Yet, the tender act of naming becomes a battlefield where love and grief collide, as her sister stakes a claim on the name that holds their shared history. In the struggle to keep peace, she finds a delicate compromise—Rosalie—a name that carries the spirit of their nana Rose, a symbol of the unspoken sacrifices made to preserve family harmony amid the quiet ache of divided love.
I have a 9 year old daughter, and another on the way. I had 2 grandmothers: “Annie” and “Rose”. I named my oldest “Annabelle”, after nanny Annie, whose full name was also Annabelle.
I did not name her after nana Rose as at the time she was born, nana Rose was still with us. When I found out I was pregnant with a second, I decided to name her after nana Rose, who passed in 2017.
My sister, “Lucy”, got pregnant about 5 months before me. She says that she wants to name *her* baby Rose, after nana Rose. I say our kids can share the name. She says I already have Annabelle, and I could have named her Annabelle Rose or something but passed up the chance, so I can’t also have Rose.
I figure this is not the hill to die on, so I say I’ll look for something else, but reserve the right to use Rose. I then crack open a baby book, and a few entries after “Rose” is “Rosalie”.
It’s perfect. Honours nana Rose, doesn’t piss off Lucy, and my boyfriend loves it. Lucy finds out the new name and says it’s lovely and she approves, which annoys me but I say nothing.
This all takes place in the 8th month of her pregnancy, 3rd month of mine, so I don’t even know the gender yet and this is all hypothetical.
A couple weeks later Lucy gives birth. A few days ago, about a month after birth, she announces that her daughter’s name is Rosalie. At this point, I’m really annoyed, because I went to great lengths to leave the name Rose available, and she’s nicked my choice.
Mum calls me to say she knew what Lucy was planning and she hopes I’m not upset, because this means I can now name my incoming daughter Rose. Except I’m now attached to Rosalie. I tell mum that I’m sticking with Rosalie.
She says Lucy has Rosalie, I say there’s going to be 2 Rosalies in the family. She says this is impractical as both Rosalies will have the same surname (sister is a single mum, boyfriend is taking my name) and they will likely be in the same school and year group, so this will cause all manner of issues.
I say if it’s going to be an issue, then I’ll deal with it if/when it comes up.
Lucy then calls me, calling me an inconsiderate prick, and says I’m being petty, that I don’t have a monopoly on the name, and that she can name her kid what she likes. I said that’s all true, so by that same logic I can use Rosalie.
She says there can’t be 2 Rosalies, as it’ll cause problems, and I say she’s the one who has a problem with it, so she can change her kid’s name or deal with it. She again called me an inconsiderate, spiteful, arse, and hung up.
Mum, dad, and our brother all side with Lucy.
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Edit – I appreciate the alternate name suggestions that stem from Ros(e)(alie), and I do find reading them interesting, but I did say that all names are fake, so, in the nicest way possible, Ros(e)(alie) inspired names aren’t really helping me lol.
Also it has been confirmed I’m having a girl.
Conclusion
The original poster (OP) experienced significant emotional investment in securing the name ‘Rosalie’ as a tribute to their late grandmother, a choice they made after initially yielding the name ‘Rose’ to their sister, Lucy. The central conflict arises because Lucy preemptively adopted the newly chosen name ‘Rosalie’ for her baby, which the OP views as a breach of an unspoken agreement and a direct challenge to their right to honor their grandmother.
Given that the family overwhelmingly supports Lucy’s position that having two children named Rosalie with the same surname is impractical, should the OP feel entitled to proceed with the name Rosalie, or should they concede the name to avoid ongoing family friction and perceived logistical difficulties?
Here’s how people reacted:
That said, I do think you WBTA if you name your daughter the same name just because you love it or it might spite your sister. If, as you say, there’s a likely chance that they will be doing things together, it will probably be irritating for them to have to deal with all the time. Kids are brutal and also sensitive- why set your kids up to dislike or resent each other just because you like a name? Also, there’s a good chance that if you both choose the name, it *will* come up with your kids and you’re going to have to be very careful to not let your kids in on any of the fighting that will almost definitely continue to happen throughout their lives. Their names will literally be synonymous with conflict and that isn’t good for anyone, let alone kids.
In fairness, I am likely biased because I was named after someone in the family and I ended up changing my name and it became a *huge* deal to everyone else who apparently had a stronger connection to the name than I did. I wish my parents specifically hadn’t gotten so attached to a name that they made me suffer through having it even though it made me uncomfortable. Don’t do that to your kids. Kids are people who are going to grow up and live with certain decisions that they didn’t necessarily make. Decisions made for kids should be done in service to the kid- not the parent. You may love the name- you’ve built a relationship and it means something to you. Your kid isn’t going to have that relationship with it- they may appreciate the memory of nana Rose- but they aren’t going to have known her like you have so the bulk of their relationship to their name will come from their experience of it, which sounds like it will be an issue.
ESH, mostly Lucy, but please take some deep breaths. Where do you want to be 10 years from now? Do you want to have a warm relationship with your sister? Do you want two cousins with the exact same name having constant issues at school? You may have to give a little here. Sometimes family dynamics are stupid and unfair and pregnancy hormones are no joke and elevate issues that could normally be talked through like rational people. You have every right to name this child Rosalie, but is it in the best interest of the child and your family, or are you doing it because you’re pissed off and want to make a point? Is this really about your grandmother at this point? Families are complicated, and sometimes you lose the battle but can win the war.
I have a friend who shares a first and last name with a cousin. It’s really not that bad. They work in a family business together too and they just get used to bouncing things between each other if/when there is confusion and they need to.
I’ve worked with cousins in the same company who had the same first, middle and surnames, and they weren’t the only ones in the family with that name. It was funny but no big deal.
Like someone says, give her an awesome middle name and she can choose what she goes by as she gets older.
Your sister has been an out and out arse, but it sounds like she is in a rougher place than you and, well she’s done it now hasn’t she?
Treat it as a fait accompli, find another name and let it pass.
I usually think name arguments are stupid. You keep that name and give the kid a kick ass middle name. She knew what she was doing, out of spite.
You literally went out of your way so she get the hell over it.
Everyone needs to have some maturity and stop acting like children. Name your kids whatever you like you and your sister both.