YTA

As a 16 year old girl, I’ve gone threw the fear on my parents reading through my diary when I had one so much, that I would rip it up and start over every so often.

That’s her privacy and you had no right to intrude on it. I don’t mean to attack but it hits close to home for me. She needed time and you decided that you deserved to know then. Going through a breakup, especially at that age is difficult and she didn’t have to share her feelings with you.

You shouldn’t have done that and her trust in you is most likely broken. If she wanted to and felt she could’ve, she would have come to you. But at this point, she may never do so again.

You need to apologize for what you’ve done and allow her to make the next move and this time, give her the time and right to decided privately without rushing her.

Let also get some insight, I don’t have a good relationship with my mother and don’t confide my worries in her because of her breaches of my privacy. When I went through a breakup with someone of 2 years, my mom refused to accept my answer that we grew apart and asked my friends what happened. I’m still angry about it.

I don’t care who you are, everybody deserves privacy. I hope everything turns okay for you and your daughter’s relationship. Sorry for my rant, it just hit close to home.

YTA BUT! People need to calm down and stop treating you like Hitler.

You did it out of concern without malicious intent.

You fucked up, bro. Every dad fucks up so now you need to decide what kind of dad you’re going to be.

A bad one and make bad decisions or a good one and make good decisions.

Might I suggest starting with giving her her space then sitting her down and apologizing to her and explaining why you did it.

It wasn’t to catch her doing something bad it was because you’re worried about her. Then let her decide how she feels about it. Also never do it again ever for any reason.

You can tell her you won’t and she might not believe you but there is things you can do it prove you’re serious.

Like giving her some tampering proof tape so she knows no one has read it or buy one she can lock or if you want to go way above and beyond a chest she can lock to prove to her that whatever she deems private it private and you trust her.

Hope that helps and don’t beat yourself up, this single incident doesn’t make you a bad dad you just fucked up a bit and that happens.

i don’t understand parents logic in this. their kids don’t talk to them, so they go and violate their privacy, and then later in life will ask “why don’t you talk to me??” because you taught your daughter that her privacy doesn’t mean anything to you. that her trust in you was misplaced if you, instead of sitting her down and having a heart to heart, went through her personal writings, what else will you go through?

i had two different parents: one that went through my stuff and told my secrets and hounded me for them, and one that would see that i was off and sit me down and talk me through it and offer me solutions. you know which one i’m closets to and more willing to listen to now that i’m grown? the one who respected my privacy. it’s really not that hard to be there emotionally for your kid rather than breaking their trust. YTA YTA YTA.

YTA. Congratulations, you’ve just guaranteed that your daughter will **never** talk to you about anything. Way to go, champ. My mom was a lot like you and I’m telling you from experience that the whole “I’m violating you for your own good because I was just sooooo worrieddd” horse shit has the opposite effect you want it to. She’s only going to shut you out harder because she knows that you can’t be trusted. To give you an idea of what your future holds, I stopped telling my mother about anything that was going on in my life when I was 17 and I haven’t actually spoken to her since January.

YTA – huge violation of her privacy and trust. When my mom did this to me i burned my diaries and stopped journaling entirely which was horrible for my mental health. Its taken me 2 decades and a move across the entirety of canada to get to a point where journalling feels fulfilling and not like a bomb waiting to go off. If you want to know whats up with your kid: talk to her. If you still dont get the info you want, work on the relationship. End of discussion. Reading private writing is never acceptable and I’d bet you have a lot of work ahead of you to rebuild this relationship.

YTA for sure. If you thought she didn’t trust you BEFORE you read the diary, you can be rest assured that she doesn’t trust you now.

Judgement aside, most parents want what’s best for their kids, and there are better ways to go about this. Have you thought about or talked about therapy for her? It may just be normal teenage stuff, but it might be helpful for her to have a third party observer with absolutely no interest in the matter to help her work through whatever’s going on.

YTA. Kids do need their privacy. I don’t fault a parent who suspects drug use or something like that for confronting a kid with paraphernalia they find, but you even said in your post that you shouldn’t have read past the first page. Well, you were right about that. I do hope your daughter forgives you, it seems you’re a very devoted Dad, and you meant well, though you handled this poorly.

YTA you violated her privacy. I know it’s incredibly difficult to hold back from what we think of as helping our children. But you have to think about it from her perspective.

Regardless of your intentions you have violated her trust and need to work to rebuild that. Start by apologizing and commit to both her and yourself that you will never do this again or anything like it.

Soft YTA because this wasn’t to snoop or because you didn’t trust her. You really love your daughter and teenage girls are terrifying. I know this because I was one. It was just a major violation of trust and privacy. Let her know you’d be glad to get her someone to talk to if she needs.

YTA you shouldn’t have even read it *AFTER* you found out what it was and your second mistake was telling her that you read it, and instead of telling her you read it you should have subtlety tried to help her work on those problems and you wouldn’t have shattered all her trust in you

yeah, YTA. my parents read mine at 13ish and 30 years later i still remember how sick and humiliated i felt. i get that you were worried, but if you thought you had a hard time getting her to open up before….good luck now.

YTA

Reading your daughter’s diary is a HUGE invasion of privacy; she is completely correct about this. Chances are, her trust in you is going to be very shaken after this.

I can’t believe you even have to ask. YTA.

Apologize and give her a combination safe to keep in her room for her private things.

YTA. 100%. Shes 16, of course shes changing and seems troubled. Being a teenager sucks but its normal.