that.
>He called me an entitled brat
lol, well.
> these guys are a little cute tsunami
That is hands down the nicest way of saying “your kids are a handful and I don’t want them in my house” that I’ve ever heard.
I’m stealing that